Attach the problem, not each other.
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"When wolves approach, wild horses form a circle with their heads at the center of the circle and kick out at the wolves, driving them away. When wolves attack a band of wild donkeys, however, they form a circle with their heads out toward the wolves and end up kicking one another.
You have a choice; you can be as smart as a wild horse or as stupid as a wild donkey. You can kick the problem or you can kick each other."