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How To Accumulate Fortune
- Alex Chen
- 18 minutes ago
- 13 min read
Recently, I've been at my grandma's place in China. I have many cousins, and a lot of them have children. They know I'm an English teacher, so they asked if I could help tutor their kids while I'm at my grandma's place.
For context, in China, there are three compulsory subjects: Chinese literature, math, and English. Moreover, the higher your grades, the better the school you can attend. The better the school, the cheaper the tuition.
One cousin's son is entering grade 9, and she told me that her son is excellent at math, but his English is really dragging him down. If his son could raise his English score by a small amount, it would literally save her tens of thousands of dollars in his future tuition costs, so she really hopes I can tutor him English. I asked my grandma for her opinion, and she really hoped I can tutor him too. Thus, even though I had other work to do, I decided to prioritize tutoring my nephew.
However, another important condition is that he himself wants to learn. The mother told me she really dislikes English. Therefore, in my first session with him, I said, "If you want me to tutor you, you have to want to learn. If you don't want to learn, I won't force you. I'll just tell your mom that I'm busy and then you won't have to come back tomorrow. But since we're here today, let's just try it first. My goal isn't to get you to like English. If you want, I might be able to help you get a higher score in English and not feel like English is so troublesome."
He was very receptive to that. After we started learning, he got really into it. I would ask him, "Do you want a break? Do you want to keep learning?" He always wanted to learn more.
After I started tutoring him, other family members found out, and then more nephews and nieces came to learn. They seem to really enjoy learning from me. My guess is that at school, each class has 40 to 50 students, so the teacher doesn't give much personal attention to individual students, but they get a lot of attention and interaction from me. Moreover, I'm an English native, so they want to learn pronunciation from me.
I taught them for a total of five days, and the night before my last day of class with them, I had a vivid dream. In the dream, I was lecturing about how to have successful life, and I talked about three things: filial piety, service mindset, and humility. When I woke up, I felt quite perplexed. I've never had a dream like that before. Then I thought, maybe it's because today is my last day of class with them, and since they seem to like me and trust me, I should impart some important life wisdom to them.
So later that day, after I finished teaching all the English content, I told them about my dream, and that I want to give them some parting advice. They were all very curious.
Me: "Why do your parents want you to get a high grade in school?"
Them: "So we can get into a better school."
Me: "And then?"
Them: "We can get a better job."
Me: "And then?"
Them: "We can make more money."
Me: "And then?"
Them: "We will be happy."
Me: "OK, so the ultimate goal is to be happy. Let me ask then, are there people out there who have a lot of money but are unhappy?"
Them: "Yes."
Me: "Exactly. If you are starving and don't have enough money for basic necessities, then making more money will greatly improve your happiness. But if you already have enough, then more money won't do that much for your happiness.
Besides, basic necessities don't require that much money. Also, there is one big key to your happiness and success, whether at school or in your future career. Do you know what that is?"
Them: "Intelligence?"
Me: "Nope. "
Them: "Luck?"
Me: "Actually, I would use the word 'fortune'. 'Luck' sounds like it's out of our control. But fortune is something we can accumulate. If you want to encounter good teachers, good classmates, a good workplace, these all require fortune. Do you know how to accumulate fortune?"
Them: "Nope"
Me: "Fortune is created from our heart, from our attitude. For example, these past few days, you all got private tutoring from me all day. That's fortune. Your classmates did not have the same opportunity. If other people wanted to get this many hours of private tutoring from me, it would be quite expensive! Why did you have this fortune? Because of your attitude.
You were all very eager to learn and very respectful to your parents and me. You parents asked you to come, and you listened. When I taught in class, you listened respectfully. I often asked you guys if you want to take a break, but you guys said no. You would learn all day and not get tired. I am touched by your eagerness to learn, so I am willing to give you more of my time. Thus, your attitude created fortune for you.
Anyway, the key factor for our happiness and success that I wanted to say is relationships. If we have happy relationships, we will be happy. Moreover, if we want to do well at school, we need to have good relationships with our teachers and classmates. If we want to succeed in the workplace, we need to have good relationships with our leaders and colleagues. There is one key relationship that serves as the foundation for all your other relationships. Do you know which one that is?"
Them: "Our relationship with parents?"
Me: "Yes! There's a Chinese saying: Of all virtues, which comes first?"
Them: "Filial piety."
Me: "Exactly. Our relationship with parents is our first relationship, and we nurture our early habits in that relationship. If someone often argues with their parents, do you think they can manage to not argue with other people?"
Them: "No."
Me: "If someone isn't considerate and respectful to their parents, who raised them and gave them the most, do you think they can truly be considerate and respectful towards other people?"
Them: "No."
Me: "Exactly. If they are nice to you but not their parents, it's only because they want something from you. It's not sincere. If you cannot benefit them anymore, they won't care about you.
So the first important thing I want to tell you guys is to be filial. Strive to make your parents happy and to resolve their worries.
Be more understanding and patient towards them. Try to reduce their burden. Help out around the house. Give them massages. Spend quality time with them. If you can have a good relationship with your parents, you will have a good foundation for your interpersonal relationships, and you will create a lot of fortune.
Second is to have a service mindset. If a person merely seeks pleasure and self-gratification in life, then that's a petty life. Our value in life is determined by how we serve and help others. That's why I hope you guys will share what you learned from me with others. Your classmates probably struggle with English too. What you learned can help them. Helping others creates fortune for us.
For example, let's say today, Wendy helps Lisa. Lisa, how would you feel?"
Lisa: "Thankful."
Me: "Would you look for a chance to return the favor later?"
Lisa: "Of course."
Me: "Exactly. So helping others creates fortune for ourselves. What goes around comes around. Moreover, even if Wendy never sees Lisa again, Wendy might get help from someone else. The fortune will definitely come back to her.
Of course, we're not helping others because we want them to return the favor; that's just a side effect. We help others because we want others to be happy, and when we make others happy, we naturally feel happy too. So where should we start practicing our service mindset?"
Them: "At home?"
Me: "You guys are so smart! Indeed. Home is where we nurture our early habits. If at home, we're always looking for chores to do, for how we can help out, then when we go to other places, we'll naturally look for ways to help out.
For example, at the family gathering last week, after we finished eating, we could go take the elders' bowls and offer to help wash it. Only after all the chores are done do we go to our room and play games. At school, we might take initiative to tidy the classroom. In the workplace, we might take initiative to ask the leader if there's anything else we can do. When elders and leaders see us taking initiative to help out, they will think, 'This person is helpful. I should cultivate this person. I should give them more opportunities to develop and grow." Getting preferential treatment from elders and leaders is also fortune."
Them: "But what if my parents don't let me help? For example, I offered to help my mom chop vegetables, and she told me no need."
Me: "That's fine. The important thing is that you have this sense that you should help out, and that you ask if there's anything you can help with. If she doesn't want you to chop vegetables, you can ask if there's anything else you can help with. If she says no, then it's fine. Or if you really want to help, you can say you want to learn. Or you keep asking at different times, and eventually, your mom will realize your sincerity and let you help out. OK, so that's service mindset.
The last thing is humility. Humility means being willing to accept other people's criticism and being grateful for it. Even more humble is asking others for their criticism and advice.
Humble people are always learning and improving. Humble people have harmonious relationships because they listen to other people's criticism instead of arguing.
If you give someone advice to improve, but they are unhappy about it and argue with you, would you want to give them advice again in the future?"
Them: "No."
Me: "Exactly. We all have faults and problems, and it's hard for us to see them. Other people can see our problems more clearly. If we are humble, others will happily tell us, and then we can improve. That's fortune. If we are not humble, then others won't help us, and we'll keep suffering from our faults. That's misfortune.
In the workplace, whether or not a leader wants to promote you depends largely on your humility. If the leader criticizes you and you start arguing back, then the leader will think this person is not trainable, and the leader won't promote you. So we see the importance of humility.
Again, where does the practice of humility begin?"
Them: "At home?"
Me: "Indeed. Parents know us the best, so they will often lecture us on our problems. If we often argue with them, then we are not humble. If we can accept their advice, thank them for it, and tell them that we will work on it, and then actually work on it, then we are humble. It's not like parents expect us to change in an instant. They just want to know that we understand their worries, that we take their advice seriously, and that we are willing to work on it. Then they will feel relieved.
OK those are the three things I wanted to tell you guys. Simple to understand, but not easy to do. I am still working on these too. But they are very important for our life and for accumulating fortune. Let's do a quick review. What are the three things?"
Them: "Be good to parents. Service mindset. Humility."
Me: "Excellent! Let's go eat dinner."
Commentary
The Sixth Patriarch of Zen Buddhism, Hui Neng, said,
"All the fields of fortune are inseparable from the heart."
Buddhism teaches that there are three major fields of fortune:
The field of gratitude
The field of respect
The field of compassion
Notice that these are all attitudes and virtues. When we cultivate these virtues, we are planting seeds in these fortune fields. These seeds take time to mature, but eventually, when the time is ripe, we will receive our harvest.
1: Gratitude
The first field of fortune is gratitude. A person who has a heart of gratitude will often think of the kindness that others have given them. As a result, they will feel very happy and contented in life. Happiness is a form of fortune. Moreover, they will often think about how to give back to others. They have motivation to serve others, which then makes others want to give back to them. That's also fortune.
Cicero said,
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."
Gratitude gives us motivation to improve ourselves and cultivate other virtues. For example, when we are grateful for other people's contributions, we will naturally treat them with the virtues of respect and consideration. When we are grateful for other people's advice, we will have humility. When we are grateful for challenges, we will have adaptability and perseverance. When we are grateful for other people's trust, we will develop our trustworthiness. And so on.
For most of us, our parents gave us the most. They gave us our life! When we were infants and couldn't take care of ourselves, they took care of us 24/7. Everything we needed, they strived to provide. Thus, the first people to be grateful for are our parents.
When we hold a heart of gratitude towards our parents, we will naturally do things to make them happy and avoid making them unhappy. We will do chores around the house to reduce our parents' burden. As a result, we improve our diligence, abilities, and self-confidence. That's all fortune. We would also study hard at school. As a result, we become intelligent, and we attract the help of teachers and classmates. That's also fortune. We would also listen to our parents' criticism and work hard to correct ourselves so that our parents wouldn't worry. Self-improvement creates fortune.
As mentioned before, our relationship with parents sets the foundation for our other relationships. If we always use an attitude of gratitude towards our parents, we'll nurture this habit, and we'll naturally appreciate other people's kindness and contributions. As a result, we will have good relationships with other people too. That's also fortune.
2: Respect
The second field of fortune is respect. Respect is extremely important for relationships. Nobody likes a disrespectful, rude, or arrogant person. Lack of respect angers people and creates conflict. That's misfortune if not disaster. On the other hand, when we make others feel respected, they really appreciate it, and they will return respect to us. Having others' respect is a form of fortune.
As Mencius said,
"Those who love others are constantly loved by others. Those who respect others are constantly respected by others."
Respect is especially important towards elders, meaning anyone in a higher position than us. It's the natural order of the world for juniors to respect elders. If we see an elder scolding a junior, that wouldn't seem strange, but if we seem a junior scolding an elder, we would think, "What a disrespectful junior!". This isn't to say that elders don't need to respect juniors, just that juniors especially need to respect elders.
When we see elders, such as parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, teachers, and leaders, we should think about how to serve them. Moreover, respect is shown through carefulness. When we serve elders, we take the task very seriously and do it conscientiously. We should check the instructions carefully and report updates promptly. When elders see respectful juniors, they will cherish, value, and want to help such juniors. That is fortune for the junior.
Teachers especially should be respected, not just because they teach us important knowledge and wisdom, but also because our level of respect determines our own benefit. A common saying in Buddhism goes,
"One percent sincerity and respect reaps one percent benefit. Ten percent sincerity respect reaps ten percent benefit."
If a student really respects the teacher and learning, what would they naturally do? They would pre-study before class, review after class, actively participate in class, and promptly ask questions. When the teacher speaks, the student would pay careful attention. All of this benefits the student. All the students in the class got the same lesson, but their level of benefit is dependent on their own level of respect.
If we want to cultivate respect, then we can learn rules of etiquette. The spirit of etiquette is respect and consideration for others, which will create fortune for ourselves. I've previously written about etiquette in an article titled The Importance of Etiquette in Daily Life, so I won't elaborate here.
3: Compassion
The third field of fortune is compassion. Compassion means giving others joy and relieving others' suffering. Someone with a heart of compassion has a service mindset.
As Seneca said,
"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness."
Those who always hold the intention to serve and give to others will in turn be helped by others, so giving creates fortune. According to karma, whatever we give, we will in turn receive. Buddhism often talks about three forms of giving:
Giving others wealth reaps wealth
Giving others comfort and safety reaps health
Giving others knowledge and wisdom reaps wisdom
Giving wealth:
For example, in the process of helping our company earn revenue, we earn our salary. The more value we create for our company, the more salary we get. If we do not add value to our company, our company will not want to keep us as an employee. Another example is when we give gifts to others. Later, when a suitable time arises, they will naturally return a gift.
Even if we don't have much material wealth, we can give our energy (non-material resource) to help others. When we use our time and energy to help others, others will naturally help us back.
Giving comfort and safety:
For example, when someone is in a low mood, we help to lift them up. In that process, we also lift our own mood, and we are less likely to sink into a low mood. If we help someone in their time of difficulty, others will help us in our time of difficulty. If we share health knowledge with others, we would also use the same knowledge in our lives.
Giving knowledge and wisdom:
When we teach or share knowledge, we ourselves are reviewing it. Teaching leaves a deeper impression in the teacher than in the student.
When people with a compassionate heart see others unhappy or suffering, they won't turn a blind eye and think, "None of my business. Don't trouble me." They will do their best to help to whatever degree they can. In this way, they will have a clear conscience. And according to karma, when they themselves are in trouble, people won't turn a blind eye towards them.
It's no wonder Laozi said,
"View others gains as your own gains. View others' losses as your own losses."
One important point is that compassion must be balanced with wisdom. If we lack wisdom, then even if we have good intentions, we may end up harming others. Consider these examples:
Parents who spoil their children out of love end up ruining their children's virtues, which creates misfortune for their futures.
If we see a homeless person on the street and want to help, it might be better to buy them a meal than give cash.
If others ask us for a big favor, we need to weigh our ability and not take on more than we can handle. We also need to confirm the facts with relevant parties.
When helping others, we need to consider the long-term. We want them to become independent rather than become reliant on our help.
When helping others, we need to consider the impact on related parties. In the process of helping one person, we don't want to upset or burden other people.
Conclusion
Chances are, we probably all want to have more fortune. Fortune can appear as encountering good opportunities, receiving help from others, happiness, good health, intelligence, or just "getting lucky". The good news is that fortune can be accumulated, and it doesn't require any money or special circumstances. We can plant fortune in our daily lives through the fields of gratitude, respect, and compassion.
How are your fields of fortune doing? How can you take better care of them?
P.S. For more on karma and accumulating fortune, check out these two articles:
Weekly Wisdom #408
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