How Yanzi Graciously Refused His Ruler

Alex Chen
7 minutes ago
7 min read

Last week, we looked at a story of how Yanzi made his ruler look good. Yanzi has such high cultivation, and history has recorded many of his stories, so I can't help but want to study him more. This week, we'll look at how Yanzi was able to graciously refuse his ruler. Saying no is an important ability because we can't say yes to everything, but saying no in a way that doesn't create awkwardness or conflict is a tough thing, and we can learn from Yanzi.

Once, Yanzi was having his meal when an envoy sent by his ruler, Duke Jing of the State of Qi arrived. Yanzi immediately rose to greet him and invited him to join the meal. Yanzi divided his own food in half to share with the envoy. As a result, neither the envoy nor Yanzi ate to satisfaction.

When the envoy returned, he reported this matter to Duke Jing.

The Duke was astonished and sighed:

“I never imagined that my own chancellor lives in such poverty. This is my failure as a ruler!”

At once, Duke Jing sent to Yanzi one thousand taels of gold, along with tax revenues collected from the marketplace, so that Yanzi could use them to receive and entertain guests.

(Pause! If you were Yanzi, what would you do? Would you accept the Duke's gifts?)

However, Yanzi firmly refused. The Duke persisted and sent gifts three times, but Yanzi rejected them each time.

When the Duke asked why, Yanzi explained:

“I am not poor. With Your Grace’s salary, I already receive blessings enough to support my family, entertain friends, and even help the poor. What you provide me is already more than sufficient.

Moreover, I have heard this:

If a minister accepts the ruler’s wealth and then gives it to the people, that is stealing the ruler’s kindness to win the people’s favor. A faithful minister would never do this.
If a minister accepts the ruler’s wealth but does not share it with the people, that is hoarding the ruler’s kindness for private gain. A man of righteousness would never do this.
If a minister relies on pleasing the ruler to rise in rank, only to be demoted for offending the scholars, and dies leaving his wealth to be seized by others—that is merely guarding treasure for someone else. A wise man would never do this.

At home, I already have enough cloth and grain for daily use. Why would I need to accept so much extra compensation?”

Duke Jing then asked:

“But in the past, our former lord Duke Huan granted his minister Guan Zhong five hundred households of land, and Guan Zhong accepted it without refusal. Why then do you decline my gifts again and again?”

(Note: Guan Zhong is a famous and respected minister in history who helped Duke Huan conquer other states and rise to great power)

(Pause! If you were Yanzi, how would you respond?)

Yanzi bowed respectfully and replied:

“I have heard: even the wise, when they ponder a thousand times, may sometimes be mistaken; and even the foolish, when they ponder a thousand times, may sometimes be correct. I think that though Guan Zhong was a wise man, there were times when his judgment was not perfect. And though I am dull, perhaps there are times when I can be correct. Perhaps when Guan Zhong accepted such gifts, it was one of his rare errors; and when I refuse them, it may be one of my rare moments of right. That is why I repeatedly decline, and dare not accept.”

Hearing this, Duke Jing nodded in understanding.

(Story Source)

Commentary

When I first heard this story, the first question that came to my mind was, "If Yanzi has enough wealth, then why didn't he give the envoy more food so that the envoy wouldn't think he's poor and report it to the Duke?"

I'm not Yanzi, so I can't know for sure, but knowing Yanzi to be the sage that he is, I'm sure he has good reasons. My guess is that he wanted to show a frugal example to the envoy. After all, Yanzi holds a very high leadership position in the country, so his role modeling has a wide influence.

If Yanzi lives extravagantly, the people below him would have an excuse to do the same, which means the government would be wasting tax dollars, and the citizens would become unhappy. If Yanzi lives conservatively, then when other people of lower rank hear of the news, they would feel ashamed if they live extravagantly. It's also possible that he wanted to indirectly hint at the Duke to live more conservatively.

Another factor is that the envoy came without prior notice. If Yanzi knew that the envoy was coming, he probably would've prepared enough food for both of them. Since the envoy arrived while he was in the middle of eating his meal, all he could do was invite the envoy to share his meal. If he didn't invite the envoy to stay for the meal, it would be rude. But if he invited the envoy to stay and wait while he prepared more food, that might take too much time, and perhaps the envoy didn't want to trouble Yanzi or stay so long.

Also, the envoy might not have had the intention to say that Yanzi is too poor, he might've just made an off-hand remark to the Duke, but the Duke interpreted his words as "Yanzi is too poor". Thus, we can see the difficulty of communication and why miscommunication is common.

The First Pause

In the first pause, when the Duke sent all those gifts and extra compensation to Yanzi, if I were in Yanzi's shoes, I would feel very grateful to have a ruler that cares so much for me, and of course, I need to do my duty to support him in governing the country and making the people happy. Therefore, I need to set a frugal example, hence why I would refuse the gifts.

But Yanzi's considerations were even more thorough. He explained three situations that may occur if he accepts the money, which would lead to him being either unfaithful, unrighteous, or unwise. I don't know if Yanzi had this intention, but it was a very opportunistic educational moment to help the Duke learn these three standards and use them to judge all his ministers. When the Duke heard Yanzi's response, he could see that Yanzi wasn't being selfish or trying to maintain a "pristine image", but that Yanzi was truly thinking for the benefit of the Duke and the whole country.

The Second Pause

In the second pause, when Duke Jing still insisted on giving the gifts, and even brought up a past hero, Guan Zhong, as an example, I was at a loss for how to respond to the Duke. If I say "Guan Zhong has many good points, but perhaps extravagance was one of his not-so-good points," it seems like I'm arrogant for criticizing a hero like Guan Zhong, and that might create opposition with those that admire him. Also, the fact that Duke Jing would bring up Guan Zhong's example makes me think that he also believes it's fine for a ruler and high ministers to live a bit more extravagantly, which means I have a duty to help him correct that improper view. But the big question is, how?

Yanzi's response was very admirable. He affirmed that Guan Zhong was a wise man, and he lowered himself by saying that he's a dull person, and that this is a rare instance where the wise man might be wrong and the dull person might be right. In this way, no one would slander Yanzi for being arrogant and thinking he's better than Guan Zhong, and no one would oppose Yanzi or feel pressured to live more frugally because Yanzi said he's a dull person.

Moreover, Duke Huan isn't trying to force Yanzi to accept his gifts. He wants Yanzi to accept it willingly. But hearing Yanzi's words, his innate conscience knew that Yanzi is morally right, and so he'd naturally yield, and he'd probably try to be a bit more frugal in his life too.

I think Yanzi's tactic here is one that we can all use in our lives if someone insists on something and brings up a respected person as an example. If we know it's not appropriate for us, we can say, "There's no doubt that they are wise and admirable, and I am dull, but there's a saying that even the wise, when they ponder a thousand times, might still be mistaken sometimes, and even the dull, when they ponder a thousand times, might be correct sometimes."

Reflecting on myself, recently, I was invited to do volunteer teaching on Sundays. I replied, "I appreciate the offer, but I'm currently too busy." Looking back, I could've replied more humbly by saying, "I really appreciate the offer and your trust in me, and I truly respect the organization and all the volunteer teachers. I think the work you do is very important and meaningful. Unfortunately, I lack the ability to handle all my current responsibilities well, so I'm really not eligible to think about taking on new responsibilities. But if in the future, I have all my responsibilities under control, and you still want me as a volunteer teacher, I'd be happy to join."

Conclusion

We will all encounter situations where others urge us to do something, but we feel it's not appropriate for us. When this happens, can we decline their good intentions graciously? From Yanzi's example, we can see that selflessness (having other people's best intentions in mind) and humility are two keys to a gracious decline.

Weekly Wisdom #358