.jpg)
Daily Stoic March Review — Awareness
- Alex Chen
- 2 hours ago
- 15 min read
The Daily Stoic is a book with 366 quotes from Stoic philosophers on how to live a good life. I had previously read this a couple years ago and benefited a lot from it, and I've decided to read it again this year. Every day, I read the quote, the explanation, and then journal my thoughts and reflections. At the end of each month, I review my reflections and summarize the month.
March's topic is awareness, and this article will summarize my March reflections. What do we need to have awareness about? Many things. In my reading, I noticed four broad categories:
Awareness of our ruling reason
Awareness of cultivation
Awareness of our influences
Awareness of other people's thinking and feelings
1: Awareness of Our Ruling Reason
March 1:
"An important place to begin in philosophy is this: a clear perception of one's own ruling principle."
—Epictetus
When it comes to cultivation, one of the first things we need to do is to get clear on what the stoics call our ruling reason, which I think of as our moral compass. This involves establishing clear standards of what's good versus bad, correct versus incorrect, proper versus improper, and beneficial versus harmful. If we don't have a compass, or our compass is wrong, then we will proceed in the wrong direction. That would be a tragedy.
Only when we have a clear moral compass can we begin cultivation; hence why Epictetus said this is the place to begin in philosophy. When we notice that our thoughts, speech, and actions are misaligned with our moral compass, we can then realign ourselves. Frequently self-reflection and self-inspection are key to this practice.
March 17:
"You are not your body and hair-style, but your capacity for choosing well. If your choices are beautiful, so too will you be."
—Epictetus
March 26:
"How does your ruling reason manage itself? For in that is the key to everything. Whatever else remains, be it in the power of your choice or not, is but a corpse and smoke."
—Marcus Aurelius
Epictetus emphasized that the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our choices. Our choices are determined by our ruling reason; hence why Marcus Aurelius emphasized that our ruling reason is key to everything. Our moral compass determines the way we think, which determines the way we act, which determines our life and results. It is the root and core of cultivation. Everything else is branches and leaves. A wise person cultivates from the roots, not from the branches.
So how do we establish an effective moral compass? One important way is to study the teachings of ancient philosophers that have been passed down for thousands of years. Time eliminates the teachings that are incorrect or not useful, leaving only what's eternally useful and relevant.
To give some examples, Stoicism teaches us:
Focus on what's in our control.
Be strict with yourself and tolerant towards others.
The purpose of life is to cultivate our moral character and serve the common good.
Wherever there is another person, there is an opportunity for kindness.
The obstacle is the way.
Amor Fati: Love everything that happens because anything can be good and useful.
Memento Mori: Life could end at any time. Cherish time and don't waste life.
These are all effective and proper standards for our moral compass.
My Practice:
I read the teachings of ancient philosophers every day to strengthen and develop my ruling reason. I also do daily self-reflection to see if my thoughts, speech, and actions aligned with my ruling reason. Third, I meditate every day to cultivate serenity. Whenever I have a big decision and feel indecisive, I don't rush. I meditate on the decision and make it from a calm and rational state of mind.
2: Awareness of Cultivation
March 24:
"Be aware of that today when you're going to work, going on a date, deciding whom to vote for, calling your parents in the evening, waving to your neighbor as you walk to your door, tipping the delivery man, saying goodnight to someone you love. All of that is philosophy."
—Ryan Holiday
March 31:
"You must put in place training and habits now to replace ignorance and ill discipline. Only then will you begin to behave and act differently. Only then will you stop seeking the impossible, the shortsighted, and the unnecessary."
—Ryan Holiday
One major difference between cultivators and common people is that cultivators have an awareness of cultivation and are disciplined about it, while common people have ignorance and ill discipline, so they just get dragged along by their emotions and habits.
In daily matters, cultivators discipline themselves to focus on what's in their control, on the long-term, and on what's important and necessary. Common people often try to control externals (which is impossible), think shortsighted, and waste time on unimportant things. These are all criteria with which we can judge if we are true cultivators.
March 18:
"Today I escaped from the crush of circumstances, or better put, I threw them out, for the crush wasn't from outside me but in my own assumptions."
—Marcus Aurelius
March 8:
"If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you'd be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled—have you no shame in that?"
—Epictetus
The core of stoic cultivation is to focus on what's in our control, which is our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. We have to recognize that external circumstances cannot force us to feel anything. Our feelings are determined by ourselves, by our assumptions and beliefs, by our ruling reason. Many people are unaware of this fact, and they blame other people and circumstances for their feelings. As Epictetus said, that's like handing over their most precious thing, their mind, over to others and inviting abuse.
What happens to us is outside our control. But how we respond is completely in our control, and it reflects our cultivation and determines our future. Once we stop blaming the outside for our feelings and start cultivating our own thoughts, then we are attending to the roots rather than the branches.
March 2:
"It is a great failing to see yourself as more than you are. It is equally damaging to value yourself at less than your true worth."
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do you understand yourself deeply? Can you clearly state your strengths and weaknesses? Do you know how you are honing your strengths and mending your weaknesses?
In order to cultivate ourselves, we need to be clear on both our strengths and weaknesses. We know our strengths so that we can hone them to better serve the common good. This also gives us a sense of purpose and value. We know our weaknesses so that we can remedy them and prevent creating trouble for ourselves and others. This also gives us a sense of humility and prevents arrogance and complacency.
How can we better understand ourselves? There are many ways. We could ask the people close to us what they think our strengths and weaknesses are. We could take personality tests. We could keep a diary.
March 14:
"Zeno would also say that nothing is more hostile to a firm grasp on knowledge than self-deception."
—Diogenes Laertius
My interpretation here is that "knowledge" refers to philosophical learning and cultivation. There is nothing more hostile to this than self-deception. Why? Because if a person deceives oneself, then self-cultivation is out of the question.
For example, if someone tells us, "You need to control your temper," and we immediately respond, "No I don't," or "My temper is much better than most people's," or "I've already improved a lot compared to before," or anything other than "thank you for your advice", then we are essentially denying their criticism. But they wouldn't have that criticism towards us for no reason. We really need to reflect, are we deceiving ourselves because our ego doesn't want to admit that we have a problem?
To give another example, perhaps deep down, we know we are a bit lazy and wasting time on unimportant things, but we can't overcome those temptations, and then we make excuses like, "It's just a little bit," or "It's no big deal," or "Other people do it too," or "I just forgot. I'll remember next time," then how would we ever muster the courage and motivation to change?
March 20:
"I may wish to be free from torture, but if the time comes for me to endure it, I'll wish to bear it courageously with bravery and honor. Wouldn't I prefer not to fall into war? But if war does befall me, I'll wish to carry nobly the wounds, starvation, and other necessities of war. Neither am I so crazy as to desire illness, but if I must suffer illness, I'll wish to do nothing rash or dishonorable. The point is not to wish for these adversities, but for the virtue that makes adversities bearable."
—Seneca
This is one of the most memorable quotes for me from the whole book. Most people wouldn't wish for great adversity to befall them, but the fact of the matter is, we cannot control whether or not adversity will knock on our door. In fact, if we observe around us, pretty much everyone faces adversity. Given this fact, rather than hoping adversity spares us, we really should focus on cultivating the virtues necessary to not only bear adversity but even thrive from them.
What kind of virtues are necessary? Seneca mentioned a few, including courage, honor, and rationality. The book also mentions other virtues such as endurance, patience, wisdom, compassion, humility, discipline, and serenity.
March 21:
"People seek retreats for themselves in the country, by the sea, or in the mountains. You are very much in the habit of yearning for those same things. But this is entirely the trait of a base person, when you can, at any moment, find such a retreat in yourself. For nowhere can you find a more peaceful and less busy retreat than in your own soul—especially if on close inspection it is filled with ease, which I say is nothing more than being well-ordered. Treat yourself often to this retreat and be renewed."
—Marcus Aurelius
Again, circumstances cannot dictate how we feel. We dictate how we feel. When we are aware of this power, we can access a serene retreat within ourselves. For example, we can meditate to calm our minds, or read classics to bring out proper thinking, or simply get a good night's sleep at home. Philosophers often access these inner retreats, while base people (of low virtues) only seek external retreats.
Just to be clear, external retreats are certainly helpful, and philosophers value them. Just don't think that they are absolutely necessary for a peaceful mind. After all, most people cannot spend all day every day relaxing in nature. We have to work and earn a living. We have to handle relationships in daily life. Thus, it's best for us to be able to find peace and tranquility in our own mind regardless of our outer environment.
My Practice:
I keep a merit fault journal where I record the daily matters that happen every day and how I cultivated virtues through them, as well as mistakes to improve. To understand myself better, I took many personality tests, such as the 16 Personalities, Four Tendencies, and DISC. These personality tests explained my strengths, weaknesses, values, and way of thinking. While these tests may not always seem 100% accurate, they are still great references for better self-understanding and for cultivation goals.
In terms of guarding against self-deception and dampening the ego, I've been training myself to accept criticism without explaining or arguing. I'm still not great at it even after years of practice, but I'm better than before. Even better would be proactively asking for criticism, which I can do a better job at.
In terms of enduring adversity, I've reflected on the triggers that cause me to get angry or upset, and I review the six ways of endurance every morning to help me prepare for challenges in advance. I also do short meditation sessions every morning and evening to maintain a serene state of mind throughout the day. However, my mind is still usually quite agitated, and I should meditate longer.
3: Awareness of Our Influences
March 9:
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
—Jim Rohn
"Consciously consider whom you allow into your life—not like some snobby elitist but like someone who is trying to cultivate the best life possible."
—Ryan Holiday
We all get influenced by the people and environment around us. The question is, are we aware of this influence? Are these influences good or bad? Have we consciously chosen what influences we want in our lives, whether they be friends, colleagues, or media? This is one of the most important and high-yielding decisions we can make in life.
March 10:
"Seneca tells us that we should each have our own Cato—a great and noble person we can allow into our minds and use to guide our actions, even when they're not actually present."
—Ryan Holiday
Examining whether or not our thoughts and actions align with virtues is the essence of cultivation. Having a role model whom we try to emulate boosts our cultivation. For example, when we encounter troubles in life, we could think, "What would Seneca do here? What would Marcus Aurelius think here?" This helps us to jump out of our habitual way of thinking and instead use stoic thinking.
Of course, the prerequisite is that you actually have a role model whom you admire, understand, and want to emulate. That requires us to study and learn about virtuous people, which can be from the past or present or both. The more we admire our role model, the stronger their empowerment towards us.
March 29:
"If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content, then, to be a philosopher in all that you do, and if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are and you will succeed."
—Epictetus
"We buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like."
—Fight Club
As social creatures, we all care about what others think of us. In proper amounts, this is good because we want to be a positive influence towards others; we don't want to create unhappiness or trouble for others. But in excess, this becomes harmful. We become irrational and do things we don't want to do to impress people that we don't need to impress.
Whose opinions should we actually care about? One person is ourselves. As Epictetus said, show yourself first that you are a true philosopher, someone who is virtuous and sets a good example with no regrets. True self-esteem doesn’t come from external validation, it comes from internal validation.
As for common people whose ruling reason has problems, we harmonize with them, but we don't necessarily seek their approval. Instead, we should care about the opinions of wise people who truly want the best for us. Think about how the stoic philosophers would behave in your situation and how they would advise you. Their advice would definitely be aligned with our innate conscience. When our conscience is at ease, we will gain peace. When our conscience is uneasy, we will feel a sense of guilt and restlessness deep down, causing our minds to be agitated all the time.
One of Confucius's most memorable quotes for me is,
"To not be upset when others don't understand, is this not the mark of an exemplary person?"
What Confucius calls an exemplary person is what the stoics call a philosopher. Having people not understand us and misunderstand us is a guarantee in life. Base people get upset about it. Cultivators use it as an opportunity to improve their virtues, whether that be patience, tolerance, compassion, humility, wisdom, or stability.
My Practice:
I have consciously selected who I spend time with and what content I put into my mind. I have also studied many past sages and philosophers, and I view them as my "inner board of directors" who help me make decisions. Since I read or listen to their teachings every day, it helps me to keep their teachings at the forefront of my mind.
If I had to pick who my Cato is, it would probably be Venerable Jing Kong. I listen to his lectures, and there is a book titled The Role Modeling of the Venerable Old Master, and this book has many stories of the master from his daily life. He only passed away recently, so he lived in the same time era as present people, making it easier for us to relate. I often listen to this book on repeat while doing chores or driving, so his stories and role modeling can more easily surface in my mind throughout daily life.
As for not caring too much about what common people think, I think I am OK on this front. But I still need to improve on not getting upset when people misunderstand me or falsely accuse me. I also need to have a stronger sense of righteousness to say what needs to be said for the greater good, even if it means upsetting some people in the short-run.
5: Awareness of Other People's Thinking and Feelings
March 12:
"Whenever someone has done wrong by you, immediately consider what notion of good or evil they had in doing it. For when you see that, you'll feel compassion, instead of astonishment or rage. For you may yourself have the same notions of good and evil, or similar ones, in which case you'll make an allowance for what they've done. But if you no longer hold the same notions, you'll be more readily gracious for their error."
—Marcus Aurelius
"Nobody thinks they're wrong, even when they are. They think they're right, they're just mistaken. Otherwise, they wouldn't think it anymore!"
—Ryan Holiday
"How much more tolerant and understanding would you be today if you could see the actions of other people as attempts to do the right thing?"
—Ryan Holiday
Philosophy and cultivation is not just for ourselves. It's for our relationships with the people around us. Thus, a core part of cultivation is compassion, empathy, and harmony towards others. When we get upset at others, it's because we think "they shouldn't do that." When we think like this, we are only thinking from our perspective, not from theirs.
When people do something "wrong" or "bad", there are two likely possibilities. First, they think it's right or OK to do, so they do it. In that case, if we want to calm down, we need to try to understand their perspective, not force our standards onto them. When we understand them, we'll think "Oh I get it now!" or "No wonder you would do that." If we don't have these thoughts yet, then we should probably spend some more effort to understand them.
Another possibility is that they know it's not right or not good, but they can't control their impulses and bad habits. They are suffering victims of their own bad habits, and they probably feel bad about it. We've all been there too. How would we like to be treated in such a situation? We probably wish to receive more sympathy and understanding rather than criticism and blame. In this way, we would feel motivated to improve rather than dejected and upset.
March 30:
"Hurry to your own ruling reason, to the reason of the Whole, and to your neighbor's. To your own mind to make it just; to the mind of the Whole to remember your place in it; and to your neighbor's mind to learn whether it's ignorant or of sound knowledge—while recognizing it's like yours."
—Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius talked about three matters. First, we need to make sure our ruling reason is just, proper, correct, and effective. As mentioned before, we develop such a ruling reason by studying the teachings of past philosophers and sages that have been passed down for thousands of years.
Second, we need to understand the ruling reason of the Whole, which is how most people think. That requires us to listen and observe more in our daily social interactions. When we do this, we'll notice that most people don't study philosophy, so their ideas of right and wrong, good and bad, proper and improper may not be correct or effective. In spite of this, as cultivators, we should harmonize with them, not create conflict with them. After all, we all are one big family, and only when the whole group is happy can the individuals within the group remain happy.
Third, we need to understand the ruling reason of our neighbor, which refers to the other person in question. The ruling principle of the Whole is the common way of thinking among the general public, but each person still has their individual differences. To harmonize with each person, we have to understand and accept each person's differences. After all, a garden with just one type of flower would hardly be a garden. Differences in harmony is what makes a beautiful world.
My Practice:
My personality is highly rational, so I often have conflict with people who are overly emotional and cannot justify themselves rationally. This is something I've been working on for many years now, and I'm slowly getting better at being more sensitive and caring towards people's feelings instead of always focusing on matters or logic. All of my reflections written in this section pertain to "enduring through compassion", which is one of the six methods of endurance that I mentioned before.
Conclusion
March was all about awareness: awareness of our ruling reason, awareness of cultivation, awareness of our influences, and awareness of other people's thinking and feelings.
As philosophers and cultivators, we need to establish our ruling reason to have correct standards of right versus wrong, good versus bad, proper versus improper, and beneficial versus harmful. We should also find role models of such standards to frequently consult and compare ourselves to. All of this requires us to study and reflect over a long period of time.
As for our influences, we should consciously choose which people we spend time with, what content we allow into our minds, and in what amount. We harmonize with the common people but only seek approval from ourselves and from the wise. When we have conflict, we can always try to understand them better, which will help us to calm down and harmonize with them.
Weekly Wisdom #388
Comments