唐太宗被认为是中国历史上最著名的皇帝之一。在他在位期间（大约1400年前），中国经历了史无前例的国力，经济和文化增长。因此，人们将其在位期间称之为中国历史上的黄金时期。唐太宗成功的重要因素是他的杰出的道德品质。他努力发展自身美德例如谦卑，正直和广阔的胸怀。 来源 唐太宗的谦卑 他诚恳地接受批评，这是对他成功起到至关作用的特质。甚至如果他被误会，他仍然会礼貌地接受批评并且认为这是他的问题。当别人问起他为什么不纠正批评者，他说道： “如果我让批评我的人难过，那么未来人们就不敢向我提出建议了。” 唐太宗同样令其身边的人积极对待他人的批评，他告诉他的大臣们： “如果你不能接受别人的批评，你怎么有资格批评别人呢？” 唐太宗并不完美，当他听到批评时也会发脾气，但是他一直改善自身。他有一位优秀的谏臣名为魏征。大家都知道魏征因为他总是向皇帝提出直率的建议。 魏征说：“我对于说你想听到的话不感兴趣，因为你想听到的话可能是错误的。我只想做一名道德高尚的大臣。那意味着只要某物某事是正确的，我就会告诉你，无论你是否想听。如果你所有的大臣都能如此，那么你犯错误的几率会越来越小，国家会变得更加繁荣昌盛。” 有一次，唐太宗从内阁会议回来，生气地告诉皇后：“早晚我会杀了魏征！他总是让我在公众面前丢面子！” 来源 听到这，皇后说，“一个人只有在皇帝是明智和开明的时候才会展现他最诚实的观点。恭喜您拥有如此一位不怕反驳您的大臣，因为这是对您开明的最好证明！” 唐太宗立马冷静了下来，且想到了魏征的正直和高尚品德。他说：“很多人认为他太直白，但是我认为这正是他的魅力。” 当魏征过世时，唐太宗在他的墓前流泪，他说了如下著名的话语： “以铜作为镜子，可以端正衣冠；以历史作为镜子，可以知道国家的兴亡；以人作为镜子，可以知道自己的得失。现在魏征去世了，我失去了一面很好的镜子啊!” 唐太宗的诚信 有一次，一个大臣告诉他：“皇上，您的大臣中有些奸臣，他们只想得到你的好处。” 唐太宗回应道：“不应该吧。我只用忠臣” 大臣说：“是的。我有一个好办法能让你找到那些奸臣。当下次上朝的时候，您假装很生气并且说一些无理的话，然后看谁会谏言。那些告诉您您说的话是不合理的大臣都是忠臣，他们拥有美德且忠心耿耿。那些同意您意见的并且试图取悦你的大臣，他们都是奸臣。” 听完这个建议后，唐太宗回复道，“君王与大臣的关系就如湖和河一样，湖是源头，而河来源于源头。如果源头是污染的话，那河干净是不可能的。尽管你的建议很聪明，但我认为我应该先培养我自身的正直和诚信。” 唐太宗建立了正直和诚信的品质，他的大臣们遂学习他。 唐太宗的广阔胸怀与仁爱 唐太宗对所有的文化和地域都展现出了极大的包容和兴趣。他没有歧视其他国家和文化，反而欢迎它们。在他的在位期间，中国是世界上最强的国家，可是唐太宗没有去侵略任何其他的国家，反而爱护他们，所以常有外国大使来到首都向唐太宗学习。有一次，甚至有七名翻译官帮助唐太宗和外国大使之间的交流！唐太宗同样慷慨地给予大使们礼物，比他们带来的还要多，这样情义就越来越厚。 由于他的好客，数以千计的来自国外的商人和艺术家居住在中国的首都和别的大城市。这些人想带来他们的宗教和文化到中国，唐太宗允许了他们。此外，唐太宗允许他们根据他们的文化设计建造寺庙，或是教堂，他甚至向这些建筑捐款。 来源 这个时期，来自全世界的宗教文化开始在中国发展，包括佛教，琐罗亚斯德教、摩尼教、伊斯兰教和景教。很多国际学生来中国学习后把中国的教材带回了自己的国家。唐太宗广阔的胸怀是在他在位期间文化和国际关系良好发展的关键。 唐太宗对儿子的教导 有一次，唐太宗看到他的儿子懒洋洋地躺在树荫里。他叫醒了儿子并告诉他： “一棵树不会完美地笔直地生长，但是一个木匠可以使它变得笔直用来支撑一个建筑。一个从小在宫殿中成长的君主不会对所有事情都了如指掌，同样也会犯错误。只有通过谦虚地听从大臣的建议来纠正自己，从而成为一个合格的君主。” 在认真听从父亲的教导后，唐太宗的儿子取得了更高的成就。 批注 这是我最喜欢的唐太宗的名言： 我敬佩他能够克服自己的傲慢和脾气来变成如此一位谦虚的人。我希望我能够像他学习。 唐太宗也表演了《弟子规》许多的教诲： 如果我们能学习唐太宗的榜样，那我们也一定能优秀，成功，和幸福！

Have you ever made a decision only to quickly regret it later? What happened? It's likely you were influenced by a psychological bias. All of us have them, and this article will explain five cognitive biases that you definitely need to be aware of to avoid making bad decisions: Confirmation Bias Negativity Bias Projection Bias Sunk Cost Bias Short-Term Bias Without further ado, let's get into it! 1: Confirmation Bias Confirmation Bias is when we only acknowledge information and people who confirm our existing beliefs. For example, people who support a particular political party will pay attention to information that agrees with them and ignore information that disagrees. Another example is if we think someone is [nice, mean, fill-in-the-blank], we will actively seek to prove that. Clearly, confirmation bias is very harmful because we will make misinformed decisions based on incomplete facts. Image Source The solution to confirmation bias is to base your confidence on being open-minded rather than on being right. In his book, Principles, Ray Dalio talks at length about how to be more open-minded. If we are open-minded and we hear an opposing opinion, we would try to learn more about their reasoning. We don't have to agree, but our goal is to learn the truth so that we can make the best judgment. That is proper confidence based on learning, not blind confidence based on ego. 2: Negativity Bias Negativity Bias is when we naturally pay more attention to negative news and pay little attention to positive news. For example, if the news said the stock market went down, people would probably all be talking about it. But if the news said the stock market is doing well, not many people would be talking about it, and many people would take it for granted. Another example is people spending a lot of time reading negative posts on social media but little time reading positive posts. Obviously, intaking negativity will make our minds more negative. Image Source The solution to negativity bias is simply to be aware of it, and then choose our content feed to be focused on positivity instead of negativity. Just like how we want to choose our foods carefully for our health, we should choose content carefully for our mind. 3: Projection Bias Projection bias is when we think that other people think like us, and we reflect our beliefs and standards onto others. For example, we think someone should be as [loyal, caring, conscientious, etc.] as we are, and then they “let us down”. The reality is, everyone comes from a different background and upbringing, everyone has different ways of thinking, and no one can read your mind. Therefore, the solution is clearly communicate your perspective and expectations early in a relationship to prevent misunderstandings. Image Source For example, if you want the other person to arrive 5 minutes early to dates, or to praise you more, or help with a chore, or whatever it is, you have to ask! The reason they don't it is either because they don't know you want it, or they know you want it but they don't think it is a big deal because they don't value it. If they don't value it like you do, then you need to have open communication about why that thing is important to you. We can't expect others to understand us if we don't communicate clearly. 4: Sunk Cost Bias Sunk cost bias is when you don’t want to abandon a bad investment (of money or time) simply because you invested in it. For example, some people start a university degree only to realize it doesn't suit them, but they keep on going because they don't want to waste their past investment in time and money. Another example is finishing a book or TV series that you are not interested in just because you already started it. The sunk cost cannot be recovered no matter what, so we shouldn't base our decision on it. Image Source The solution is to ask yourself, "If I started fresh and new today, what would my choice be?" To continue the above examples, if you were to choose a university degree today based on all the information you know, which major would you choose? If you were to choose a book to read today, any book you want, which book would it be? This is how we let go of the sunk cost. 5: Short-Term Gratification Bias Short-term gratification bias is when people struggle to put off small, short-term pleasure for big long-term rewards. Being able to put off short-term pleasure for long-term gains is extremely important, as demonstrated by The Marshmallow Experiment. In The Marshmallow Experiment, researchers sat a 4-5 year old kid in a room with a table that had a marshmallow on it. The researcher told the kid that he would be back later, and if the kid did not eat the marshmallow, she would get another marshmallow later. But if the kid ate the marshmallow, then she would not get a second marshmallow. The researcher then left the room for 15 minutes. Of course, some kids ate it right away, some jumped up and down and gave in after a few minutes, while some were able to wait the full 15 minutes. Image Source The researchers then followed these children for over 40 years to compare the success of those who ate the marshmallows right away versus those who could wait. They found that those who could delay gratification did better on everything measure, such as higher SAT scores, lower levels of drug abuse, less obesity, and better social skills. So what's the solution to short-term gratification bias? We should always ask ourselves, "How do I want to feel tomorrow? A week later? A month later? A year later?" and "What is the best choice in the long-term rather than the short-term?" To be clear, relaxation and enjoyment are not necessarily bad, but excessively indulging in them and avoiding responsibility is bad. Therefore, everything we do needs to be to an appropriate degree. My Experience I've always been interested in psychology, so researching these five biases was very fun for me. Of course, researching is not enough, I need to actually use them in my life! 1: Confirmation Bias I've spent the past couple of years trying to practice humility and open-mindedness in my daily interactions by accepting people's criticisms and complaints rather than defending myself. It was not easy at first, but I got better over time because I reflected on it every day in a journal. 2: Negativity Bias When people react strongly to negative news, I try not to get too emotional about it because being too emotional doesn't help. I also filtered my social media influences by unfollowing negative content and following positive content instead. 3: Projection Bias When people don't behave as I want, I first ask myself, "Did I communicate clearly?" If not, then I try to communicate again in a more clear way. If I did indeed communicate clearly, then I go and ask them why they behaved that way. If their reasoning makes sense to me, I obviously won't be upset. If their reasoning is illogical, then I remind myself that getting upset or frustrated helps nobody, and that everyone is just seeking to be accepted and valued for who they are, faults and all, so this is a chance for me to practice The Golden Rule. 4: Sunk Cost Bias In the past, I had to make a decision between continuing a business job that I was not interested in or switching into teaching, which I might be interested in. I knew about sunk cost bias back then, and I didn't want to fall prey to it. However, all the people around me were pressuring me very hard by saying how I already started this job, and my education is in this field. Although I wanted to base my decision on future happiness rather than past sunk cost, it was emotionally difficult. A good solution I found was to take an adjacent step rather than jumping the ship altogether. So I found an opportunity to teach business English to university students in Shanghai. I learned from that job that I really do enjoy teaching, so then I took another adjacent step to teach high school business back in Toronto. This way, I could move forward in a better direction while helping the people around me feel more at ease. 5: Short-Term Gratification Bias To help myself think longer term, I created a list of values that I care about, such as family, kindness, learning, and teaching. When I die, I hope that people would notice these values reflected in my everyday behavior. Every night, I reflect on whether or not I've acted according to my values. This helps me link my long-term goals to my daily life. I've also found that stress and unhappiness are usually triggers for seeking short-term pleasure. For example, I would eat some chocolate after I had an argument with someone, or I would play some games to distract myself from unhappiness. But after I learned to become more stress resistant, my desires for short-term pleasures decreased significantly. Summary Ray Dalio said, "The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your decisions." Understanding some basic psychology is a great way to make better decisions. This article talked about five major cognitive biases: Which biases do you stumble on? How can you overcome them? Weekly Wisdom Newsletter #178 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about the four generations of time management, and how to use the best one: the fourth generation. Basically, the first generation was the checklist. It listed to-dos with no sense of priority or timing. The second generation was calendars; it attempted to plan events ahead of time. The third generation added the idea of prioritization, goal setting, and daily planning. The third generation sounds great, and it’s what most people use nowadays. But the problem people encounter is that “efficient scheduling” often goes against our control over time. People get so caught up over productivity that they don’t enjoy life. The fourth generation doesn’t focus on things and time. Instead, it focuses on values. Values are important areas of our lives, such as relationships and health. By being focused on values, we get the right things done first rather than just getting things done as efficiently as possible. Image Source Let’s look at a core tool in fourth-generation time-management: The Importance-Urgency Quadrant. Some people spend 90% of their time dealing with emergencies in Quadrant 1; their only relief is escaping into Quadrant 4. Some other people spend most of their time in Quadrant 3, reacting to interruptions and distractions, thinking that those activities are important. But the reality is, most of those activities are just responding to others’ demands. Effective people prioritize activities in Quadrant 2, which prevents Quadrant 1 emergencies from arising. For example, they take care of their health to prevent illness, and they nurture their relationships to prevent distancing. Covey says we should avoid anything that’s not important, that is Quadrant 3 and Quadrant 4 activities. I want to clarify that some people may use games and TV shows to relax or as family time, in which case you can actually view it as Quadrant 2. But if those activities are used as an escape from responsibility or priorities, then they should be postponed until after your priorities are addressed. I also think we should have protocols in place for interruptions and distractions so that they don’t hinder us. For example, my protocol for avoiding interruptions when doing focused work is to turn my phone on silent and faced down (or airplane mode faced up). I also don’t send work emails after work hours; instead, I schedule the reply for the next morning using an email tool called boomerang. If you want additional guidance to figuring out your Quadrant 2 priorities, ask yourself these two questions: What one thing could you do in your personal life that, if you did on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your life? Repeat question 1 for your professional life. Adding Quadrant 2 to a weekly calendar creates a result that looks like this: Notice on the left side that there’s categories for each Quadrant 2 area, and each of those areas have two to three tasks. Then notice how those tasks have been scheduled into the week’s calendar first before anything from other quadrants. I also color-coded the different priorities so that I can see at a glance if I indeed met all my priorities in that week. Finally, notice how much space is left. Scheduling your Quadrant 2 activities first gives you freedom and flexibility to handle unanticipated events, to shift appointments if needed, and to enjoy spontaneous experiences. Before using this tool, I always felt so busy and but also like I should be doing more. After using this tool, I became disciplined to really figure out the important priorities in my life, then to actually put them on the calendar. That way, at the end of each day and week, I can simply look at my calendar and ask myself, "Did I do those things?" If yes, then I had a productive day. If no, then I reschedule what I didn't do. It's helped me feel a lot more focused, productive, and peaceful. I made a template using both Excel and Word for the calendar picture above. If you want to try it out, you can download the templates here. Excel: Word:

Would you like some more good luck in your life? Image Source The Duke of Ai did, and he went to Confucius to ask for advice. I'm not a superstitious person, but I really appreciate how logically Confucius explained five unlucky omens. By flipping these five omens around, we get five lucky omens. Below is the story: One time, the Duke of Ai asked Confucius, "I heard it is unlucky to build an additional house to the east of my existing house. Is this believable?" Confucius replied, "There are five unlucky omens, but building an additional house to the east is not one of them. Harming others for one's own gain is bad luck for oneself. Neglecting elders and only caring about children is bad luck for the family. Using incapable people instead of virtuous and wise people in government is bad luck for the country. Elders not teaching youth and youth not learning from elders is bad luck for society. Virtuous sages going into hiding while ignorant and unvirtuous people grab power is bad luck for the world. In summary, those are the five types of bad luck, and building an additional house to the east is not one of them." (Source: The School Sayings of Confucius) Commentary As someone who values logic, I found this dialogue to be quite entertaining and enlightening at the same time! I also want to take a moment to just appreciate how great of a teacher Confucius is. He didn't just say, "No, building an additional house to the east is not unlucky. Stop being so superstitious." Instead, he seized the opportunity to explain to this Duke (essentially the king of a small country) how to bring good fortune to himself, his family, his country, and the world. That shows how broad-minded and benevolent Confucius is and how he is always trying to make the world a better place. 1: Harming others for one's own gain is bad luck for oneself. An obvious example is unethical businesses who hurt their customers for quick short-term gain. In the long-term, the public finds out, and then the business will crash and burn. On a more personal level, if we only care about our own benefit and ignore other people's needs, or even hurt them, then obviously no one will like us. If that happens, we will have lots of conflict in relationships and problems in our work, which is the manifestation of bad luck. We naturally love people who are loving to us, and we naturally respect people who are respectful towards us. That's why Mencius said: Therefore, we should always aim to treat others with love and respect. 2: Neglecting elders and only caring about children is bad luck for the family. James Baldwin once said, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” If the parents neglect the grandparents, then the children will neglect the parents when they become old. They learned this disrespectful behavior from the parents! Moreover, if the parents spoil the children and treat them like royalty, then the children will become entitled, lazy, and incompetent. They will become a big burden and pain to the family when they get older. Therefore, parents need to set a good role model by taking good care of the grandparents. 3: Using incapable people instead of virtuous and wise people in government is bad luck for the country. Another time, the Duke of Ai asked Confucius about how to govern a country. He was probably expecting an answer related to governing systems and policies, but instead, Confucius replied: Confucius further explained to Duke Ai that the key to attracting capable people is to first be a virtuous and capable person himself. Just like how children learn from their parents' example, followers will learn from a leader's example. Therefore, leaders need to cultivate a virtuous character to attract and employ good people. 4: Elders not teaching youth and youth not learning from elders is bad luck for society. The term "elder" here does not necessarily mean someone who is older in age, but rather someone who has more wisdom and can give us good advice. The youth are the future of our society, so if elders do not teach them to be good, considerate, and virtuous people, then the future of society will be full of problems and conflict. The same is true if elders try to teach, but the youth don't listen. Currently, "developed countries" have high divorce rates and youth crime rates, which is quite ironic. One major cause is the elders not emphasizing ethics education. On the contrary, political leaders and the media teach bad morality, such as selfishness instead of consideration, arrogance instead of humility, indulgence instead of discipline, and extravagance instead of frugality. When we see this situation, it's no surprise that society is becoming more unstable. Hence, teaching our future youths good ethics and virtues is arguably the most important thing for society, and the first step is for ourselves to learn and role model good moral character. 5: Virtuous sages going into hiding while ignorant and unvirtuous people grab power is bad luck for the world. Virtuous sages are people of great wisdom and compassion who teach countless numbers of people around the world. Examples famous sages in history include Confucius, Lao Tzu, the Buddha, Jesus, Socrates, and Epictetus. Their teachings have been passed down for thousands of years across the globe. The core of all sage teachings is love and being a good person. Hence, without sages and their teachings in our world, humankind would have a lot more conflict and disasters. Since humans are also so smart, if they advance their technology and power to great amounts but lack morality, they could destroy the world. In fact, that is already happening given how humankind is polluting the world, and so many countries have enough nuclear bombs to destroy the globe. Hence, we should do our best to promote sage teachings, first by learning and role modeling them ourselves, then by teaching others. My Experience We can flip the five bad omens into five good omens: Helping others selflessly Loving and respecting elders Employing capable and virtuous people Elders teaching youth and youth learning eagerly Letting sages and their teachings flourish 1: Helping Others Selflessly Before I learned about Confucianism, my life was always about what I wanted and resolving my problems; me me me. Being only self-centered is actually quite stressful! Later, I learned that helping and serving others is the key to long-lasting happiness, so now I focus on that. For example, recently I've been pretty busy, but there were some people that could really use my help. In the past, I would've thought I don't have time for that, I have too much stuff I need to do for myself. But now I value myself on how much I help others, so I found ways to help all of those people. Since I sincerely wanted to help them, I was able to figure out a way to help each of them to the best of my ability without compromising my own health and needs. If I wasn't sincere about it, I wouldn't be able to figure out such a solution. After helping them all, I feel very joyous and learned a lot too. I vividly experienced how helping others is great luck for oneself. I also remember when I first started treating others much better, they still didn't treat me well. I realized that it was a relationship debt that I hadn't fully paid off. Because I often criticized them and made them feel bad in the past, they still react negatively to me even though I'm trying to be positive now. But after I persisted for a while, they realized I had changed, and they changed to be more positive towards me too. 2: Loving and respecting elders As a high school teacher, I've noticed that the students who really respect teachers always have parents that respect teachers and set a good role model. But the students who don't respect teachers usually have parents that either have a lot of conflict with their children, which role models arrogance and immaturity, or that neglect their children due to being too busy with work. In order to teach my students to respect and appreciate elders, I end every class with everyone reciting some thank-you lines, which includes thanking our parents, teachers, and principal. Once in a while, I'll mention how hard our elders work to give us a good life and allow us to attend this great school. 3: Employing capable and virtuous people Actually, this applies to any leader-follower relationship, not just government. In the past, I asked for permission from my principal to hire a student assistant to help me develop online courses. When I was choosing the assistant, I knew to focus on their respect and responsibility first and foremost as opposed to "resume things" like their grade or past experience. Skill and ability only matter AFTER the person has good virtues. 4: Elders teaching youth and youth learning eagerly The primary reason I became a teacher is to teach the future generation to be better off than myself, and to do that, I need to proactively learn from the elder generations, which is what I currently spend my free time doing. 5: Letting sages and their teachings flourish The best way to protect these teachings is to practice them in real life, get good results, and then share my own results with others. This article itself is an example. I am promoting Confucius's teachings, while also sharing my own experience, which will hopefully inspire you to also try his teachings, which then lets these good teachings spread throughout the world. Conclusion In conclusion, building an additional house to the east is not unlucky. Just kidding, the real conclusion is that you should reflect on whether or not you have lucky or unlucky omens in your life! Grow the lucky omens and curb the unlucky ones! Weekly Wisdom Newsletter #177 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

你快乐吗？你是否拥有能够陪伴你一整天的长久的幸福，或是转瞬即逝的快乐？ 当代社会教育人们追求短暂的快乐与刺激，比如使用社交媒体，吃油炸食物，玩电子游戏，看电视或是购物。结果，人们对这些刺激的渴望程度犹如毒瘾一般，而渴望就是痛苦。最终当我们做这些事时，我们得到的是一个短暂的快乐，但之后，我们会情绪低落，那将更痛苦。所以什么是真正的快乐和幸福？ 真正的幸福是长久的，而长久的幸福来源于做一个好人。当我们是一个好人时，每个人都会乐于与我们交往，所以我们所有的关系都是幸福的。当我们是一个好人时，我们释放积极的能量使世界变得更美好。那么我们如何才能成为一个好人并且拥有真正的幸福呢？我们需要建立一个高尚的品格。老祖宗留给我们非常好的道德教育，而《弟子规》是其中的精华。 什么是弟子规？ 如果你之前没有听说过《弟子规》，你也必然听说过孔子。孔子可能是古代中国最知名且最有智慧的老师，他的教学已经被传承了2500年！《弟子规》摘录了孔子教学中最本质的部分，并制作成一个甚至孩子都能读懂的简单易懂的书。那就像试图向一个小孩子解释航天学。只有一个卓越的老师能做到它，所以《弟子规》是一本了不起的书。 简而言之，《弟子规》教导我们五种美德： 孝顺：做好儿女 谨慎：认真对待所有的任务和事情，事无巨细 信用：人际关系的基础 仁爱：无条件地爱所有人 谦虚：总是寻求提高自己的美德并感激批评 想一想： 如果你不能和爱你的父母和睦相处，你怎么能跟别人和睦相处呢？如果你的人际关系里充满了冲突，你会幸福吗？ 如果你不够谨慎并经常犯错误，你会快乐或成功吗？ 如果人们不信任你，总是回避你，你还会快乐或成功吗？ 如果你不善待别人，别人会善待你吗？ 如果你害怕批评而不尝试改进自己，你的生活能变得更好或更快乐吗？ 从这些问题中，我们可以体会到拥有美德不仅仅是获得幸福的前提，更是获得成功的关键。 我们的生活由行为决定。 我们的行为由思想决定。 我们的思想由性格决定。 《弟子规》在中国具有很强的影响力。2004年，深圳的一家大公司在报纸上刊登了一则关于高级经理的招聘启事，年薪18万人民币，而职位要求中的其中一项是会背诵《弟子规》。 这个招聘鞭策了很多父母和老师们去学习《弟子规》，使得他们意识到德行的重要性，并且领导们需要做出表率。 此书共有七章，这篇文章将总结这些章节。 入则孝 (孝顺) 出则弟 (孝顺) 谨 (谨慎) 信 (信用，谦虚) 泛爱众 (仁爱) 亲仁 (谨慎) 余力学文 (谦虚) 第一章：入则孝 孝道意味着做一个好孩子。另一个解释孝道的方法是感恩对自己最有恩德的人，一般来说是父母。 来源 谚语说： “百善孝为先。” 为什么？我们用一个简单的例子来解释。许多慈善组织帮饥饿中的穷人们，但是奇怪的是，捐赠的越多，这些人越不感恩，甚至觉得获得这些是应该的。他们问一个老和尚为什么会这样，老和尚回复道：“如果他们连父母都不感恩，他们还感恩你？” 我们可以进一步扩展这个道理。如果一个孩子很懒惰，在家也不回应父母，那他在工作时能变得勤恳吗？如果一个孩子经常和父母争吵，他和别人会和睦相处吗？如果一个和你约会的人欺骗了他的父母，你能相信他以后不会骗你吗？ 我们是因为父母才能生存在这个世界上。当我们是无能的婴儿时，他们不厌其烦地照料我们。多年来父母给予我们无私的爱，所以我们自然而然应当回馈父母无私的爱。如果一个人不能尊敬且给予父母无私的爱，那么他无法对别人有真爱或真恭敬。他们的爱和尊敬都是自私的：如果对你好能带给他们利益，他们就对你好；如果对你好对他没有利益，他就不理你，甚至如果对你不好能给他们利益，他们就那样做。这都取决于他们如何对待父母！ 现在我们懂得孝道的重要性，一起看看一些本章节的教导吧： 父母呼，应勿缓；父母命，行勿懒。 父母教，须敬听；父母责，须顺承。 亲所好，力为具；亲所恶，谨为去。 身有伤，贻亲忧；德有伤，贻亲羞。 亲有过，谏使更；怡吾色，柔吾声。 谏不入，悦复谏；号泣随，挞无怨。 假设自己是那个深圳大公司的CEO。我们当然希望员工能够： 及时回复消息，完成任务 尊重地倾听教诲 为公司提供最好的服务，避免负面影响 给公司增光，不给公司丢脸 有礼貌地向上司提建议 举一反三，一个老师希望学生也能这样做，一个人希望他们的丈夫或妻子也能这样做，一个国家领导人希望他的国民也能这样做，任何一个领导都希望他们的追随者能这样。所有的美德都起源于孝，与孩子如何对待父母密切相关。 第二章：出则弟 悌道意味做好兄弟姐妹。悌道是入则孝的延申，因为做一个好兄弟姐妹就是做一个好孩子的其中一部分。我们对待兄弟姐妹的方式和如何对待身边的人的方式非常相似，比如同学和同事。父母希望所有的孩子能相互扶持，而领导者希望追随者能相互帮助。 来源 我们来看看来自第二章中的一些教导： 兄道友，弟道恭；兄弟睦，孝在中。 财物轻，怨何生；言语忍，忿自泯。 或饮食，或坐走，长者先，幼者后。 称尊长，勿呼名；对尊长，勿见能。 事诸父，如事父；事诸兄，如事兄。 任何年龄比我们大或是地位比我们高的人都应该视为长者，任何年轻或是地位更低的人应视为晚辈。长辈照顾晚辈，晚辈尊敬长辈都是很自然的事情，所以这条教导符合逻辑和人类自然情感。让长辈先行并且礼貌称呼他们如“叔叔”或“阿姨”是我们表现尊敬的方式。 看轻物质意味着更看重人际关系和感情。比如说，有时兄弟姐妹会去法院为了分割父母的财产。当兄弟姐妹为了物质而如此争论时，会令父母非常难过并让家庭蒙羞。 如果每个人能像家人一样彼此相爱，犹如孝子敬爱父母一样，那么想象一下这个世界会变得多么和平和幸福！ 第三章：谨 当我们养成了孝悌之后，就养成了一颗对人充满爱和尊敬的心。谨慎意味着对待任务和事物都尊敬和谨慎。我们总是为别人做事情（包括我们自己），所以谨慎对待任务是尊敬别人（或自己）的延申。 来源 让我们看一下来自第三章中的一些教导： 朝起早，夜眠迟；老易至，惜此时。 衣贵洁，不贵华；上循分，下称家。 对饮食，勿拣择，食适可，勿过则。 宽转弯，勿触棱；执虚器，如执盈。 事勿忙，忙多错；勿畏难，勿轻略。 斗闹场，绝勿近；邪僻事，绝勿问。 从这一章中，我们可以看出我们对时间（1），衣着（2），食物（3），身体（4），事情（4和5）和环境（6）都要谨慎。 老子说过： “天下大事必作于细。” 我们如何做小事就是如何做大事。 第四章：信 孔子说过： 人而无信，不知其可也。 信用是人际关系的基础，而人际关系是我们相互依存的社会的基础。如果一个人缺少信用，没有人会想和他交流，做朋友，雇佣或是做生意。这个人会在生活中处处碰壁，也不会拥有一个幸福的人生。 来源 很多人错误地认为信用只是讲真话而已。如果一个人说出很粗心且轻率的话，还说他只是坦白说话，你会想跟他交往吗？所以信包括 信义 正直 谦卑 谨慎 1：信义 信义是为他人着想。正如罗斯福所说： “人不在乎你知道多少，直到他们知道你有多在乎他。” 比如，你希望你的医生给你一种对你最好的药，而不是因为医生可以通过向你售卖那种药来赚额外的钱。只有当我们相信别人是真的为我们好时才会相信他们，而不是他们自私的意图。那正是为什么“入则孝”篇教给我们的：“亲所好，力为具。亲所恶，谨为去。” 2：正直 正直是无论事情大小，是否有人在看，都做出符合道义的决定。比如，如果有人违背了一个小的承诺，你能相信他会遵守大的承诺吗？如果你看到一个人在没人监督的情况下粗心而懒惰，你会愿意交给他更重要的工作吗？ 正直也包括言行一致。例如，如果你对某人说“我爱你”，你的日常举止和时间用处能证明你的话吗？如果我们说一套做一套，别人怎么会相信我们呢？行为胜于言语。 3：谦虚 人无完人，我们都会犯错误。如果一个人傲慢自大，不听从批评，且不承认错误，你怎么能把重要的任务交给他？谦虚包括承认自己的不足，对自己的错误负责任，然后发奋改正自己。 4：谨慎 前章说到做所有的事情都应该小心，特别是小事情。毕竟，我们不会相信那些在小事情中经常犯错的人。 信在日常生活的例子 现在我们知道了信用的重要性，来看一下第四章的一些例子吧： 凡出言，信为先；诈与妄，奚可焉。 事非宜，勿轻诺；苟轻诺，进退错。 彼说长，此说短，不关己，莫闲管。 若衣服，若饮食，不如人，勿生戚。 见人善，即思齐，纵去远，以渐跻。 见人恶，即内省，有则改，无加警。 闻过怒，闻誉乐，损友来，益友却。 过能改，归于无；倘掩饰，增一辜。 从中我们可以看出信要求我们拥有诚信（#1，#3），正直（#2，#7），谦卑（#4#5#6）和谨慎（#2，#4）。 第五章：泛爱众 培养了信之后，我们就可以在社会中立足了，会在人际关系中得到信任。而本章会提高标准：仁爱是无条件地爱所有的人，在人际关系中专注于付出，帮助他人提升他们的品德。世界上的圣人与英雄都显示充满的仁爱在他们的笑容里。 大多数人的爱是有条件的：如果我喜欢你，我会善待你；如果你能让我得到利益，我也会善待你。如果你让我不开心，我不会善待你。有条件的爱是建立在自私的基础上的。仁爱是无条件的爱，无论他人是否善待我们。这就像一个母亲给予她的孩子无私的爱。 那些对别人不好的人往往在童年没有得到足够的爱，所以如果我们想要令他们变得友善，我们需要用爱心来回应他们的自我保护之心。爱生爱，善生善。如果我们仅对善待我们的人好，那仅仅是有条件的爱。如果我们能对那些对我们刻薄的人好，那就是真正的美德。 让我们看一下来自第五章中的教导： 凡是人，皆须爱；天同覆，地同载。 己有能，勿自私；人所能，勿轻訾。 凡取与，贵分晓，与宜多，取宜少。 道人善，即是善；人知之，愈思勉。 将加人，先问己，己不欲，即速已。 恩欲报，怨欲忘；报怨短，报恩长。 势服人，心不然，理服人，方无言。 由此可见，这一章告诉我们要拓宽胸怀，爱所有的人，用希望别人对待我们的方式对待别人，注意他人的感受，赞美别人，回报恩德。当我们的心充满爱，我们就会拥有幸福和快乐的生活！ 第六章：亲仁 俗话说： 近朱者赤，近墨者黑。 来源 人受周围的人和环境很大的影响。因此，如果我们想要拥有一个幸福的人生和建立一个高尚的品德，我们需要亲近好的影响，避免负面影响。这不仅仅意味着选择好的朋友，更需要选择正确的书，电影来观看，关注一些优秀的社交媒体账号。我们不想坏东西侵蚀我们的身体，所以我们自然不想坏的事物影响我们的思想。 这一章告诉我们 同是人，类不齐；流俗众，仁者希。 果仁者，人多畏；言不讳，色不媚。 能亲仁，无限好；德日进，过日少。 不亲仁，无限害；小人进，百事坏。 先前提到过，我们的人生由行为决定，我们的行为由思想决定，而思想由品格决定。这就是为什么好的影响可以带来无限的益处，而坏的影响带来无限的伤害。 我们可以使用《弟子规》中提到的美德作为标准来选择正面影响和负面影响。如果一个人的言行符合孝悌，谨慎，信用，仁爱，和谦卑，那么我们可以学习它们。如果他们的言行自私，傲慢，嗔恨，欺骗，虚伪，浪费和非礼，那么我们应该远离他们。 第七章：余力学文 这一章告诉我们在完成必要的工作和责任后，我们应当适用剩余的时间和精力去读一些善的书籍。此处，“余力学文”意为良好的书。这一章也告诉我们一个学习态度需要令自己变得尊敬，谨慎和谦虚。 来源 让我们来看一些来自本章节的教导： 不力行，但学文，长浮华，成何人。 但力行，不学文，任己见，昧理真。 宽为限，紧用功，工夫到，滞塞通。 心有疑，随札记，就人问，求确义。 房室清，墙壁净；几案洁，笔砚正。 勿自暴，勿自弃；圣与贤，可驯致。 学以致用是很重要的，因为如果你不这样做，你不会得到任何益处，而且你的理解可能是错的。尤其学习美德，如果我们仅仅知道美德的理论，却不改进自己，那只会增长傲慢，将来会有祸害。当我们在学习知识，比如数学，科学，社会科学，历史，等，我们要一直想自己如何才能在未来工作中运用这些知识来帮助社会，报父母和老师之恩，报社会之恩。 至于学习过程，我们需要做到勤奋而耐心。我们不能轻易放弃。学习就像烧沸水。从0-99度，水看上去很平静，但是达到100度时，气泡开始涌现。学习也是一样的，所以我们不能半途而废。尽管学习有时非常困难，我们也不能对自己太苛刻或放弃。 孔子在《中庸》说过： ”人一能之，己百之；人十能之，己千之。果能此道矣，虽愚必明，虽柔必强。“ 的确，伴随着热情和勤奋，我们终究可以成为品德高尚的人！ 我的经验分享 我第一次读《弟子规》时是大学毕业的时候，妈妈把这本书给我。当我第一次阅读时，我是抱着怀疑的态度的。我想：“听父母的话？但是如果父母是错的呢？如果他们不知道什么是最好的呢？”显然，当时我是非常傲慢的。 幸运的是，我的母亲把蔡老师讲的《幸福人生讲座》介绍了给我。 来源 当时我正在准备汉语水平考试，所以我想看这些视频有助于提高我的中文水平。当我看完第一个视频后，我感觉蔡老师非常有智慧，我想向他学习。我非常喜欢蔡老师使用实际的例子来阐述书中的每一个观点。之后，我看了他的总共时长为40小时的课程三遍。 一天，我突然醒悟：我的很多不开心和压力都来源于与家庭的冲突。问题的根本是我缺乏孝心，缺乏对父母的感恩心。在我内心的最深处，我不尊敬我的父母。我也记得我挺懊恼，我怎么样才能像蔡老师说的那些故事里的孝子一样孝顺父母呢？ 问题没有快效药。我就开始试着落实《弟子规》中的教诲，比如 父母呼，应勿缓；父母命，行勿懒。 父母教，顺敬听；父母责，须顺承。 亲所好，力为具；亲所恶，谨为去。 或饮食，或坐走；长者先，幼者后。 开始时，我妈妈感到很奇怪，但当她知道我在践行《弟子规》时，她鼓励了我，并且一起陪我练习，那让我大受震撼。一段时间后，我的行动帮助我相信我已经开始重视孝道了，而那让我更加孝顺。最终我和我的家庭的冲突少了很多，一家人更和睦了。 我同样对我身边的交际影响进行了反思，并意识到我的社交媒体上负面影响很多。我的社交媒体上有很多人发布关于美食，衣服，度假或是抱怨的博客。所以我删掉了这些账号，且关注一些富有正面影响的作者和发言人的账号。 我同样在游戏上浪费了太多的时间，我意识到这些游戏都在教我傲慢，冲突和自私，因为我总是想取得游戏胜利并且超过其他的玩家。因此，我放弃了游戏并利用时间去读一些优秀的书籍。我发现阅读好书，思想观念越健康，给我带来了长久的快乐和幸福，并且带走了我的负面情绪和思想。 《弟子规》令我和我的家庭受益，所以我引用了书中的教诲到我正在教授的商务领导课程中。我让学生们随意选择5-10条教诲，每天早晨和夜晚阅读坚持两星期，就像我所做的一样。最后写下人生的变化。我对一些学生分享的关于品德改善的故事感到非常惊喜，那也正是我一直向更多人推崇这本书的原因。 学以致用 总而言之，《弟子规》教给了我们五大美德： 孝顺：做好儿女 （入则孝，出则悌） 谨慎：认真对待所有的任务和事情，事无巨细 （谨，亲仁） 信用：人际关系的基础 （信） 仁爱：无条件地爱所有人 （泛爱众） 谦虚：总是寻求提高自己的美德并感激批评 （入则孝，信，余力学文） 再三强调：我们的人生由行动决定，我们的行动由思想决定，我们的思想由人格决定。如果我们能建立这五种美德，我们就建立了一个幸福和成功的人生的品格。所以《弟子规》是要做的，不是读一读就可以。 来源 另一个思考我们品格的方式是习惯。那些自从年幼就开始践行孝心的人早已建立了尊敬的美德，他们的思想自然而然是带着尊敬的。相反，那些自年幼就是傲慢自大的人，他们的思想自然而然就是傲慢的。但好消息是，习惯是可以改变的！有关习惯的研究显示人往往需要几周到几个月来改变一个习惯。 记住：仅仅记住美德是没有用的，我们必须践行它们。而仅仅做一两次也是不够的，我们必须每天做直到形成习惯。我建议你从弟子规选5-10句，早晨大声朗读文章去提醒自己今天需要做到这些内容。 睡前，用日记的方式记录下今天的所作所为。 每个符合《弟子规》的行为加一分，不符合的行为减少一分，还要写下下次如何防止同样的过失。我建议为每天设置一个目标，比如每天达三分，你也可以增加目标。如果你记录言行两周，你肯定会发现你的人生变得更好，更幸福！ 最后，感恩孔子与祖先们对我们晚辈的爱心，留给我们这么好的智慧，也随喜你的好学，读完了这篇文章！

Once in ancient China, three young brothers went to visit Prime Minister Xie An (謝安). The three brothers' names were Zi You (子猷), Zi Zhong (子重), and Zi Jing (子敬). During their visit, Zi You and Zi Zhong talked a lot about common matters, but Zi Jing spoke very little. Image Source After the three brothers left, a guest who had watched the entire scene asked the Prime Minister, "Out of those three young men, who do you think will be most successful?" The Prime Minister replied, "The youngest, Wang Jing." The guest asked, "Why do you say that?" The Prime Minister explained, "Those with high prospects and bright futures all speak few words, while those who are impulsive and reckless speak many words." The Prime Minister then added, "Zi Jing is also the most polite. After he introduced himself, he stood there respectfully and listened to the adults talk about important life lessons without interrupting. The other two brothers talk too much." Later, history proved that it was indeed Zi Jing who was the most successful. Commentary The Book of Changes said, "Auspicious people speak few words. Impetuous people speak many words." (Original text: 吉人之辭寡，躁人之辭眾) There are many reasons why those who talk a lot might be unlucky, but here are six that I can think of: As Prime Minister Xie An mentioned, people who speak a lot are impetuous and rash, which leads to many mistakes and problems. People who speak a lot have an agitated and undisciplined mind, which leads to many mistakes and problems. People who speak a lot are overly self-centered and perhaps arrogant, so others won't like them. If others don't like them, they won't have good luck. People who talk too much don't listen enough, and if they don't listen to others, they don't learn and improve. People who speak a lot are more likely to say something wrong, which brings bad luck. People who like to gossip about others might make enemies, which then attracts disasters. On the other hand, someone who is very thoughtful and careful with their speech will naturally attract success and good relationships. So how can we reduce our words and increase our good luck? Firstly, we need to rid bad speech. Confucius taught people to not speak lies, foul language, gossip, or exaggerations. Secondly, we can use the triple filter test to ensure our words deserve to be said: Is it true? Is it useful to the listener? Is now the right time to say this? Thirdly, we should listen more than we speak. As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." Image Source By ridding bad speech, cultivating good speech, and listening more than we speak, we will surely attract good luck! Self-Reflection When I meet others, I usually try to listen more than I speak. I know that everyone, including myself, yearns to be heard and appreciated without any judgment, so I try to give that gift to others. But I don't do this enough with the people that I see every day. As a high school teacher, I've been working on being less rambly. Having been a student before, I know how boring it is to listen to a rambling teacher, so I try to speak concisely to my students. I guess I've had some success because students often say in my course feedback surveys that I explain things quite well. I even had students say they wish I would talk more! In my daily life, I find that I speak a lot when I feel worried or confused. I'll often spill out my thoughts to whoever is available to listen, but then they just get annoyed because my speech isn't helpful to them or they want to go do something else. I shouldn't burden other people with my negative emotions, so I need to work on not speaking when I am in a bad mood and practice managing my mood myself. Conclusion Do you have any bad speaking habits to fix? How are you doing with regards to the three filters? Do you listen more or speak more? Weekly Wisdom Newsletter #176 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

Wang Dan (王旦) was a well-respected prime minister in the Song Dynasty (around 1000 years ago) of ancient China. He was famous for his great virtues, including good temper, humility, righteousness, and frugality. Even today, the Wang family is still very prosperous and successful around the globe. Image Source Wang’s Good Temper Being a prime minister in ancient China, his large household naturally had lots of servants. One time, his family members found out that their servant chef secretly stole and ate meat. They immediately went to Wang, complained, and demanded for the servant to be punished. Wang did not give the order to punish the servant. Instead, he asked them how much meat the servant ate. His family remembers said 0.25kg. Wang then asked how much meat they wanted to eat each day. They replied 0.5kg. Wang said, “In the future, give the servant enough money to buy 0.75kg of meat. Then there is enough meat for everybody.” When the servant heard this, he felt very ashamed of his bad behavior and grateful for Wang’s magnanimity. Since Wang was known for having such a good temper, his family members decided to test him. One time, they put some ink into his bowl of soup. During the meal, Wang ate as normal, but he ignored the soup. His family asked him why he didn’t drink the soup. Wang said, “I don’t feel like drinking soup today.” Another time, they put some ash into his bowl of rice. When the servant brought the rice to him, he said, “I don’t feel like eating rice today. Please bring me a bowl of porridge.” Wang didn’t show the slightest trace of anger towards their mischief. Wang’s Humility Wang had a colleague named Kou Zhun (寇准) who took the imperial examinations and got hired as an imperial official the same year as Wang. They both served as ministers to Emperor Zhen Zong (真宗). Kou was an honest man who cared about the good of the people, but he was jealous of Wang’s greater success. Hence, he always spoke of Wang’s faults and mistakes to the Emperor. Despite this, Wang always spoke of Kou’s good points to the Emperor. After a while, even the Emperor felt Kou was being too rude and unfair towards Wang. One time, the Emperor couldn’t take it anymore and said to Wang, “You always tell me about how good Kou is, but he always tells me how bad you are!” Wang replied, “Having been prime minister for all these years, I surely made many mistakes, so it’s no wonder Kou has so much to criticize about me. He has the good of the people in his heart, and he speaks honestly to your majesty. He is a good adviser to keep around.” In reality, everyone knew that Kou was just being small-minded and envious, but Wang always assumed good intentions. Hearing Wang’s humble response, the Emperor admired Wang even more. When Wang was old and ill, the Emperor asked Wang who could replace him. Wang recommended Kou. When Kou got the promotion to prime minister, he was extremely happy and thanked the Emperor. The Emperor told him, “Don’t thank me. Thank Wang. It’s thanks to his repeated recommendation of you that you got this promotion.” When Kou realized this, he felt extremely ashamed of how he treated Wang in the past and also extremely grateful to him at the same time. Wang’s Righteousness One time, a fire broke out in the imperial palace, and Emperor Zhen Zong was very upset that all the treasures in the palace were destroyed. Wang then advised the Emperor saying, “Your majesty has the wealth of a country. Material possessions do not deserve your worry. What deserves your worry is justice, to not wrongfully punish people.” Wang implied that if the leader did not act righteously, then people below might plot to burn the palace. Wang also apologized for not being a good enough Prime Minister that others might want to burn the palace. This let the Emperor reflect on his own shortcomings rather than getting angry and blaming others. Whenever he was promoted (which meant more money and power), his family wanted to celebrate. But Wang replied, “Being promoted only increases my worries and responsibilities. What is there to celebrate?” Wang took his job very seriously and only focused on serving the people. He never let wealth, fame, or power get to his head Wang’s Frugality Although Wang was very wealthy, he always managed his family frugally and forbid extravagance. The Emperor, seeing Wang’s house to be very plain and simple, offered to rebuild the house for him. Wang refused but thanked the Emperor, saying, “This house has been passed down for generations from my ancestors. Aside from the door being a little broken, there are no problems, so there’s no need to rebuild it.” When his children got married, he kept the marriage ceremony plain and simple, without any extravagance. When other people asked him why he didn’t buy property and houses for his descendants, he told them that he wants his descendants to learn independence. Besides, if he buys lots of property, then his descendants might fight over the property, which would cause them to morally degrade. In his will, Wang told his children, “Our family’s prosperity is from virtues. We must continue to be diligent and frugal. Do not indulgence in extravagance. After I die, do not burry me with money or treasures.” He also left a message to the Emperor saying, “Hiding wealth and treasures is useless. Giving wealth to help the people is the way to prevent disaster.” Commentary: Anger is one of the most harmful and hardest to control emotions. Anger burns bridges in relationships and hurts our cardiac health. One day, I heard a teacher say, "How would you like to live a life in which no one could ever make you angry?" He caught my full attention because one of my problems is that I get annoyed very easily, and annoyance is just a weaker form of anger. When I heard Wang Dan's story, I really admired him. I think Wang's legendary good temper comes from two virtues: reciprocity and humility. On reciprocity, Confucius once said, "There is one word which may serve as a guide of practice for all of one's life: reciprocity. What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." Most people are demanding about how others ought to treat them, but reciprocity is about us treating others well regardless of how they treat us. No one likes to be publicly shamed or scolded, so Wang never did that to others, even when they were mischievous. Even though Kou said bad things about him, he didn't say bad things about Kou because no one likes being slandered. Wang focused on his behavior, not on how others should treat him. Humility is about being appreciative of criticism and always trying to improve oneself. Even though Kou always unfairly criticized Wang, Wang never got angry, and he never tried to defend himself or argue back. There's a Chinese proverb that says, "It takes two angry people to make a quarrel." Although Kou always tried to start a quarrel with Wang, Wang always returned his hostility with friendliness, his criticism with praise, and so Kou always failed at provoking Wang. On the contrary, Kou's efforts only made Wang's humility even more evident in the eyes of others, which earned Wang even more respect. Upon reflection, I have a lot of room for improvement in both reciprocity and humility. If others treat me poorly, my first thought is "You shouldn't treat me like that." But reciprocity would be "No matter how others behave, I must behave virtuously." As for humility, I've gotten a lot better with accepting criticisms, but I'm nowhere near as humble as Wang Dan or Emperor Tang, so I still need more practice. Conclusion Would you like to live a life where no one could make you angry? If so, how can you emulate Wang Dan's example?

Do not let arrogance grow. Do not let desires be too permissive. Do not let aspirations be full. Do not let pleasures be so excessive. (Bk. i., sect. i., pt. i., c. ii. Original text: 傲不可长，欲不可纵，志不可满，乐不可极。) Maybe I have an inner poet in me? Just kidding. This is actually a translation of an excerpt from The Book of Rites, one of the classics in Confucianism. Although I did try very hard to make the English translation rhyme! Image Source: Unsplash 1: Do not let arrogance grow. Lao Tzu, the founder of Daoism, said, "He who becomes arrogant with wealth and power . . . sows the seeds of his own misfortune . . . he who boasts of his own achievements harms his credibility . . . he who is arrogant experiences no growth in wisdom . . . he who knows glory, but keeps to humility . . . is sufficient in the eternal virtue." (Dao De Jing) 2: Do not let desires be too permissive. Whether it be Seneca, Socrates, Epictetus, or the Buddha, it's no coincidence that all the great ancient philosophers talked about reducing desires. Seneca said, "It is inevitable that life will be not just very short but very miserable for those who acquire by great toil what they must keep by greater toil." (On the Shortness of Life). Socrates said, "The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less." Epictetus said, "When children stick their hand down a narrow goody jar, they can't get their full fist out and start crying. Drop a few treats and you will get it out! Curb your desire--don't set your heart on so many things and you will get what you need." The Buddha said, "There is no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires." It's fine to desire the basic necessities in life, such as basic food, shelter, and clothes. Suffering happens when people become greedy for unnecessary things for the purpose of pleasure or social comparison, such as chasing wealth, status, and luxuries. When we have a strong desire for something, we either end up stressed or end up stressed. That's not a typo. If you don't get what you desire, then you're stressed. If you do get what you desire, you get a temporary sense of relief, but then you're afraid losing it or stressed about the next bigger desire. Not letting desires be too permissive prevents unnecessary suffering. 3: Do not let aspirations be full. When we think we have fulfilled our aspirations, or when we don't have aspirations, then complacency arises. Complacency creates laziness and prevents growth. There's always more people in need of help, so how could our aspirations ever be full? When asked what his aspirations were, Confucius said, "To give comfort to elders, to give trust to friends, and to give nurturance to the young." (Analects of Confucius). The Buddha's taught his students, "Cease all that is bad, cultivate all that is good, purifying the mind: this is the seal of Buddhist teachings." Aspirations such as these are lifelong endeavors. 4: Do not let pleasure be excessive. "Pleasure" in this context refers to sensory pleasures, such as touch, taste, and mind (e.g., highs from drugs). Excessive pleasures result in a big low afterwards and can lead to addiction. Seneca said, "It is for this reason that men sink themselves in pleasures, and they cannot do without them when once they have become accustomed to them…And so they are the slaves of their pleasures…Then it is that the height of unhappiness is reached." (Letter XXXIX. On Noble Aspirations). In Ethics 101, author John Maxwell laments how for many decades, Americans encouraged short-term pleasure, and that led to bankruptcy, divorce, and drug addiction. Maxwell says, “It’s ironic, but to gain freedom, you need to contain your emotions with discipline. That takes character.” Swap Vice for Virtue I've found the solutions those these four vices in the book Guide To A Happy Life, which talks about building our character through five virtues: Filial Piety: being a good son or daughter Carefulness: being caring and respectful towards all tasks and matters, no matter how small. Trustworthiness: having good faith, integrity, humility, and carefulness. Loving Kindness: wanting the best for all people without any conditions or expectations. Humility: always seeking to improve our virtues and being appreciative of criticism. To reduce arrogance, grow humility. To reduce selfish desires, grow trustworthiness and loving kindness. To prevent complacency, grow loving kindness and humility. To prevent excessive pleasure, grow carefulness. A Role Model: Benjamin Franklin Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, had a list of 13 virtues that he aimed to achieve his whole life. These 13 virtues encompass all four things in need of self-control. Image Source Do not let arrogance grow: Franklin's thirteenth virtue was humility. In his late years, he reflected, “On the whole, tho’ I never arrived at the Perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell short of it. Yet as I was, by the Endeavor, a better and a happier Man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.” Do not let desires be too permissive: Franklin's fifth virtue was frugality: "Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing." His ninth virtue was moderation: "Avoid extremes." Do not let aspirations be full. Franklin's sixth virtue was industry: "Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions." Do not let pleasures be so excessive: Franklin's first virtue was temperance: "Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation." His twelfth virtue was chastity: "Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation." Self-Reflection Inspired by Franklin's example, I did a self-reflection. 1: Arrogance Arrogance and ego is definitely one of my big problems. Although logically I tell myself I should be appreciative of criticism, I still feel uncomfortable when people criticize me. I'm still working on this one. When people praise me, I try to pass the credit off to all the people who helped me, such as my teachers or team members. When people criticize me, I try to remind myself that I'd rather people criticize me wrongfully than to feel like they can't criticize me when I need to hear it. 2: Desires I used to desire wealth and fame, but after learning Buddhism and Stoicism, my desires are much less and I'm able to be content with what I have. After all, no one dies saying, "I wish I spent more time chasing money and fame." 3: Aspirations I like helping people. I view it as my duty to tell others what I wish I had known earlier to prevent them from going through the suffering I went through. This aspiration can carry me throughout my entire life. 4: Pleasures I used to think of myself as a foodie, so I indulged a lot in foods. I still have a little bit of that desire, but it's much less than before thanks to a period of illness that helped me research and switch to a very healthy diet. Concluding Thought: "One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself." —Leonardo Da Vinci How are you doing in these four areas of self-control? Which one would you work on first?

During the Ming Dynasty (about 500 years ago) in ancient China, there was a high government official named Wen Zhen Xu (徐文貞). Xu was known for his humility and consideration. Specifically, he was able to admit his own faults (humility) and conceal the faults of others (consideration). Source Xu’s Humility One year, Xu served as the Chief Examiner of his province, and he was in charge of making the exam papers and hosting the exam. (For context, in ancient China, scholars had to pass different levels of imperial examinations in order to gain government positions, which were equated with wealth and prestige. You can think of it as if he were in charge of conducting a very important round of interviews for important government jobs.) During that exam, there was a student who noticed a mistake in the exam. He was very nervous about pointing out the mistake because he might offend the examiner (Xu) and indirectly offend the Emperor who chose the examiner. But he took the courage to go up to Xu and tell him the mistake in the exam. When Xu heard this, not only was he not defensive or critical, but he immediately checked the related book and verified the mistake to be true. Then he admitted his mistake, apologized, and said he learned an important lesson today. To be able to admit his mistakes publicly in such a high-ranking position requires great courage and humility, and the public admired him for that. Xu’s Consideration for Others When Xu retired and returned to his hometown, he hosted a big banquet and invited family, neighbors, and fellow villagers. There was a guest who saw that Xu had a golden cup, and he wanted to steal it. This guest hid the golden cup in his hat. Xu happened to see him stealing the cup, but he didn’t call him out. Instead, he concealed that person’s wrongdoing because he felt that human sentiment is more important than material possessions. When the meal was over, a servant who was cleaning up couldn’t find the golden cup. Xu saw this servant searching and told him to not worry about it because he already put the golden cup away. In reality, he didn’t want to embarrass the guest who stole the cup. Unfortunately, that guest didn’t control himself and got drunk. When he was walking, he stumbled and fell down. When he fell down, his hat came off and the golden cup rolled out. When Xu saw this, he immediately turned around and pretended like he didn’t see the cup. He also told his servant to go put that cup back into the person’s hat. Everyone realized how kind and considerate Xu was to conceal this person’s wrongdoing rather than publicly shame him. Commentary The Guide to a Happy Life said, “If I get angry when hearing criticisms and happy when hearing praise, then bad people will come and good people will leave. If I am uneasy when hearing praise and happy when hearing criticisms, then good people will come.” Xu did this when a student pointed out his mistake on that very important examination event. The Guide to a Happy Life also said, “Whatever I impose on others, first ask if I want to be treated that way. If not, then don’t do it to others.” Everyone makes mistakes in life, and nobody likes to be publicly shamed. That’s why Xu concealed that guests’ fault rather than publicly shame him. He showed that valuing human sentiment is more important than material possessions. We can all learn from Xu’s great role modeling of humility and consideration.

What if you could change your physical reality with just your thoughts? Maybe you could manifest a healthy body, a happy relationship, or a dream job. Well actually…you can! This is called manifestation, and we can learn how it works through quantum physics. Image Credit: Evgeny Gromov Getty Images How Our Thoughts Affect the Physical World Quantum physicists have taken physical matter and then observe it under stronger and stronger microscopes. As they go smaller and smaller, they can see atoms, then protons and neutrons, then quarks, then electrons, and eventually…just waves. In other words, physical matter arises from non-physical wave energy! Most of us learned that an atom is a nucleus with electrons orbiting around it. Well, that Newtonian model of the atom is actually incorrect. The quantum model explains that electrons exist in an invisible cloud of energy around the nucleus. Image Source The Observer Effect shows that when an observer focuses attention on any one location of that energy cloud, the electron will appear there. If there is no observer, then the electron returns to being non-physical energy spread across the whole energy cloud. The conclusion is that our focused thought causes wave energy to condense there and become matter. This proves a link between thought and matter. Just like how an atom's nucleus is surrounded by a non-physical electron cloud, all of us are surrounded by an non-physical field of infinite energy. Quantum physics calls it the Quantum Field. And just like how an electron manifests out of that energy cloud, all of our physical universe manifests out of the Quantum Field. How to Manifest Using Visualization Our thoughts are electric, our emotions are magnetic, and together they make an electromagnetic field around our body. Our electromagnetic field is always communicating with the Quantum Field. Your thoughts and emotions right now are manifesting your current reality. Image Source The Law of Attraction explains that if we change our electromagnetic field (by changing our thoughts and emotions), then that will attract a new reality from the Quantum Field. The thought must match the feeling, and then we have to hold that state of being long enough for the manifestation to occur. Therefore, manifestation has four steps: Be very specific on what you want to manifest Feel right now what you would feel if you already obtained that manifestation (joy, gratitude, love) Maintain that state of elevated emotions Wait for the surprise Steps 2 and 3 are the hardest. For step 2, we need to feel elevated emotions like joy, gratitude, and love BEFORE our manifestation actually happens. Like attracts like. Your elevated emotions will attract that wonderful event to you. Then you need to hold that elevated state all day every day. If you try to manifest with lower emotions like stress, unhappiness, and lack, then you will manifest more suffering. How do you know if your manifestation is working? First of all, you should feel great, as if you already got what you imagined. Second, that manifestation will come to us in a way we do not expect. If you make a plan and follow your plan and achieve your results, then you obtained it by working in the physical world; that is not manifestation. Since the Quantum Field has infinite potential, it will give you your manifestation in a way that you cannot predict, and that’s how you know it came through manifestation. Manifestation Example 1: Dream Job For example, Dr. Dispenza's son wanted to manifest a dream job. Step 1: Think Clearly Dr. Dispenza taught his son to write down all the specific details about that dream job, such as the working hours, the industry, the salary, and so on. This is the thought part (the electric part). Step 2: Feel Elevated Then he told his son: Imagine how you would feel if you had that job. You would probably feel elevated emotions like gratitude, joy, wonder, and love. This is the feeling part (the magnetic part). His son wrote down these details and emotions for his dream job. Image Source: Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza You to visualize and meditate on those details and feelings every day. Each meditation session, you cannot get up until it feels real, as if you already have that job right now. That's how you send out the electromagnetic signal to the Quantum Field. Step 3: Maintain Elevated Dr. Dispenza warned his son: Throughout your day, you also need to hold that elevated emotional state so that your message to the Quantum Field does not change or break. If you return to lower emotions, the manifestation will stop and you will attract your old reality again. Step 4: Get Surprised His son followed his father's instructions. Months later, the son “just happened” to bump into his idol surfer, and they “just happened” to have a great conversation, and his idol “just happened” to be looking for someone to hire, and he “just happened” to be a great fit. It was completely unpredictable. Dr. Dispenza lists lots of manifestation examples like this in his books. Another Way to Manifest: Daily Self-Improvement While the manifestation theory is fairly simple to understand, it is actually very difficult to do in real life. It is easy for people to think about what they want. The hard part is to feel and maintain the elevated emotions. When life throws problems at us, it is hard for us to keep up elevated emotions and not fall into lower emotions. Dr. Dispenza's method is to do visualization meditation every day to cultivate concentration and elevated emotions. I have tried it but after the meditation, I go back to my old habits of stress and worry. To be honest, even during the meditation, my mind is full of wandering thoughts, and I am unable to feel intense elevated emotions. Therefore, my emotional state is still attracting my current reality. Since ancient spiritual practices also know about how thoughts manifest reality, I looked to Daoism and Buddhist for other methods. They both emphasized the importance of cultivating a virtuous heart and eliminating vices in order to attract a better future (or good karma as they call it). In The Treatise on Cause and Effect, the Daoist sage Lao Tzu said, "Misfortune and fortune do not come through gates, they are created by ourselves…Fortunate people speak virtue, observe virtue, and do virtue. If each day you persevere in these three virtues, after three years, the Heavens will surely descend fortune upon you. Misfortunate people speak evil, observe evil, and do evil. If each day you persevere in these three evils, after three years, the Heavens will surely descend calamity upon you." Speaking virtue, observing virtue, and doing virtue is something anyone can do. Cultivating virtues will lead to more elevated emotions, while vices will lead to more low emotions. If we can persevere for three years to cultivate virtues and eliminate vices, then our thoughts and heart will surely become elevated and attract a better reality. Moreover, we can even set a manifestation that we want and then cultivate virtues to obtain that specific goal! Manifestation Example 2: Wealth, Prestige, and Children Liao Fan is a great role model of this daily self-improvement method. In his book, Liao Fan's Four Lessons, he explains how he spent many years cultivating virtuous deeds and thoughts. He wanted to obtain a high government job, which equated to wealth and prestige. Step 1: Think Clearly First, Liao Fan got specific on what he wanted: A promotion to a higher government job. Step 2: Cultivate virtuous actions and thoughts every day To manifest this dream job, he vowed to cultivate virtues through doing 3000 good deeds. Every day he practiced good deeds, studied virtuous books, and self-reflected in a journal. Step 3: Persevere to change the heart At first, he was able to do good deeds, but his mind and heart were not aligned. Later, his actions and mind were good, but his heart still didn't feel fully virtuous. In these situations, the manifestation will not work. By the time he completed his 3000 good deeds, his heart had changed, so he could feel and maintain elevated emotions throughout the entire day, and his goal was indeed manifested. He then did vowed again to do 3000 deeds to have a son, and before his 3000 deeds were even finished, his son was born. Conclusion Albert Einstein summarized manifestation nicely: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get into that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.” Manifestation only works when what we think, feel, and do are constantly aligned. One method is to do visualization mediation until you feel the elevated emotions of gratitude, joy, and love, as if you already got your wish. Then maintain that elevated state for the whole day. That method is probably quite difficult for most people, so another slow-but-steady method is to improve our character every day. We can focus on doing good deeds, thinking good thoughts, and feeling good emotions. As this becomes more and more habitual and natural, our electromagnetic signal will attract a better reality from the Quantum Field. If you are interested in further reading, examples, and applications, you can check out this article: Mind-Matter Connection: How Our Thoughts Affect and Manifest Reality. I wish you lots of joy, gratitude, and love!

从前在古希腊，著名的哲学家苏格拉底的一位老友遇到了他，就热情的过来说：“你知道我刚听说的关于你朋友的事吗？” 苏格拉底很稳重的回应：“等一下。你想说的话要先用三个筛子过滤过才行。” 他的朋友问：“三个筛子？” 苏格拉底接着说“正是。第一个叫真实。你确定你将告诉我的事情是真实的吗？” 朋友回应道：“我是刚从街上听来的，也不知道是不是真的。而且——” 苏格拉底打断了他，“你不能确定是真实的，第一个筛子就没通过。那我们试试第二个吧，第二叫好意。你要说的话是带着好意的吗？” 朋友回应道，“相反，我要告诉你——” 苏格拉底再次打断了他，“那么如果你想告诉我一些关于他的坏事情，而你不能确定那是真实的。那就让我们试试第三个筛子吧，第三叫有用。你想说的话对我有用吗？” 朋友回应道，“没有吧——” 苏格拉底总结道，“如果这些话对他人没用，又不是用善意，更不知道它是否真实的，你又何必说呢？” 评论 Julian Treasure 说： “人类的声音...那可能是世界上最强有力的声音。那是唯一可以触发一场战争或是说 ‘我爱你’ 的声音” 。 确实，不好的言语导致很多问题的产生，而经过深思熟虑的言语能创造一个美好的世界。想象一下，如果苏格拉底的三个筛子教会了所有的人，那么我们的社会和媒体会变得如何？而我们的世界又会变得怎么样呢？ 苏格拉底不是唯一强调恰当言语的人。孔子和佛陀同样也有很多关于恰当言语的教导。 孔子关于适当言语的教学可以在《弟子规》看到： 凡出言，信为先。诈与莽，奚可焉。 话说多，不如少。惟其是，勿佞巧。 见未真，勿轻言。知未的，勿轻传。 凡道字，重且舒。勿急疾，勿模糊。 彼说长，此说短。不关己，莫闲管。 因为古人很注重德行和言语的教育，所以古中国的社会非常和平和稳定。 佛教也有教说话的三种筛子，跟苏格拉底的非常像： 这话是真实的吗？ 这话对听者有益吗？ 现在适当说这句话吗？ 我们可以看出，这里的重要法则是为倾听者着想。 我的经验 个人而言，我有三个说话的坏习惯。 杂乱无章：这也是为什么别人听我说话时候感到无聊或是分心的原因。我不该怪他们，我需要培养我的说话能力。 不合时宜的话： 当这不是一个恰当的时间和别人说话，但我怕我会忘记，所以我仍然会说。而另一个人会生烦恼或记不得我所说的。 不真实的话：我常常说“好像”是因为我不确定那是真的，但如果我不知道那是真的我最好还是不要说。经常说“好像”让我失去了信用。 反省到自己的问题是改变的第一步。与以往相比，我已经改进很多了，但我仍然有很长的路要走。但愿我的反思能激发你，从而培养你说话的习惯。 在培养我的说话习惯后，我发现我的交流能力和人际关系得到了极大的改善。比如，最近我的妈妈在教我怎么做家务。她教的和我平常做的不一样，我很想打断她，并且问她为什么不用另一种方法，并且告诉她如果这样做会产生的问题。但我想起要少说多听，而且在说之前，我需要引起她的注意。因为她专注于演示，所以我没有说话。 在她演示完后，我理解了她为什么那样做。当她问我是否理解的时候，我想直接说“是的”。然后我记得恰当的言语应当对倾听者有益，所以我使用了眼神交流并且简短的总结了过程。她对我认真听讲并且重述过程感到很高兴。 另一个应用则体现在我的写作中。不仅仅是言语，我们都应当写真实的话，对别人有益的话，并且对读者适宜的话。 总结 通过培养我们的说话习惯，我们可以避免很多不必要的冲突来改善我们的人际关系和有效性。我们很幸运能从苏格拉底，孔子，和佛陀学到如此精彩和有用的教导。哪些观点引起了你的共鸣？我鼓励你选择三个要点作为你的言语过滤器，尝试一天，然后看看在你的生活中会发生哪些改变。

The average person has thousands of thoughts a day, somewhere between 6000 to 70,000… That’s a lot of thoughts! Most of us are not very careful with our thoughts, but what if our thoughts actually turned out to be very powerful? What if our thoughts could affect our physical world? Actually…they do! Image Source: Shutterstock I remember back in high school science, I learned a little bit about quantum physics, and I found it super interesting. Many years later, I read Dr. Joe Dispenza's books Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and Becoming Supernatural. Both of these books use quantum physics to explain how our mind can influence and even manifest physical matter! When we understand that our thoughts can change our reality, we can make good use of those 6000 to 70,000 thoughts per day to manifest better futures, such as good health, harmonious relationships, career success, a clean environment, and a peaceful world. This article will look how our thoughts and emotions affect physical matter from a quantum physics perspective, explain how to manifest, and give some real life applications. Here is a table of contents to help you navigate this article: Part 1: Quantum Physics Explains How Thoughts Affect Matter The Observer Effect The Law of Attraction Part 2: Manifestation Using Visualization Four Steps to Manifestation Using Visualization Manifestation Example: Dream Job Part 3: Manifestation Using Daily Self-Improvement Cultivate a Virtuous Heart and Cut Vices Manifestation Example: Wealth, Prestige, and Children Part 4: Manifest Health Method 1: Cultivate Virtues and Cut Vices Health Example 1: Venerable Jing Kong Method 2: Mantra Meditation Health Example 2: 112-Year Old Monk Method 3: Visualization Meditation Health Example 3: Miraculous Recovery from Cancer Part 5: Manifest Happy Relationships Example: Sending Elevated Emotions Cultivate Emotional Mastery Part 6: Manifest Healing the Environment Example: Cleaning Polluted Water Using Thought Part 7: Manifest World Peace Example: Lebanon Peace Project Start with Yourself Conclusion Part 1: Quantum Physics Explains How Thoughts Affect Matter How could our non-physical thoughts affect physical matter? Although this idea seems surprising to those of us who grew in the modern western world, this is not surprising at all to people who grew up in the East. Ancient Eastern religions, such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and Daoism all teach that the physical world is manifested from the mind. And now, quantum physics has a scientific explanation. We probably all know from high school science that all things are made of atoms, and atoms are made of subatomic particles like protons, neutrons, and electrons. If you keep going smaller and smaller, eventually, there is no more matter, but instead just wave energy. In other words, matter arises from electromagnetic wave energy. We now know that an atom is 99.999999999999% empty space, and that empty space is actually wave energy. That means our five senses can only detect 0.0000000000001% of reality. Our five senses cannot detect most waves, such as radio waves, microwaves, UV rays, and X-rays, but we know such waves exist. All matter arises from waves, and waves are just energy. So where does this energy come from? German physicist Max Planck said, “I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter." Quantum physicists call this "conscious and intelligent mind" the Quantum Field. Buddhism calls it "our true nature". Daoism calls it "The Dao". Western religions call it "God". For our purposes, we will continue with the quantum physics view. All of our consciousness is connected to the Quantum Field, and all physical matter in the universe arises from this non-physical Quantum Field. The Quantum Field is in all space and all time, but we cannot perceive it with our 5 senses because it is not physical. To give an analogy, imagine you are looking at an ocean from above. The top of the ocean has waves and movement; that is like our physical world, always changing. The bottom of the ocean is still, invisible, and has infinite potential to make infinite waves at the top. The bottom of the ocean is like the Quantum Field. The Observer Effect Since our mind is linked to the Quantum Field, we can tap into that infinite field of possibilities to manifest a specific possibility. This is shown through The Observer Effect. For example, we know an atom has electrons. In the old Newtonian model of an atom, electrons orbit an atom’s nucleus in a set path, similar to how planets orbit the sun. But now, we know that electrons do not orbit in a set path, they actually exist in an invisible cloud of energy around the nucleus. Image Source The Observer Effect shows that when an observer focuses attention on any one location of that energy cloud, the electron will appear there. If there is no observer, then the electron returns to being non-physical energy spread across the whole energy cloud. The conclusion is that our focused thought causes wave energy to condense there and become matter. Image Source An electron is extremely small and has almost no mass, so it does not require a strong thought to manifest. But the Observer Effects proves a link between thought and matter. If we want to manifest bigger and denser things than an electron, that would take much more concentrated thought and energy. The Law of Attraction In Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Dispenza explains that our thoughts are electric, our emotions are magnetic, and together they make an electromagnetic field around our body. Our electromagnetic field is always communicating with the Quantum Field. Image Source The Law of Attraction explains that if we change our electromagnetic field (by changing our thoughts and emotions), then that will attract a new reality from the Quantum Field. The thought must match the feeling, and then we have to hold that state of being long enough for the manifestation to occur. Part 2: Manifestation Using Visualization Once we understand The Observer Effect and The Law of Attraction, we are ready explain the manifestation process in four steps. Four Steps to Manifestation Using Visualization Be very specific on what you want to manifest Feel right now what you would feel if you already obtained that manifestation (joy, gratitude, love) Maintain that state of elevated emotions Wait for the surprise The challenge is feeling and maintaining elevated emotions. For step 2, we need to feel elevated emotions like joy, gratitude, and love BEFORE our manifestation actually happens. Like attracts like. Your elevated emotions will attract that wonderful event to you. If you try to manifest with lower emotions like stress, unhappiness, and lack, then you will manifest more suffering. Albert Einstein said, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get into that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.” How do you know if your manifestation is working? First of all, you should be feel great, as if you already got what you imagined. Second, that manifestation will come to us in a way we do not expect. If you make a plan and follow your plan and achieve your results, then you obtained it by working in the physical world; that is not manifestation. Since the Quantum Field has infinite potential, it will give you your manifestation in a way that you cannot predict, and that’s how you know it came through manifestation. Manifestation Example: Dream Job In Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Dispenza explains how he guided his son to manifest his dream job. Step 1: Think Clearly Dr. Dispenza taught his son to write down all the specific details about that dream job, such as the working hours, the industry, the salary, and so on. This is the thought part (the electric part). Step 2: Feel Elevated Then he told his son: Imagine how you would feel if you had that job. You would probably feel elevated emotions like gratitude, joy, wonder, and love. This is the feeling part (the magnetic part). In his journal, his son wrote "J" to signify dream job. On the left, he wrote down his thoughts on the details of the job. On the left, he wrote the elevated emotions he would feel. Source: Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza Then the son visualized and meditated on those details and feelings every day. Each meditation session, He did not get up until it felt real, as if he already has that job right now. Step 3: Maintain Elevated Dr. Dispenza warned his son: Throughout your day, you also need to hold that elevated emotional state so that your message to the Quantum Field does not change or break. If you return to lower emotions, the manifestation will stop and you will attract your old reality again. Step 4: Get Surprised His son followed his father's instructions. Months later, the son “just happened” to bump into his idol surfer, and they “just happened” to have a great conversation, and his idol “just happened” to be looking for someone to hire, and he “just happened” to be a great fit. It was completely unpredictable. Dr. Dispenza lists lots of manifestation examples like this in his books. Part 3: Manifestation Using Daily Self-Improvement While the manifestation theory is fairly simple to understand, it is actually very difficult to do in real life. It is easy for people to think about what they want. The hard part is to feel and maintain the elevated emotions like joy, gratitude, and love. When life throws problems at us, it is hard for us to keep up elevated emotions and not fall into lower emotions. Dr. Dispenza's method is to do visualization meditation every day to cultivate concentration and elevated emotions. I have tried it but after the meditation, I go back to my old habits of stress and worry. To be honest, even during the meditation, my mind is full of wandering thoughts, and I am unable to feel intense elevated emotions. Therefore, my emotional state is still attracting my current reality. Cultivate a Virtuous Heart and Cut Vices Since ancient spiritual practices also know about how thoughts manifest reality, I looked to Daoism and Buddhist for other methods. They both emphasized the importance of cultivating a virtuous heart and eliminating vices in order to attract a better future. In The Treatise on Cause and Effect, the Daoist sage Lao Tzu said, "Misfortune and fortune do not come through gates, they are created by ourselves…Fortunate people speak virtue, observe virtue, and do virtue. If each day you persevere in these three virtues, after three years, the Heavens will surely descend fortune upon you. Misfortunate people speak evil, observe evil, and do evil. If each day you persevere in these three evils, after three years, the Heavens will surely descend calamity upon you." Speaking virtue, observing virtue, and doing virtue is something anyone can do. Cultivating virtues will lead to more elevated emotions, while vices will lead to more low emotions. If we can persevere for three years to cultivate virtues and eliminate vices, then our thoughts and heart will surely become elevated and attract a better reality. Moreover, we can even set a manifestation that we want and then cultivate virtues to obtain that specific goal! Manifestation Example: Wealth, Prestige, and Children Liao Fan is a great role model of this daily self-improvement method. In his book, Liao Fan's Four Lessons, he explains how he spent many years cultivating virtuous deeds and thoughts. He wanted to obtain a high government job, which equates to wealth and prestige. To manifest this dream job, he vowed to cultivate virtues through doing 3000 good deeds. Every day he practiced good deeds, studied virtuous books, and self-reflected in a journal. At first, he was able to do good deeds, but his mind and heart were not aligned. Later, his actions and mind were good, but his heart still didn't feel fully virtuous. In these situations, the manifestation will not work. By the time he completed his 3000 good deeds, his heart had changed, so he could feel and maintain elevated emotions throughout the entire day, and his goal was indeed manifested. He then did vowed again to do 3000 deeds to have a son, and before his 3000 deeds were even finished, his son was born. Now that we realize that our every thought and emotion is influencing all the matter around us and attracting a specific reality from the Quantum Field, then we will naturally become more careful with our thoughts. There are endless implications, but here are some big ones Health Relationships The Environment World Peace The rest of this article will detail these four areas. Part 4: Manifesting Health Both Western Medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine emphasize that emotions are one of the biggest factors for our health. From quantum physics, we understand that our thoughts and emotions are constantly changing the physical atoms around us, and the closest physical thing to our brain and heart is our body! Here are some different ways to manifest more health in your life: Cultivate virtues and cut vices Daily mantra meditation Daily visualization meditation Method 1: Cultivate Virtues and Cut Vices We now know that virtues bring elevated emotions while vices bring low emotions. Dr. Masaru Emoto showed that our thoughts and emotions will change the way water crystalizes, and this is very relevant to our health because around 70% of our body is water. We can even watch in real time a water crystal responding to calm and peaceful classical music: Therefore, having virtuous thoughts and elevated emotions will make our body healthy, while vices and low emotions will make our bodies unhealthy. Health Example 1: Venerable Jing Kong Despite being in his 80s at the time, Venerable Buddhist Master Jing Kong looked so alive and had more energy than people in their 30s and 40s. His schedule was hectic, always flying to different countries to speak about world peace and morality education, but he never seemed to get tired even if he missed meals or barely slept. Many people asked him what his secret was. Did he eat anything special? Drink some sort of special tea? Do some sort of special exercise? His answer was simple: a compassionate heart and a peaceful mind. Venerable Jing Kong commented on Dr. Emoto’s experiments saying "Therefore, we should be happy and joyful with benevolent hearts, and always be mindful of repaying others’ kindness. Then the cells in our bodies will stay healthy. If we have anxieties, worries, hatred, fear, and confrontational minds against others, these will do serious harm to our bodies. If we want to be healthy, we must have good thoughts, say good words, and do good deeds. As a result, all the cells in our bodies will be healthy." Method 2: Mantra Mediation Jay Shetty, author of Think Like a Monk, explains a mantra to be a spiritual sound expressing thought and meaning that summons a power greater than ourselves. Chanting the mantra sound over and over again summons the power of sound. Mantras have meaning, and knowing their meaning can help us bring forth the related elevated emotion, which is usually tranquility, love, or divinity. The more focused you are, the more powerful the effect. Dr. Emoto exposed water to various mantras and found their crystallization to be very beautiful. Examples of common mantras include Om (which means “infinite knowledge” or “everything”) Hannya Shingyo (which means “heart of perfect wisdom”) Om Ma Ni Bä Mê Hum (which means “let me be like the lotus, rising from impure mud yet untainted and pure.”) Amitabha (which means infinite life and wisdom) If you don’t like the idea of chanting some random sounds that you don’t understand, you can simply chant a word or phrase that you like over and over again, kind of like a personal motto. Here are some examples: I can do it Love and gratitude Lotus flower “At your own pace, in your own time” "I am happy about who I am becoming. I am open to all opportunities and possibilities. I am worthy of real love. I am ready to serve with all I have." When doing your mantra meditation, just focus on the sound of the mantra and let that sound purify your mind and energy. If your mind wanders, simply notice and return back to the mantra. The goal is to cultivate elevated emotions related to your mantra, such as tranquility and love. You can do for 10 to 20 minutes, or however much time you have. You can also chant your mantra while doing mindless work like eating or walking or cleaning. Health Example 2: 112 Year Old Monk The old monk Venerable Hai Xian was basically a farmer who did physical labor out in the fields all day...at the age of 112! Image Source That's a picture of him climbing a fruit tree to pick some fruits at the age of 112. Despite his age, his body and energy levels were the same as a healthy young person! Moreover, all he eats is stuff that he planted like taro, sweet potatoes, wheat, peanuts, and vegetables. Most of us cannot fathom how that could be possible. Master Jing Kong explained that Venerable Hai Xian's secret is that his mind is always chanting "Namo Amitabha" no matter if he was doing farm work, eating, cleaning, walking, or listening to others talk. In other words, his electromagnetic field was always manifesting infinite life and infinite wisdom. Inspired by his example, I also spend time every day to do concentrated mantra meditation where I recite "Amitabha" in my head over and over. I've personally experienced calming and healing effects, and I encourage everyone to try it too! Method 3: Visualization Meditation Visualization meditation is when we imagine something vividly in our mind such that it feels real to us right now. Dr. Dispenza says, "Something as simple as moving into an elevated state of joy, love, inspiration, or gratitude for five to ten minutes a day can produce significant epigenetic changes in your health and body." Dr. Dispenza teaches his students to visualize their elevated self: Observe your thoughts for any negative or limiting beliefs you have towards yourself. Let go of those negative emotions to the past. Visualize your new, elevated self until it feels real. Imagine how that person would act and respond to daily interactions with elevated emotions. Another type of mediation we can do is loving kindness meditation, which helps people to feel the elevated emotions of love and kindness. The basic procedure is Imagine someone or something that you love dearly. Maybe it is your parent, or grandparent, or pet, or child. Once you feel the love, imagine that love as a ball of energy coming outside your heart. Then let that loving energy grow and cover your whole body. Then send that energy to someone who you feel needs it or someone you feel negative emotions towards. Keep meditating daily until you get the results The loving kindness meditation will probably help you feel elevated emotions easier than the visualization, but the visualization has the benefit of helping you change your behavior throughout the day. Health Example 3: Miraculous Recovery from Cancer In Overcoming the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Dispenza shares the story of someone named Bill. Bill developed cancer after 30 years of resentment, which came from giving up what he wanted for the sake of others. He then attended a two week meditation retreat with Dr. Dispenza. Step 1: Observe your thoughts for negative emotions In the first week, he observed his thoughts, feelings, and unconscious thought patterns. He realized that he was holding onto emotional resentment in his unconscious mind without realizing it. Step 2: Let go of those negative emotions to the past After he realized this, he decided to stop any thought or behavior that was unloving toward himself. This decision helped him feel free, which released a lot of stuck energy in his body. Step 3: Visualize your new elevated self until it feels real Then he visualized how his new self: If anyone expressed a request to him, he would respond with kindness and generosity, and he would not make anyone feel like a burden. He did the visualization until he felt like that new Bill right now. After he got up from the mediation, he maintained that elevated state. Step 4: Keep mediating daily until you get the results Bill kept up his focused meditations for the the two-week retreat. After he flew back home, his doctors discovered that his cancer was completely gone! Dr. Dispenza explains that those cancer cells couldn't coexist with the new Bill because those elevated emotions created a new body chemistry for Bill. Part 5: Manifest Happy Relationships Relationships also have a health to them. If we want our relationships to be healthy, we need to send the other person (and the relationship) with lots of elevated emotions such as joy, gratitude, appreciation, and love. Marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman found that happy couples have at least 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction. He calls this "the magic ratio". Meanwhile, very happy couples have at least 20 positive interactions for every negative one. Dr. Gottman also found that the Four Horsemen that kill relationships are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. These all relate to low and negative emotions and result in ugly water crystals. When we maintain feelings of love, joy, and gratitude in our heart, then we will naturally act in accordance with those emotions, and the other person can't help but be influenced by our elevated emotions. Then the relationship will keep getting better. On the flip side, if we hold blame, resentment, and dissatisfaction in our hearts, our actions will reflect those emotions, and that will influence the other person for the worse. Example: Sending Elevated Emotions In Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Dispenza describes experiments he did to prove that our electromagnetic fields affect other people’s emotions. He got a group of 550 to 1500 students together. Then he picked 50 to 75 people randomly to sit in the front of the room. During the meditation session, the people all cultivated and sustained an elevated emotion. Then he told all the students to send the energy of their elevated emotions into the space of the whole room. Additionally, he told them to have the intention of wanting the greatest good or the students sitting in the front rows, for their lives to be enriched, their bodies healed, and mystical experiences to find them. The result? All those people sitting in the front row got coherent and elevated electromagnetic fields at the same time, in the same meditation, on the same day. They repeated this over and over and found consistent results, thereby proving that we can impact other people to feel elevated emotions with our elevated emotions. Cultivate Emotional Mastery You might be wondering, When the other person behaves badly or gets negative first, how can I not get upset? This is a very legitimate question. After all, quantum physics explains that their thoughts and emotions will affect us too. The answer lies in cultivating the strength of our own thoughts and emotions to be more powerful than theirs. Yoga Master Sadhguru said, "If somebody else can decide what can happen within you right now, isn't this the ultimate slavery?" American Nun Pema Chodron said, "Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions." Therefore, we need to cultivate mastery over our own emotions. Our elevated electromagnetic field needs to be stronger than their negative electromagnetic field. Then we can become unaffected by other people's negative emotions and instead positively affect them. That's why if an angry person goes up to an old monk, the old monk can calm him down just with his energy alone. Two useful ways to remain unaffected by other people's negative energy is to be humble and grateful. When we possess these two virtues, we can reframe other people’s negativity into good things: If they did something that made us upset, then they are teaching us that we are still a slave to the outside world, and so we can be grateful for their reminder. We probably have the same vice as them, so we can thank them for reminding us to not be like that. For example, if we don’t like them spreading their garbage to us, then we can see it as a reminder for us to not spread garbage to other people. They are giving us a chance to practice the virtues of tolerance and tranquility. For a more detailed discussion on how to not get affected by other people’s garbage, check out the article Don’t Be A Garbage Truck. Part 6: Manifest Healing the Environment Our electromagnetic field does not only affect our body and the people around us, it actually affects the whole environment around us. When we send out elevated emotions to our environment, that can actually purify and clean our environment, including the water, air, and soil! Example: Cleaning Polluted Water Using Thought Dr. Emoto also showed that our thoughts can purify and clean polluted rivers. In one instance, he managed to conduct an experiment in a bay at Lake Biwa in Japan. The water in the bay had been polluted for 20 years and smelled terrible. Dr. Emoto gathered over 100 people to pray by the bay, and the prayer was led by a monk who was over 90-years old. Specifically, the people were asked to sincerely and single-mindedly concentrate on one sentence, "Pure lake water, I love you". That's it. They did this for one hour. Image Source Three days later, the water in the bay became clean and pure, and the water crystals went from ugly to beautiful. This was very surprising even to Dr. Emoto, and it caught the attention of Japanese media. He managed to repeat the experiment for many other rivers in Japan, Korea, and Brazil. The bay water at Lake Biwa actually remained clean for half a year, then the water became polluted again as before the experiment. Think about it: A 1-hour prayer session purified the dirty water for half a year. Dr. Emoto comments that if people came to pray to the water every month, the river would remain clean forever. Part 7: Manifesting World Peace In Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Dispenza says, “To date, the power of temporary peace-gathering projects has been exhibited and thoroughly field tested in more than 50 demonstration projects and 23 peer-reviewed scientific studies scrutinized by independent scholars around the world. The results have consistently demonstrated a positive effect in the immediate reduction of crime, warfare, and terrorism by an average of greater than 70 percent.” In other words, when a group of people gather to meditate or pray, their collective electromagnetic field can create a change in physical reality without them physically doing anything. The key is that they feel the emotions of peace, unity, and oneness. Furthermore, the studies found that the more meditators and the longer they meditated, the greater the reduction of crime and violence in society afterwards. Example: Lebanon Peace Project A group of mediators were brought together in Jerusalem in August and September of 1983. The group was often large enough to achieve a “super radiance effect” for both Israel and nearby Lebanon, and the result included A 76% reduction of war deaths Reduced crime Reduced fires Decreased traffic accidents Less terrorism Increased economic growth These results were then replicated in seven more experiments over two years during the Lebanon war. All of this was the result of a large group of people combining their intention for peace (the electric part) with their emotions of love and compassion (the magnetic part) to create a powerful electromagnetic field that would fight against the electromagnetic field of the area. Dr. Dispenza comments “Can you imagine the results and positive effects, as well as the speed with which they would occur, if this type of meditation and mindfulness was a part of the education curriculum?” Start with Yourself Changing the world can be accomplished by us individually cultivating virtues and elevated emotions. We can also do daily meditation, whether that's visualization, loving-kindness, or mantra. Everything that helps us manifest health also helps to manifest a better world. As Gandhi said, "If you want to change the world, start with yourself." Conclusion Everything in the physical world is actually made of non-physical waves. When the waves become dense enough, they become physical matter. Our thoughts and emotions are also waves, and they influence all the waves (and physical matter) around us. Image Source The stronger our elevated energy is, the greater the influence we can have on the matter around us, and the faster we can manifest our mind's intention. Most people have low emotions and weak energy, so they keep manifesting their current, non-ideal reality. The three keys to manifesting a better reality are Have deep concentration Have elevated emotions (e.g., joy, gratitude, love) and get rid of low emotions (stress, fear, blame, victimization) Maintain elevated emotions Manifestation only works when what we think, feel, and do are constantly aligned. By cultivating our mind to become more virtuous, to think virtuous thoughts, speak virtuous words, and do virtuous deeds, then our virtuous energy will grow stronger and stronger each day, which will naturally manifest a better future. We can use manifestation to create health, happy relationships, environment purification, and even world peace. Let's make good use of those 6000-70,000 thoughts per day!