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Around 2500 years ago, during the Spring and Autumn period of China's history, Duke Jing was the ruler of the State of Qi, and Yanzi was one of his trusted ministers. One day, Duke Jing was drinking wine, and one of his ministers, Tian Huanzi, was attending by his side. After a while, Tian Huanzi saw Yanzi approaching from a distance and reported to Duke Jing, "Please penalize Yanzi by making him drink wine." Perplexed, Duke Jing asked, "What is the reason for your request?" Huanzi replied, "Your Highness, look at Yanzi. He wears cheap cloth and a coarse deer-pelt coat, and he rides to court in a worn-out cart drawn by an inferior horse. This is hiding the bountiful rewards Your Highness has bestowed upon him." (Pause: If you were Duke Jing, how would you respond?) Hearing this, Duke Jing found it reasonable and sighed, "Indeed!" Therefore, after Yanzi paid his respects to Duke Jing and took his seat, the wine-pourer presented a cup to him and said, "The Duke penalizes you to drink." Image Source: Gemini Surprised, Yanzi asked, "May I ask the reason?" Huanzi spoke up, "The Duke granted you the rank of a high minister to honor your status, and gave you a million coins to enrich your household. Among all the ministers, none holds a title more noble than yours, and none receives a stipend more generous than yours. Yet, you wear cloth garments and a deer-pelt coat, and ride to court in a worn-out cart and an inferior horse. This is hiding the Duke's kindness from the public. Therefore, you must be penalized with a drink." (Pause: If you were Yanzi, how would you respond?) Upon hearing this, Yanzi left his mat, stood up, and addressed Duke Jing: "Should your humble servant drink this penalty wine first and then explain, or explain first and then drink?" Duke Jing replied, "Explain first, then drink the penalty wine." Yanzi said: "Your Highness granted me the rank of a high minister to honor me, but I, Yan Ying, dare not accept this appointment for the sake of personal nobility; I accept it to carry out your commands. Your Highness granted me a million coins to enrich my household, but I dare not accept this wealth for personal gain; I accept it so that your benevolence may reach more people, thereby showcasing your kindness. I have heard that if the wise rulers of the past knew that a minister received a generous salary but failed to care for his impoverished relatives, they would reprimand him. If they knew a minister held office but failed to fulfill his responsibilities, they would reprimand him. If the ruler's close relatives or my own paternal elders and brothers are left scattered and neglected in the wild, that is my fault. If the ruler’s distant relatives or my own acquaintances are left displaced and wandering, that is my fault. If our armor is weak and our war chariots are flimsy, that too is my fault. But as for riding to court in a worn-out cart and an inferior horse, I believe this is truly not my fault. Furthermore, because of your generosity towards me, among my paternal relatives, there is none who does not ride in a carriage; among my maternal relatives, there is none who lacks food or clothing; among my wife's relatives, there is none who suffers from hunger or cold. In addition, there are hundreds of poor scholars throughout the state who rely on my assistance to survive. In a situation like this, am I hiding the ruler's kindness, or am I showcasing it?" Hearing this, Duke Jing was deeply moved and exclaimed, "Excellent! In that case, let us penalize Huanzi with a cup on my behalf!" (Story Source) Commentary Lao Zi said, "I have three treasures that I constantly hold firmly to: first is compassion, second is frugality, and third is not presuming to be at the head of the world. Compassion enables courage. Frugality enables broadness. Not presuming to be at the head of the world enables talent." Yanzi's role modeling showcases all three virtues. Firstly, he has a lot of compassion for others. He can't bear to see people impoverished, lacking food or clothing, which is why he does his best to help these people, starting with those closest to him (i.e., his relatives), then extending out to people in society (i.e., poor scholars). When the ruler criticized and wanted to punish him, he had no fear because he knew what he did was morally right. He could courageously explain to the ruler his reasoning. Thus, compassion enables courage. Second, he was very frugal. He wore clothes to keep warm, not to show off. He rode a carriage simply for transportation, not to show off. He focused on functionality, not extravagance. He was frugal not to save money for himself, but to save money to help more and more people. Thus, frugality enables broadness of heart. Third, he was very humble. When the ruler ordered him to drink wine as punishment, he didn't immediately argue back and say, "But I didn't do anything wrong!" Instead, he respectfully asked Duke Jing, "Should your humble servant drink this penalty wine first and then explain, or explain first and then drink?" Since Duke Jing felt respected, he would be more open to hearing Yanzi's explanation. Although Yanzi himself didn't really want to accept so much wealth and rank from the ruler, he still obeyed the ruler, and he used it to help the public. After explaining himself, Yanzi didn't say, "So you see, clearly, I am not hiding the kindness of the ruler. I am showcasing it!" He said, "In a situation like this, am I hiding the ruler's kindness, or am I showcasing it?" He was never arrogant, thinking himself to be definitely right, or thinking himself equal to his ruler. He always maintained a humble attitude. It's surely because of his humility that he could learn and cultivate such a virtuous character. Moreover, when others see his great role modeling, they would be inspired too. Thus, humility enables talent for both oneself and others. Although we might not be ministers receiving a generous salary from a ruler, we might receive generous gifts from others. In such a situation, how would you respond? I imagine Yanzi would act according to rules of etiquette. It's appropriate to politely decline at first, saying that it's too much. But if they insist, we shouldn't be stubborn. We can accept it and help share their gift with others, thereby showcasing their generosity. We might also be in a financially well-off situation. Or we might already be very frugal. What do we do with extra money? Are we just keeping it for our future use? Or for our children? Or can we broaden our heart like Yanzi and use our extra wealth to help those in need, starting with relatives and then extending out to those in society? When others criticize us, do we immediately argue our innocence? Do we explain our rationale and then tell them definitely that they are wrong? Or can we be humble like Yanzi? Conclusion Yanzi was a person that Confucius admired, and from his stories, it's pretty clear why! Although Laozi never mentioned Yanzi, I believe that Laozi would praise Yanzi too because Yanzi also role models Laozi's three treasures: compassion, frugality, and humility. As for us, admiration is not enough. We need to emulate his virtues in our daily life. In this way, Yanzi and the past sages would be proud of us. Weekly Wisdom #405

Around 2500 years ago, during the Spring and Autumn period of China's history, Duke Jing was the ruler of the State of Qi, and Yanzi was one of his trusted ministers. One time, a relentless torrential rain lasted for seventeen days. Houses collapsed, food and grain became scarce, and the weather grew bitterly cold. Many people suffered from hunger and freezing temperatures, left with no shelter, trapped in a desperate plight. When Duke Jing heard of the disaster, he didn't do anything to help. Instead, he continued to indulge in lavish meals and spent his days and nights drinking and enjoying entertainment. (Pause: If you were Yanzi, what would you do?) Distressed by the people's suffering, Yanzi grew deeply anxious. He immediately requested that Duke Jing release the grain stored in the government granaries to relieve the disaster victims so that they could safely survive the crisis. Image Source: Gemini Yet despite Yanzi’s repeated pleadings, Duke Jing refused to agree. Furthermore, during this time of peril, the Duke dispatched a close minister named Bo to search the country for skilled singers and dancers. (Pause: If you were Yanzi, what would you do?) Although disappointed with the Duke, Yanzi still resolved to help the victims. He distributed the stored grain from his own estate to the disaster victims and provided his family's tools for them to use, doing everything in his power to assist them. Once he did everything in his own power to help, he decided to visit the Duke again. However, he did not ride his carriage like usual. Instead, he walked by foot. Upon seeing the Duke, Yanzi bowed and said: "The excessive rain has poured for seventeen days. So many houses have collapsed. So many households have nothing to eat. In this freezing weather, the elderly, the weak, women, and children lack clothes to fend off the cold, and they cannot find food to satisfy their hunger. Now, with walls collapsed and homes destroyed, they are left homeless, looking around in utter despair, weeping helplessly. Yet, Your Highness is not helping them, but instead drinking day and night, even sending Bo out to scout the country for singers and dancers. In the palace, the horses are fed with grain from the inner granary, and the dogs are fed with beef and mutton. The consorts across the three palaces are dressed in fine silks and enjoy delicacies. Comparing the two, is the treatment of your dogs, horses, and consorts not too extravagant? And is the treatment of the common people not too cruel? May I ask, when the villages are filled with desperate, starving, and freezing disaster victims who have nowhere to turn, how can Your Highness find the heart to drink and make merry? I am responsible for recording court affairs, serving alongside the officials at court to assist Your Highness in stabilizing the country and benefiting the people. Yet, the people are left starving, impoverished, and helpless, while Your Highness is immersed in wine and music, ignoring the victims. My offense is truly too great! Thus, with a heavy heart, I submit my resignation and will return to my hometown." He then gave his written resignation to the Duke, stood up and left swiftly. Image Source: Gemini (Pause: If you were Duke Jing, what would you do?) Hearing these heartfelt words, Duke Jing felt shocked and deeply ashamed. Soon after Yanzi departed, the Duke ran out after him, hoping to retain his services. However, the rainy day made the roads slippery and muddy. No matter how hard Duke Jing ran, he could not catch up with Yanzi. Fearing Yanzi would leave for good, he immediately ordered his attendants to ready the carriage and pursue him to his home. . When Duke Jing arrived at Yanzi’s residence, Yanzi was nowhere to be found. He only saw that the grain in Yanzi’s granary had all been taken by the disaster victims, and his tools were left scattered in disorder on the road. Duke Jing then drove his carriage further until he finally caught up with Yanzi at a crossroad. Seeing Yanzi, Duke Jing quickly stepped down from his carriage, walked up to him, and said: "I was wrong and didn't listen to you, so you left. Though I am not worthy of greatness, will you just abandon the common people? Please, remain by my side. I will distribute the grain and wealth stored in the inner granary to the disaster victims. The amount given shall be entirely at your command." Image Source: Gemini (Pause: If you were Yanzi, what would you do?) Hearing this, Yanzi was relieved and accepted the Duke's offer. Thus, Duke Jing reinstated Yanzi right there on the road, and Yanzi returned to the court. Upon returning to court, Yanzi immediately initiated a structured relief plan. Officials were dispatched to investigate the disaster victims and provide them with adequate food, clothing, firewood, and repair funds. The investigation was to be completed in three days, and any official who neglected their duty would be punished for disobeying orders. Duke Jing also stayed at the court to personally direct and supervise the ministers. He reduced his own daily meals, removing meat and wine. He ordered that horses no longer be fed grain and dogs no longer be fed meat porridge, while also cutting back the rewards given to his favorite courtiers. When the three-day deadline arrived, all responsible officials completed their tasks on schedule and reported the results of the relief efforts. They assisted 17,000 poor households, distributed 970,000 zhongs of grain, distributed 13,000 cartloads of firewood, and provided 3000 gold pieces of relief funds. Image Source: Gemini Following this, Duke Jing further reduced his meals, put away the zithers and harps, and ceased the display of bells and drums, sharing this difficult time with the disaster victims. Later, acting on Yanzi’s advice, Duke Jing dismissed his favored courtiers, as well as the singers, dancers, and those who encouraged idle pleasure. As a result, 3,000 favored maidservants were removed from the rolls, and three or four favored officials were expelled from the palace doors. The disaster relief work concluded successfully. The people were overjoyed, deeply grateful for the Duke's benevolence, and the whole nation weathered the crisis safely with unity. (Story Source) Commentary In another story, Duke Jing drank for seven days and nights, neglecting court duties. A minister named Hong Zhang couldn't take it anymore and said, "Your Grace has drunk for seven days! Please stop at once. If you will not, then grant me death instead!" I suspect Hong Zhang got a bit anxious and impatient with the Duke, which is why he said such words. I wondered what Yanzi might have done. This story seems to give an answer. If Yanzi truly did his utmost to advise his ruler, but the ruler still does not listen, then it seems he'll resign with a heavy heart. The drinking incident was less severe than this disaster incident, which might be why Yanzi didn't resign in the drinking incident. An important point to note is that Yanzi did not resign because he looks down on the Duke as a bad leader. Rather, he felt that it is his moral duty to help the Duke be the best ruler possible. If he lacks the ability to help the Duke be good, then he feels unqualified for the role, so he should not be receiving the high salary and benefits of the role. I think that's why when he went to see the Duke, he didn't dare to ride his carriage, and he first gave a bow to the Duke. Reflecting on ourselves, if we are employees, are we truly deserving of the salary we earn? Do we give our best to serve our employer and help our leader improve? Or do we just clock-in and clock-out with a "another day another dollar" attitude? If we are leaders, do we do our utmost to lead our followers towards a better future? If we are still students in school, do we do our best in our studies to be worthy of receiving the support from our parents, teachers, and nation? Fulfilling our moral duties is helping ourselves and others to accumulate merit and fortune. Neglecting our moral duties is cheating ourselves and others. I also wondered if Yanzi was using his resignation as a last resort to help awaken the Duke. But I think that's not his primary intent. Otherwise, why would he leave so swiftly? If he was using his resignation sort of as a threat to get the Duke to change, then he would leave slowly, hoping the Duke might say, "No, please, don't leave! I'll change!" I think Yanzi truly felt like he didn't deserve the role of minister, and he truly felt he failed at his job, which is why he left so swiftly. If the Duke wasn't so sincere in admitting his faults, requesting Yanzi to stay, and promising to follow Yanzi's advice, then I don't think Yanzi would have stayed. Yanzi follows morality, not any individual ruler. Besides, people can sense insincerity and ulterior motives. If Yanzi was just putting on a show, threatening to resign, then the Duke might feel like Yanzi is challenging his authority, in which case the Duke might just let him resign and not care about him. Such was the case with Hong Zhang. Thus, threatening others will not cause others to change out of their own accord, and I'm sure Yanzi understood this principle. Relating back to ourselves, we shouldn't threaten others to change. Instead, we need to awaken others' sense of morality so that they willingly change out of their own accord. In order to do that, we need to act with morality and set a virtuous example towards those around us. If others lack kindness, I role model kindness without demanding it from them. If others lack respect, I role model respect despite their disrespect towards me. When others see us treating them well despite them not treating us well, they will eventually feel ashamed, and their sense of morality will arise. Finally, I wonder what would've happened if the Duke didn't chase after Yanzi. I don't think Yanzi was betting on the Duke to chase after him. So what was his plan then? I speculate that he would find other ways to help the disaster victims or serve the people. I don't think he would go serve another state's ruler because that would be disloyal to his Duke. Maybe he would roam around different villages in the State of Qi, teaching people morality and life skills like Emperor Shun did. Or he might live as a recluse until Duke Jing or a future ruler sincerely asks him for his services, like what Zhuge Liang did. Those are just my speculations anyway. Conclusion As leaders, we ought to feel compassion for those below us, feel their suffering as our own suffering, and help them as we would help ourselves. This is the way to gain the people's hearts. No one is perfect, so it's also extremely important for leaders to listen to the advice and criticisms of all the subordinates and people. As subordinates, we ought to do our best to help our leader be the best leader they can be. We patiently advise with sincerity and respect. If the leader refuses to listen, we don't blame them as being too stubborn. Instead, we blame ourselves as lacking wisdom and credentials. We then reflect on whether we deserve the position we are in. When we set a moral and virtuous example, always focused on doing what's morally right, then we will have a clear conscience. Moreover, our morality will help awaken others' morality so that they will feel motivated to change out of their own accord. Weekly Wisdom #404

Yanzi lived at the time of Confucius and was highly respected by Confucius. Previously we looked at a few of his stories: How Yanzi diffused his ruler's anger How Yanzi humiliated his humiliator How Yanzi made his ruler look good How Yanzi graciously refused his ruler Today, we'll look at another story on how he turned his ruler's embarrassing situation into encouragement. Around 2500 years ago, during the Spring and Autumn period of China's history, Duke Jing was the ruler of the State of Qi, and Yanzi was one of his trusted ministers. One day, Duke Jing had an urge to climb a tree and scoop out a sparrow's nest. He then pulled a chick out and saw that it was really small, so he gently placed the chick back inside the nest. Image Source: Gemini Yanzi found out about this incident, and he went at once to see the Duke. Since the Duke had just climbed a tree and put the sparrow back in its nest, he was sweating profusely, his clothing was messy, and his appearance no longer regal. Just as he turned his head, he saw Yanzi standing there, and he was a bit startled. (Pause: If you were Yanzi, what would you think of the Duke and say to him?) Yanzi bowed and asked, "May I ask what Your Grace was just doing to be in such a state?" The Duke sheepishly replied, "I was just looking for some sparrows to take, but when I saw the chicks were too small, I put them back." (Pause: If you were Yanzi, what would you say to the Duke?) Hearing this, Yanzi stepped back a little, turned to the north, and bowed twice. He congratulated the Duke, saying "My lord has the way of a sage king!" Image Source: Gemini The Duke was surprised and said, "I was merely taking sparrows and then putting them back because they were too small. What does that have to do with the way of a sage king?" Yanzi answered, “Your Grace took out the sparrows, but seeing they were too small, you returned them to the nest. This shows your compassion for the young and weak. If such kindness is extended even to birds, how much more will it be extended to people? This compassion is precisely the way of a sage king.” Hearing this, Duke Jing felt very encouraged and gained more motivation to be a great leader. (Story Source) Commentary When we see others do something silly or make a fool out of themselves, what do we do? Do we laugh at them? Or criticize them? What's the result? Perhaps they'll feel bad about themselves. Or they'll argue with us. Or worse, they’ll resent us. For Duke Jing, the ruler of a state, to be climbing a tree and taking sparrows from a nest was quite a silly sight. It's not a kingly thing to do. He became all sweaty, messy, and lost his majestic manner. Other people might've laughed or mocked him, but Yanzi did not. Instead, Yanzi covered up the Duke's embarrassment and turned it into praise by focusing on the spark of compassion within the Duke's actions. He seized the opportunity to encourage the Duke and guide him towards virtue. The Duke might not have thought about how he could be more kind towards his people, but when Yanzi told him that his kindness towards even little sparrows reflects the deep sage-like kindness within him, he would naturally be inspired to practice more kindness towards the people and emulate the past sage kings. This really shows how devoted Yanzi is to his ruler, seizing every opportunity to grow his ruler's virtues, to help the ruler govern well and benefit the people. If we truly want to help others succeed, we would do well to learn from Yanzi. Moreover, when the people around us are well, how can we not be lifted up with them? Conclusion The next time someone makes a mistake or does something silly, rather than laugh at them, think about how you could cover up for them and affirm their good points. When people get encouraged despite their mistakes, they will feel very grateful and be self-motivated to improve. Weekly Wisdom #403

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WELCOME I believe that the key to a happy and successful life is wisdom. When we think wisely, we act wisely. Then we naturally reap joy and success. ​ I started this blog to ensure that I grow in wisdom every week, while also sharing useful learnings with others. These are my personal learnings and experiences, but perhaps they can help others avoid my past suffering and to gain happiness. ​ Feel free to browse around, use the search bar, or click on any of the buttons below to read about popular topics on this blog. ​ Happiness Relationships Success Productivity Health Communication All Top Picks Stories Health 中文 Book Summaries Ancient Wisdom Weekly Wisdom Short Wisdoms Wisdom Quotes Alex Chen 13 hours ago 11 min 22 Things I'm Grateful For In 2022 In honour of Thanksgiving 2022, here are 22 things I am grateful for. What about you? 0 comments 1 like. Post not marked as liked 1 Alex Chen Oct 2 6 min Yielding & Humility ≠ Being Weak Being yielding and humble are excellent and important traits. At the same time, we mustn't become weak, insincere, or resentful. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Sep 25 18 min Ten Ways To Deal With Difficult People (And Even Work Well With Them) How can we deal with difficult people, or even better, work well with them? Here are 10 useful and practical solutions from Stoicism. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Sep 18 4 min Ten Tips for Suicide Prevention September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day, and shortly after that, a classmate in my Chinese philosophy class told us she was having... 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Sep 11 4 min 50 Fun Jokes That Don't Make Fun of Others I am a big fan of good humor, and I think everyone would enjoy more laughter in their lives. Here are 50 fun and respectful jokes. Enjoy! 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Sep 4 7 min Take Blame, Give Glory Normal people avoid blame and take glory. Wise people take blame and give glory. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Aug 27 7 min Don't Play The Blame Game Rather than blaming others and the outside world, focus on taking responsibility and giving reciprocity. 0 comments 8 likes. Post not marked as liked 8 Alex Chen Aug 21 5 min Stoic Joy is Real Joy Real joy, according to Stoicism, comes from a deep sense of purpose, inner confidence, and emotional stability. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Aug 13 6 min Lessons From Lao Zi’s Teacher Four parting lessons from Lao Zi's teacher: 1. Be grateful to our roots, 2. Respect elders, 3. Respect Nature, 4. Be soft and adaptable. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Aug 7 4 min How to Handle The Death of Loved Ones 1. Be loving while they are alive. 2. Follow the Middle Way. 3. Ask them their wishes for you. 4. Carry on their dreams. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Jul 31 11 min The Enlightened Mind - Explanation and Application Enlighten your mind, and your world will change accordingly. Have sincerity, purity, equality, wisdom, and compassion. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jul 25 4 min Commemorating Venerable Master Jing Kong 2022 A bittersweet (mostly sweet) commemoration of my idol and teacher, Venerable Master Jing Kong. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jul 23 20 min Seven Timely Acts of Love Love and respect are not just empty words, they are shown on a daily basis through each and every small action. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Jul 15 6 min Why So Harsh On Yourself? Are you harsh and demanding towards yourself or your loved ones? If so, let's untangle that knot for you. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Jul 8 3 min The Old Man And His Grandson A short story on the The Golden Rule and the importance of role modeling. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Jul 5 6 min Learnings From A Wise Friend Major learnings from my wise friend over the past year in honor of his birthday. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Jul 1 3 min Can You Feel Their Hardship? No one is perfect. Do you focus on their hardships, efforts, and contributions? Or do you focus on their imperfections? 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jun 29 3 min The Body is The Temple of The Soul How my mother and I came to value cooking and nourishing the body more. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jun 24 5 min Confucius Worries Too "Not cultivating virtues, not striving to learn, not emulating others' goodness, and not correcting bad behavior, these are my worries." 0 comments 4 likes. Post not marked as liked 4 Alex Chen Jun 18 5 min Is it my responsibility to know what you want? The answer...it depends on if I truly love them or if I just want a transactional relationship. 0 comments 4 likes. Post not marked as liked 4 1/14 22 Things I'm Grateful For In 2022 0 1 like. Post not marked as liked 1 Yielding & Humility ≠ Being Weak 0 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Ten Ways To Deal With Difficult People (And Even Work Well With Them) 0 6 likes. 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