The Daily Stoic is a book with 366 quotes from Stoic philosophers on how to live a good life. I had previously read this a couple years ago and benefited a lot from it, and I've decided to read it again this year. Every day, I read the quote, the explanation, and then journal my thoughts and reflections. At the end of each month, I review my reflections and summarize the month. The theme for September is "fortitude and resilience", and this article will summarize my September reflections: To be resilient, remember your power of choice. Adjust your attitude. Train for adversity during the good times. Image Source: GPT 1: To be resilient, remember your power of choice September 6: "You can bind up my leg, but not even Zeus has the power to break my freedom of choice." —Epictetus September 28: "How appropriate that the gods put under our control only the most powerful ability that governs all the rest—the ability to make the right use of external appearances—and that they didn't put anything else under our control. Was this simply because they weren't willing to give us more? I think if it had been possible, they would have given us more, but it was impossible." —Epictetus In order to be strong and resilient, we must remind ourselves that no matter what happens, we can always choose how we respond. We should judge ourselves not on what happens to us, which is outside our control, but rather how we respond to what happens, which is within our control. Our freedom our choice is our greatest gift. As long as we use this gift, we will have strength. September 14: "Try praying differently, and see what happens: Instead of asking for 'a way to sleep with her,' try asking for 'a way to stop desiring to sleep with her.' Instead of 'a way to get rid of him,' try asking for 'a way to not crave his demise.' Instead of 'a way to not lose my child,' try asking for 'a way to lose my fear of it.'" —Marcus Aurelius Image Source: Unsplash The most foundational choice we make is our desires and expectations. If we seek something that is outside our control (i.e., external circumstances), we are bound to have disappointment. If we seek only what is in our control (i.e., our own thoughts and actions), we will have strength. Philosophy is an inner learning and an inner seeking. Instead of wishing the outside would change, philosophers seek to adapt themselves to the circumstances. In this way, the obstacle becomes the way. September 24: "He [Seneca] was sentenced to commit suicide. As the historian Tacitus relates the scene, Seneca's closest friends wept and protested the verdict. 'Where,' Seneca asked them repeatedly, 'are your maxims of philosophy, or the preparations of so many years' study against evils to come? Who knew not Nero's cruelty?'" —Ryan Holiday I really admire Seneca's response to being framed and ordered to commit suicide by the tyrant Nero. He wasn't super scared. He practiced what Marcus Aurelius said. He did seek for a way to escape this death sentence, which is out of his control. Instead, he focused on what was in his control: how he responds. All his past learning and training of Stoicism gave him the strength he needed to face such a crisis with composure and virtue. September 17: "What if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will see to it that I won't be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that. But I will see to it that I'm kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater where the went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully." —Marcus Aurelius This quote reminds me of another quote by Jim Rohn: "Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom. The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. Success is not to be pursed, it is to be attracted by the person you become." Again, philosophy is an inner seeking, meaning philosophers seek to cultivate themselves, not fix others. What others do is their matter. What I do is my matter. If I’m only kind to good people, what’s special about that? If I can be kind to even bad people and haters, then that’s true kindness, and that’s the kindness of real philosophers. Moreover, people get influenced more through actions than words. If a person is mean to you, yet you continue to treat them with kindness, eventually, they’ll feel guilty and change their ways. Thus, when we focus on correcting ourselves, we naturally influence others to correct themselves. But if we demand others to change, we will have the energy of opposition towards them, naturally bring out their energy of opposition towards us. Thus, we shouldn't wish for the outside to change, but instead wish for ourselves to be able to respond skillfully. My Practice Before I used to judge myself a lot on results and on what happens to me. These things often didn’t go according to my wishes, so I had disappointment and complaints. After learning philosophy, I started to judge myself based on how I respond to circumstances, which is fully in my control. Do I respond with calm, kindness, and rationality? Or do I respond with negative emotions? After making this shift, my sense of self-confidence and peace increased gradually. When I get annoyed at people who are rude, unreliable, excessive, or negative, I remind myself that I only have the right to manage and correct myself. Trying to manage others when they don’t even want me to is stepping out of my jurisdiction, meaning it is a wrong on my part. As long as I manage myself well, others will naturally and indirectly get influenced for the better. 2: Adjust your attitude Most people dislike challenges, discomfort, and adversity. Philosophers wouldn’t go around seeking excessive hardship, but they do accept the fact that hardships are inevitable in life, and given that they’re inevitable, it’s better to face them positively with gratitude than to face them negatively like a helpless victim. Why should we be grateful for challenges and adversity? Because they make us stronger. September 4: "I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you." —Seneca Those who face little difficulty in life get accustomed to ease and leisure, making them weak in mind, spirit, and abilities. In the future, when adversity strikes, they’ll lack the resilience to handle it. Thus, their future becomes ever more dangerous. On the other hand, those who face a lot of difficulty and overcome them become strong in mind, spirit, and abilities. Their future will be bright. September 16: "Success comes to the lowly and to the poorly talented, but the special characteristic of a great person is to triumph over the disasters and panics of human life." —Seneca Greatness is not about being lucky in life. Greatness is about overcoming obstacles and mastering ourselves along the way. September 22: "Difficulties show a person's character. So when a challenge confronts you, remember that God is matching you with a younger sparring partner, as would a physical trainer. Why? Becoming an Olympian takes sweat! I think no one has a better challenge than yours, if only you would use it like an athlete would that younger sparring partner." —Epictetus This quote also reminds me of another quote by Mencius: "When the world is about to confer a great responsibility on someone, it will exercise his mind with suffering, subject his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, toughen his nature, and mend his incompetencies." As philosophers, we seek to make the world a better place. In order to do that, we have to cultivate our virtues and abilities. If we truly have this aspiration, then we will view the inevitable challenges and difficulties in life as fuel for our growth rather than as misfortune. The more effective our attitude, the better the results. Moreover, rarely does life give us a challenge that we cannot overcome. If we have a negative attitude, we’ll complain about all these troubles and inconveniences, and we’ll make ourselves feel terrible. If instead, we have a philosopher’s attitude, we’ll view everything as an opportunity to improve our cultivation, and we’ll have faith that we can definitely overcome these challenges and grow from them. Is that not joyful? September 29: "Nothing can satisfy greed, but even a small measure satisfies nature. So it is that the poverty of an exile brings no misfortune, for no place of exile is so barren as not to produce ample support for a person." —Seneca "When we become successful, we forget how strong we used to be. We are so used to what we have, we half believe we'd die without it…Your actual needs are small. There is very little that could happen that would truly threaten your survival. Think about that—and adjust your worries and fears accordingly." —Ryan Holiday Our feelings towards a situation is dependent on how we view the situation. We become emotional when we think we cannot get something that is very important to us. However, a lot of what we deem to be important might actually not be all that important or necessary. We must get clear on the must-haves versus the nice-to-haves. We really don't need much for survival. Don’t be a slave to nice-to-haves. My Practice I used to dislike and complain about minor troubles and inconveniences in life, and I feared adversity. After I started learning philosophy, I came to accept the fact that difficulties and adversities are inevitable in life. Given that they’re inevitable, I may as well face them with a positive attitude rather than a negative one. This is a very important choice that we have to consciously make. I also noticed that everything I learned from philosophy are everywhere in daily life. Though the teachings are simple, they are by no means easy. Cultivating virtues and correcting vices takes a lot of perseverance and effort! Moreover, as we elevate in ability, the world seems to give us bigger and higher challenges. But as long as we persevere and endure, we eventually overcome these challenges and feel the joy of growth. With our improved abilities, we can serve the world even more. 3: Train for adversity during the good times September 10: "Here's a lesson to test your mind's mettle: take part of a week in which you have only the most meager and cheap food, dress scantly in shabby clothes, and ask yourself if this is really the worst that you feared. It is when times are good that you should gird yourself for tougher times ahead, for when Fortune is kind the soul can build defenses against her ravages. So it is that soldiers practice maneuvers in peacetime, erecting bunkers with no enemies in sight and exhausting themselves under no attack so that when it comes they won't grow tired." —Seneca Image Source: Unsplash This is one of the first quotes I heard related to Stoicism, and it really resonated with me. Indeed, we should use the good times to prepare for the hard times, for hard times are guaranteed in life. In the process of preparing and training, we improve our abilities, and then we’ll feel that these hardships aren’t as hard as we imagined. Mencius said something similar: "Life comes from worry and hardship. Death comes from ease and enjoyment." (生於憂患，死於安樂) A good role model is Cato the Younger. September 1: "Cato the Younger had enough money to dress in fine clothing. Yet he often walked around Rome barefoot, indifferent to assumptions people made about him as he passed. He could have indulged in the finest food. He chose instead to eat simple fare. Whether it was raining or intensely hot, he went bareheaded by choice. Why not indulge in some easy relief? Because Cato was training his soul to be strong and resilient." —Ryan Holiday The things most people are most attached to include reputation, food, and comfort. Cato trained himself to be indifferent to these things. He let go of reputation by living like a poor person and not caring that others might view him as poor. He let go of demands towards food by eating simple fare. He let go of comfort by dressing simply and going bareheaded despite rain or heat. Cato really practiced Seneca’s teachings. I imagine he probably gradually exposed himself to increasing levels of challenge. Slowly, he grew resistant to these things so that they wouldn’t be able to disturb his peace of mind. September 8: "No one is crushed by Fortune, unless they are first deceived by her…those who aren't pompous in good times, don't have their bubbles burst with change. Against either circumstance, the stable person keeps their rational soul invincible, for it's precisely in the good times they prove their strength against adversity." —Seneca "At any moment, we may be toppled from our perch and made to do with less—less money, less recognition, less access, less resources. Even the 'less-es' that come with age: less mobility, less energy, less freedom…So today, we can try to get used to having and surviving on less so that if we are ever forced to have less, it would not be so bad." —Ryan Holiday In good times, we have to maintain vigilance and not be deceived into comfort and arrogance. We can train ourselves by simulating difficult times. In difficult times, we maintain our rationality and guard against negative emotions. Thus, regardless if we are in favourable or unfavourable situations, there are virtues to cultivate and vices to guard against. This reminds me of a quote from Lian Fan’s Four Lessons: "In any case of destiny, we should always prepare for the worst; therefore, even in times of prosperity, you must act as if you were not prosperous, and when things are going your way, you must be mindful of adversity. When you are wealthy, be mindful of poverty, and when loved and respected by all, you must remain careful and conservative. When the family is greatly respected and revered, you must carry yourself humbly, and when your learning is broad and deep, you must not display it, but keep it humbly within." September 23: "Proper training can change your default habits. Train yourself to give up anger, and you won't be angry at every fresh slight. Train yourself to avoid gossip, and you won't get pulled into it. Train yourself on any habit, and you'll be able to unconsciously go to that habit in trying times. Think about which behaviors you'd like to be able to default to if you could. How many of them have you practiced only once? Let today be twice." —Ryan Holiday "I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick ten thousand times." —Bruce Lee There isn’t any secret to cultivation. If we had to say there was a secret, we might say it is specialized training. Focus on training one thing at a time, and you will master it faster. If we spread our efforts over too many things at one time, we will struggle at all of them. Habits are not easy to change. But if we focus on changing just one habit every single day for a period of time, that habit might not be as hard to change as we imagined. The key is to have focus and patience. Conclusion September was all about fortitude and resilience. In order to have resilience, first, we have to remember to focus on our power of choice. No matter what happens to us, we can always choose our response, and that’s what we should judge ourselves on. Second, we need to adjust our attitude. Challenges are here to help us grow and elevate. Rather than get annoyed at them, we can view them as gifts or training for our growth. Finally, we should have vigilance and train for the tough times in the good times. Weekly Wisdom #414

Have you ever encountered a situation where someone was talking about something, and they mentioned something that you didn't do well, but they weren't intentionally trying to make you look bad. In fact, their main point was something else. However, you still felt a bit upset. Or perhaps they were talking about one of their successes or strengths, and it made you think about your failures. They weren't trying to make you think about your deficiencies, but that's how you felt. Recently, I made this mistake many times, and a colleague graciously advised me on this. I then realized these types of situations are actually quite common in daily life. In the Treatise on Cause and Effect, Laozi said, "Do not expose others' shortcomings or highlight our strengths." The Guidelines for Learners explains in further detail: "Towards others’ flaws, help to conceal. Towards others’ secrets, never reveal. Praising others’ goodness is a goodness itself. When people hear praise, they’ll encourage themselves. Spreading others’ wrongs is a wrong itself. Excessive hate and slander will lead to disaster." If we criticize and broadcast other people's faults in public, it will make them look bad. That is very unkind on our part. Even if the content of our criticism is true, their ego will be hurt, and they will get angry at us. Thus, when excessive slander creates a lot of hatred, disaster will follow. They might retaliate against us or intentionally be even worse just to show their opposition against us. Thus, if we are going to criticize, we need to make sure to do it privately with a kind and respectful manner. On the other hand, when people receive praise, they naturally feel encouraged and want to live up to our praise. I remember one of my teachers saying, "I've never heard a person say, 'I can't take it anymore. All I hear are encouragements, encouragements, encouragements.' On the flip side, the most common complaint is, 'You can do a hundred things right and not hear a thing about it. Do one thing wrong, and blame comes right away.' Image Source: GPT The concept of "concealing others faults and our strengths" sounds simple, but if we're not sensitive, we might unintentionally draw attention to others' faults or seem to be gloating about ourselves in other people's eyes even though that's not our intention. Thus, we have to increase our level of sensitivity and social acuity. Below are some examples I encountered recently. Example 1: Praise from a parent At my school, every morning, teachers share good deeds that students did the day before. Students and parents can also share what they observed. One mother told me, "My husband said that in the past, our daughter would have a bad attitude towards him and get angry at him, but after learning the Guidelines for Learners, she has improved a lot and usually does what we ask her to do without giving us attitude." I then shared this with the principal to be read in front of all the students. Later, a colleague told me, "We shouldn't expose others' faults. People might gain a bad impression of that student, as if she were a very rebellious kid who used to disobey and get angry at her dad easily." I said, "Really? But this is a praise. It's saying that in the past, she used to be somewhat disrespectful, but now she's not. It shows that no one is perfect, and improvement is what matters most. Besides, getting upset and impatient at parents is really common nowadays, so we want to show that she is relatable, and that if she can change, we can all change. I don't see why it's inappropriate." He said, "It would be fine if she was the one who said, 'In the past, I used to be rude and get angry with my dad. But now, after learning, I became much better.' She can talk about her own past faults. But we shouldn't be drawing attention to her past faults. Other people will still get a bad impression of her, and she might feel upset." Later, I reflected on his words more. Laozi said to not expose others' shortcomings. Why? To not upset other people's ego or hurt their reputation. If I were the girl in that situation, and I heard a teacher reading what my parent wrote about me, would I feel upset? Well, I think everyone gets upset at their parents, so it's not like it's saying I'm a terrible person, and it's actually emphasizing that I can change. However, when it comes to etiquette, we need to consider people who have extremely sensitive egos. If I were very sensitive, I might get upset and think, "Why do you need to draw attention to my past faults? That's in the past already!" Or "When I got upset at my parents, it's because they truly wronged me! Stop making it seem like I'm the bad one!" Moreover, when other people hear us talking about someone's past faults as if it were a normal thing to do, they might do that too, and they might start sharing even bigger faults of other people, leading to conflict and resentment. Thus, I could see my colleague's point. If I could go back in time and re-do it, what would I do? I would let the principal say, "This student's parents said that after learning the Guidelines for Learners, she has improved a lot in her attitude, such as being respectful when communicating with parents and accepting criticism humbly." Another important point to note is that if I were talking to a group of people who did not know the person in question, I could just anonymize the name, then I could directly state what happened. This is precisely what I'm doing in this article. Everyone would understand that we're just discussing this matter for learning purposes. No one would have a bad impression of this person because they don't even know who this person is. Example 2: Self-praise from a student One student wrote, "When my mom told me to do something, I didn't do it right away. Then she shouted at me to go do it. I wanted to shout back, but I didn't. I went and did it right away." If you had to share this with others, how would you word it? We certainly want to affirm this student's self-control, but at the same time, we don't want to draw attention to the mother's lack of emotional control. I might say, "One student said that when her mother told her to do something, she didn't do it right away, and her mom got impatient with her. In the past, she might talk back to her mom impolitely, but this time, she didn't. She went and did it for her mom right away." Example 3: Unintentionally showing off During a staff meeting, I was reporting on my class. My class has quite a few troublemakers, and I said that they've improved a lot compared to the past year. For context, I was not their homeroom teacher last year, but this year I am. Later, one of their past teachers started arguing with me, saying that their improvement is nowhere near enough, and that we need to be more strict with them. I then argued that last year, the strictness wasn't effective, that it wasn't truly solving their problems. We need a right degree of strictness and patience for them to change. Later, a colleague (the same colleague from before) advised me again (thank you!). He said, "We shouldn't boast about our strengths or success. When you said that the class has improved a lot compared to last year, you indirectly implied that the teachers last year didn't do a good job, and that you're much better. That's also why they started opposing you." I was again reminded of the fact that I need to improve my social sensitivity and acuity. We can't only think from our own perspective, "I was just saying my observation." We need to think about how others, especially those with a sensitive ego, might interpret and MISinterpret our words. So if you were in my situation back then at the staff meeting, what would you do? If I could go back in time to that staff meeting, I would say, "The students have improved in the past month on ABC matters. I think the teachers last year also set a great foundation. In the next month, we will focus on XZY matters." Very factual. No risk of being misunderstood as gloating. No risk of upsetting others. In fact, it gives credit to others. Example 4: Unintentionally highlighting faults During a meeting with parents of students from my class, I reported on each student's progress. I said, "It's been one month into the semester, and one thing we've emphasized in class is time management. I require all the students to write down a daily time log of what they did and when they did it. Bob keeps saying he forgets to write it. I told him it's fine, nurturing a habit takes time. Maybe Bob's parents can help encourage him and share your thoughts on keeping a time log with him." Later, I reflected that what I said made Bob look bad, which might make his parents feel embarrassed in front of all the other parents. My intention was to get the parents to help me motivate Bob to keep a time log, but I wasn't socially acute enough to sense how my words would get interpreted. If I could go back in time, I would say, "Recently we've been emphasizing time management, and each student has been tasked with keeping a daily time log. Parents, please check with your child on how they are doing with the time log. You can ask them to send pictures to you. Some students aren't used to doing it yet, so your support in helping them nurture this habit would be very helpful." If necessary, I could message Bob's parents privately. But even that requires necessity, because I don't want the parents to think I have prejudice against their child. Example 5: Unintentionally making others look bad Some teachers and students were having a meal around the dinner table. There were 10 of us, but only 9 chairs. There were some tall chairs for the island counter remaining, so one student took one over. She said to another student, "You're the shortest, so you can sit on it." I'm sure she didn't have the intention to make that classmate look bad, but when I heard it, I thought, "If that classmate has a sensitive ego, she would probably be upset." Thus, I quietly said to her, "Next time, you can just say, 'Are you OK to sit on this chair'? No need to draw attention to the fact that she is the shortest." The reason I quietly said this to her is also because I don't want to draw attention to her mistake. It would be quite hypocritical if I criticized her for drawing attention to someone's shortcoming when I'm doing the exact same thing in the process of criticizing her. Example 6: Complaining about the past During dinner, someone asked me, "What three words come to your mind when you think of your mom?" I said, "One is Buddhism. She is a really devout Buddhist. She always complains that I don't spend enough time learning Buddhism, that I'm a work-a-holic who doesn’t get my priorities straight. I told her I'm not retired like her. I have a full-time job and lots of extra work to do." Again, I really need to improve on filtering my thoughts before they come out of my mouth. To get at the root of the problem, I need to be aware of any thoughts of complaining, and then correct those thoughts promptly. That way, whenever I subconsciously say whatever I think, it wouldn't be inappropriate. In this case, I remember in the past my mom would criticize me for working so much in the evenings instead of learning Buddhism. I should then correct my thoughts to be, "Mom is just showing her concern for me. She wants me to spend more time learning Buddhism because she thinks it's very good for me. It's OK if she doesn't understand that I have a lot of work to do. As long as I have a clear conscience, that's the most important thing. I can be thankful for her concern instead of getting annoyed. And if I manage my time better, she wouldn't worry about me, so she wouldn't criticize." If I did that mental work beforehand, I would've said, "The first word is Buddhism. She is a really devout Buddhist. She often reminds me to spend more time learning Buddhism." Done. No negative emotions. No complaining. I also said, "Second is simple. She lives very frugally and simply. For example, for food, she cooks very simple. I remember when I was learning cooking, she would complain about why I needed to use so many ingredients, so many bowls, so many stove burners, so much counter space, and so much time. I told her this is what the people in the cooking videos do. Later, I decided I just won't seek her understanding." Again, that was my unfiltered thoughts, which meant I didn't resolve this complaint from before. I should've given myself a pep talk earlier: "Your mom isn't perfect. Of course she will misunderstand you and have different values from you. She values simplicity. You wanted to learn how to cook like a professional. It's normal for her to not understand. There's no need to make a big deal about it." If I had worked through that negative impression earlier, I would've said, "She lives very frugally and simply. Her food, clothing, and life are all very simple." That's it. Example 7: Unintentionally making myself seem noble After dinner, other teachers and elders were chatting at the table. I got up to go supervise and help the students clean up. After we finished cleaning up, it was already 8:00PM. I always tell my students to sleep early, ideally by 10:00PM, and I needed to drive them home. Thus, I told the students to get ready, and then I interrupted the other talking elders and told them, "I'm going to head out first because I need to drive some students home. I always tell them to sleep early, so we really need to get going." They replied, "Oh OK. Then we'll get going too." I said, "No no it's fine, you guys can chat longer. I just have to go early because I have to drive them home." They replied, "No no, you're right. It's getting late. You're the most principled one out of all of us." Later, I thought about how I could've handled that situation better. I wasn't trying to make it seem like they have a bad sense of time or that they neglected the fact that the kids should go home earlier. But it ended up that way. Social acuity is not easy! If I had to re-do that situation, I might say, "Thank you guys for a great dinner! We just finished cleaning up, and I have to get going soon. Sorry I can't stay longer." That's it. No need to explain, because explaining will make them think, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that," which then makes it seem like I'm the thoughtful one and they're not as thoughtful. Conclusion It's easy to understand why we should avoid drawing attention to other people's faults or highlighting our strengths. No one likes an arrogant person, and people will resent others who make them look bad. Although we know this in theory, actually practicing it is another matter. If we're not consciously working on it, we might unintentionally commit these mistakes. Moreover, such situations are quite common in daily life. All of the examples in this article were from the span of a few days! If we aren't working on our social acuity, we risk creating conflict, awkwardness, or resentment in others. If we hone our social acuity, we'll be able to navigate relationships tactfully and maintain harmony in relationships. Weekly Wisdom #413

In the Ming Dynasty of China's history, there was a person named Fang Keqin 方克勤 (1326–1376). After his father passed, he was looking for a good site to bury his father. He managed to find a place that was considered to be very auspicious. (For context, the Chinese believe that locations carry energy, and certain locations have better energy and luck, while other locations have bad energy and bad luck.) The day before the burial, Fang Keqin had a dream. In the dream, an old man dressed in a large red robe bowed to him and pleaded: “Sir, the burial site you have selected is the place where nine generations* of my clan have lived for hundreds of years. I am the King of Snakes. My descendants have continued and multiplied here continuously for a long time. I cannot bear to abandon them, nor can I bear to abandon our home. (*Nine generations is from the great-great-grandfather down to the great-great-grandson.) Therefore, I ask you to be gracious and find another auspicious place to bury your father. If you cannot agree to this, then please at least give us three more days before beginning the work, so that we can move elsewhere. After we have moved, you can begin constructing the tomb. If you could do that for us, I would be endlessly grateful to you.” The red-robed man pleaded three times in the dream. The next morning, Fang Keqin awoke and said to himself, “How could such a thing possibly happen? It's just a dream. We have already selected an auspicious date and time; we cannot postpone the burial any longer. We certainly cannot delay it for another three days.” Image Source: GPT So he ordered the workers to begin digging. As they dug deeper into the ground, they discovered a snake den. Inside the den were several hundred red snakes. Among them was a venomous snake several meters long, with a body as thick as a wooden barrel. It kept nodding toward Fang Keqin, as if greeting him and pleading for mercy. When Fang Keqin saw this, he was extremely shocked. He thought, “Isn’t this the red-robed old man from my dream last night?” Fang Keqin was a scholar who did not believe in ghosts and spirits. He simply thought that these venomous snakes were troublesome, and that if he let them escape, they could cause endless harm. He forgot the pleas of the red-robed old man and ordered his family members and servants to take up sharp weapons. Whenever they encountered a snake, they hacked at it; whenever they saw a snake, they killed it. They piled firewood around the cave and set it ablaze. The entire group of snakes cried out in agony inside the cave as they burned to death. That night, Fang Keqin dreamed again. He saw the red-robed old man with a face full of resentment, crying as he said: “Last night, I sincerely pleaded with you, yet you killed 873 of my descendants, burning every one of them to death in the fire. You are so cruel! I, too, will exterminate your clan!” Not long afterward, Fang Keqin’s wife became pregnant and gave birth to a son named Fang Xiaoru 方孝孺 (1357–1402). When the child was born, his entire body was bright red, and his tongue was pointed like a snake. The baby also repeatedly stuck his tongue out and licked the tip of his nose. When Fang Keqin saw this, he immediately thought of the red-robed old man in his dream. He believed that his son was the incarnation of a demon. In a frenzy, he ordered his servants to take the child to a remote wilderness and bury him alive. When the mother heard this, she scolded her husband saying, "Confucius did not talk about strange forces or spirits. Have you forgotten this after studying the books of the sages? Yet because our son looks unusual, you think that a demon is causing trouble. Every child has his own fate. If we give him proper education, he will surely become a person of great ability in the future.” After she said this, Fang Keqin was somewhat reassured. Nevertheless, he still thought that he should take precautions. Strangely enough, when he picked up Fang Xiaoru again and carefully looked at his son, the redness covering his entire body had disappeared, and his tongue no longer flicked out like a snake. Because of his dream and the strange characteristics displayed when Fang Xiaoru was born, Fang Xiaoru’s father placed tremendous importance on his education. He carefully taught him the Four Books and Five Classics, the teachings of Confucius and Mencius, and the traditional virtues of devotion, filial piety, integrity, and righteousness. He instilled these teachings in him very thoroughly. He was afraid that Fang Xiaoru might lose his original nature in the future and bring disaster upon the entire family. After Fang Xiaoru grew up, his government career flourished, and he steadily rose through the ranks. He eventually became a scholar in the Imperial Academy (also called the Hanlin Academy). He was extremely well educated, filial, loyal, and was the Jianwen Emperor’s (1377–?) closest and most trusted minister. Later, Zhu Di 朱棣 (1360–1424), seized Nanjing through a military coup and become the Yongle Emperor. He took the throne from his nephew, the Jianwen Emperor, who later died by setting himself on fire. At that time, his military strategist advised Zhu Di, saying: “There is a man in the south named Fang Xiaoru who has long been renowned for his learning and conduct. On the day Your Majesty conquers the capital, he certainly will not submit to you. Please do not kill him. If you kill him, the fire of learning throughout the nation will be extinguished.” Fang Xiaoru was extremely famous among scholars in southern China at the time, and scholars looked to him as their leader. If Emperor Zhu Di killed Fang Xiaoru, it would be equivalent to offending scholars throughout the entire nation, which would be unfavorable to the emperor. Thus, his strategist advised him accordingly. Zhu Di then ordered Fang Xiaoru to draft the imperial edict announcing his accession to the throne. That day, Fang Xiaoru wore mourning clothes and completely ignored Zhu Di. Instead, he spoke up for the Jianwen Emperor and harshly denounced Zhu Di, the Prince of Yan. Seeing this, Zhu Di stepped down from the imperial throne and tried to persuade him: “Sir, please do not make things so difficult for yourself. I am merely following the example of the Duke of Zhou in assisting King Cheng.” He compared himself to the Duke of Zhou back in the Zhou dynasty. Back then, King Wu was assisted by his brother, the Duke of Zhou. When King Wu ascended to the throne, he died shortly after. His son, King Cheng, was still young, so the Duke of Zhou assisted his nephew, King Cheng, in governing the nation. Thus Zhu Di said, “I am merely following the example of the Duke of Zhou in assisting King Cheng,” comparing the Jianwen Emperor to King Cheng. Fang Xiaoru glared angrily at him and said: “Then where is King Cheng now?” King Cheng was his analogy for the Jianwen Emperor. Since Zhu Di had said he was assisting King Cheng, Fang Xiaoru asked where the Jianwen Emperor was. Zhu Di replied that the Jianwen Emperor had died by setting himself on fire. Without the slightest fear, Fang Xiaoru then said: “Then why do you not make King Cheng’s son, the Jianwen Emperor’s son, emperor instead? Why have you imprisoned him in Guang’an Palace in Zhongdu?” Zhu Di tactfully replied: “He is still young. The country needs a capable adult to govern it.” Fang Xiaoru pressed him further: “Then why not make King Cheng’s younger brother emperor? Why not select one of his brothers to govern?” At this point, Zhu Di could no longer restrain his patience. He walked down the steps, came directly in front of Fang Xiaoru, gently placed his hand on Fang Xiaoru’s shoulder, and said: “This is a matter concerning my family. Sir, please do not trouble yourself excessively over it.” After all, they were all members of the Zhu family. Zhu Di then ordered someone to prepare a brush and ink. He gently and warmly urged Fang Xiaoru: “The imperial edict announcing my accession must be drafted by you, sir.” In reality, he was deliberately forcing Fang Xiaoru into a corner. Fang Xiaoru had drafted the proclamation calling for the campaign against Zhu Di. Now that Zhu Di had ascended the throne, he was asking Fang Xiaoru to write the accession edict. Fang Xiaoru took up his brush and wrote four large characters: “The Yan rebel has usurped the throne.” The “Yan rebel” referred to the Prince of Yan, Zhu Di. After writing these words, Fang Xiaoru threw down his brush, angrily pointed at Zhu Di, and burst into tears as he cried: “This is the nation of King Cheng, and now it has been usurped by a traitorous minister! If I assist a rebel by drafting an imperial edict, would that not make me just as bad as you? Kill me if you wish! I will never draft this edict for you.” Zhu Di could endure no more. His eyes widened with fury, and he shouted: “I, Zhu Di, respected you as a true man, and I have long admired your reputation for integrity. This nation belongs to the Zhu family. What does it have to do with you? Even if you die, can that change the facts? Can it change what has already happened?” Fang Xiaoru replied passionately: “Then let me die! What is there to fear? Since ancient times, a loyal minister does not serve two rulers. If I violate the proper relationship between ruler and minister, what meaning is there in merely remaining alive in this world?” Zhu Di suppressed his anger and, through clenched teeth, said: “Life is precious, and freedom is even more valuable. Once a person dies, he cannot come back to life. You are not afraid of death, but are you not afraid of implicating your entire clan?” Fang Xiaoru replied: “Even if all ten generations of my clan are exterminated at the same time, I still will not draft an edict for a rebel.” He continued to curse Zhu Di, essentially saying, “Let us see what you can do to me!” At this point, Zhu Di, the Prince of Yan, could no longer restrain himself. He became furious and ordered the guards before the palace hall to take Fang Xiaoru back to prison. Zhu Di then ordered for members of the Fang clan, Fang Xiaoru’s friends, and even his teachers to be arrested and brought one by one to the prison where Fang Xiaoru was being held. One by one, they were killed in front of him so that he would have to watch them die, which should him psychologically. However, Fang Xiaoru remained unfazed. It wasn't until they reached the final person to be killed—his younger brother, that Fang Xiaoyou—Fang Xiaoru’s tears finally began to flow. He was so deeply wounded inside that he could hardly express his grief. According to historical records, Fang Xiaoru’s ten generations of clan members were all exterminated, and the total number of people killed was 873—exactly the same number as the snakes that had been burned to death by Fang Xiaoru’s father. Image Source: GPT (Story Source) Commentary 1: Karmic retribution is precise From this case, we see how precise karmic retribution is. If we commit sins, karmic punishment will definitely come in due proportion. If it hasn't come yet, it will definitely come when the time is ripe. The same is true for good deeds and their resulting karmic rewards. In this case, Fang Keqin didn't receive immediate karmic punishment for cruelly killing so many snakes. The karmic punishment didn't ripen until over 40 years later. In the Treatise on Cause and Effect, Lao Zi said, "Those who killed others unjustly will be killed by others' blade or battalion." (Original text: 枉殺人者，是易刀兵而相殺也。) That's exactly what happened to Fang Keqin. 2: All living beings have a soul and spiritual nature Fang Keqin was extremely unfair and cruel to the Snake King, causing the Snake King to seek revenge. The source of Fang Keqin's sin was his ignorance. He didn't believe that all life has spirituality, and that utmost sincerity can break through communication barriers. The Snake King sincerely wanted to plead, so he was able to visit Fang Keqin in his dream. If Fang Keqin believed the dream, or if he was at least more cautious and humble, he wouldn't risk harming all those snakes. This is also why many religions urge people to love all living beings. All living beings have a spiritual nature, and if we harm or kill them, their soul will resent us and seek revenge in the future. They might not be able to get revenge right away, but eventually when the conditions ripen, they will collect that karmic debt. 3: Flower and fruit retributions Fang Keqin having a terrible death this life is just the flower retribution. The full retribution for being so cruel and killing 873 snakes despite the Snake King's pleas would probably lead him to the three paths of suffering (hell, hungry ghost, and animal) for a very long time. 4: Shared karma As for other members of the Fang clan and even those teachers and friends, why were they also killed? It's because they have similar karmic sins from past lives, causing them to be born in the same clan this life, fated to be exterminated together. Karma is always accurate and fair. Moreover, although the Snake King might feel righteous for getting revenge, in reality, he's harming himself along with his enemy. As Fang Xiaoru, causing his entire clan to be exterminated is a big sin, and he will also be punished in the three realms of suffering later. 5: Human scheming is no match for karma We also see that human scheming is no match for karma. Fang Keqin wanted to teach his son Confucian values like filial piety and loyalty in hopes that the son would never turn into a bad person and betray or harm the family. But in the end, Fang Xiaoru still caused the extermination of the entire Fang clan. Thus, if we've truly done something bad, we shouldn't look for ways to escape karmic punishment. Karmic punishment cannot be escaped. They can, however, be lessened and delayed if we sincerely repent and reform ourselves promptly and sincerely. 6: There is no"unfair" in karma We also realize that since everything is a result of our own past actions and karma, no matter what "injustices" or difficulties we're going through, we have no right to complain or blame others. But don't go saying this to other people when they're in a bad mood, or else they might want to punch you in the face. This is for us to remind ourselves. If we can endure and accord with adverse circumstances, the negative karma will get eliminated faster, and fortune will come faster. The flip side of this is that we have full control over our future. As long we diligently plant good seeds now, fortune will definitely be on its way. Conclusion From this case, we see how precise karmic retribution is. If we harm others, we will definitely receive karmic punishment in due proportion. Thus, if others are bad towards us, it's because we've also been bad to others in the past, even if we don't remember it anymore. Rather than blame them for being "unreasonable", we should endure and accord with them. In this way, we plant the seeds for harmony and fortune in the future. We should also remember to be considerate towards all living beings, not just humans. As for past offenses, we should repent and reform ourselves promptly and sincerely. Weekly Wisdom #412

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND BLOG Who are you? I'm just a fellow student of life, trying to contribute something meaningful to the world. I'm a high school teacher by day and an amateur blogger in my free time. Why did you start this blog? I'm passionate about learning, and I believe great things should be shared! I believe having wisdom is the key to happiness and success. Only when we have the right mindset and ideas, we will do the right actions and get good results. Hence, I started this blog to share wisdom that I've learned and practiced so that others might avoid the suffering I've experienced and gain joy and success. Why do you use a picture of a smiling owl? Because owls represent wisdom, and when we use wisdom in life, we will gain joy. What should I do on this blog? I suggest you either browse around or use the search bar for specific topics. You can also scroll down on the home page to see all the different tags (topics) on the blog. Click on any you that catch your interest to see articles on that topic. You can also browse a category that interests you. I created 5 categories for the blog: Weekly Wisdoms are my weekly learning reports. My intention is to make sure I keep learning, but since these learnings are useful to others, I publish them on my blog. Top Picks are articles that I think deserve special mention. Book Summaries are long posts summarizing books that I think are worth sharing. Stories are short stories with lessons worth reflecting on and sharing. Health covers basic knowledge we could all use in terms of physical health and mental health. I also blog about Traditional Chinese Medicine. Ancient Wisdom is about timeless wisdom from ancient sages and philosophies, such as Stoicism, Buddhism, Confucianism, and Daoism. How can I support you? You can simply read some articles and press the heart button if you found them useful 😃. Another way is to comment on my posts about what you found useful. Can I request a topic for you to write about? Sure! I'd be happy to write about any topics that are useful to a large group of people. You can make a request by sending me a message on the Contact Page. About: About

WELCOME I believe that the key to a happy and successful life is wisdom. When we think wisely, we act wisely. Then we naturally reap joy and success. ​ I started this blog to ensure that I grow in wisdom every week, while also sharing useful learnings with others. These are my personal learnings and experiences, but perhaps they can help others avoid my past suffering and to gain happiness. ​ Feel free to browse around, use the search bar, or click on any of the buttons below to read about popular topics on this blog. ​ Happiness Relationships Success Productivity Health Communication All Top Picks Stories Health 中文 Book Summaries Ancient Wisdom Weekly Wisdom Short Wisdoms Wisdom Quotes Alex Chen 13 hours ago 11 min 22 Things I'm Grateful For In 2022 In honour of Thanksgiving 2022, here are 22 things I am grateful for. What about you? 0 comments 1 like. Post not marked as liked 1 Alex Chen Oct 2 6 min Yielding & Humility ≠ Being Weak Being yielding and humble are excellent and important traits. At the same time, we mustn't become weak, insincere, or resentful. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Sep 25 18 min Ten Ways To Deal With Difficult People (And Even Work Well With Them) How can we deal with difficult people, or even better, work well with them? Here are 10 useful and practical solutions from Stoicism. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Sep 18 4 min Ten Tips for Suicide Prevention September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day, and shortly after that, a classmate in my Chinese philosophy class told us she was having... 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Sep 11 4 min 50 Fun Jokes That Don't Make Fun of Others I am a big fan of good humor, and I think everyone would enjoy more laughter in their lives. Here are 50 fun and respectful jokes. Enjoy! 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Sep 4 7 min Take Blame, Give Glory Normal people avoid blame and take glory. Wise people take blame and give glory. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Aug 27 7 min Don't Play The Blame Game Rather than blaming others and the outside world, focus on taking responsibility and giving reciprocity. 0 comments 8 likes. Post not marked as liked 8 Alex Chen Aug 21 5 min Stoic Joy is Real Joy Real joy, according to Stoicism, comes from a deep sense of purpose, inner confidence, and emotional stability. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Aug 13 6 min Lessons From Lao Zi’s Teacher Four parting lessons from Lao Zi's teacher: 1. Be grateful to our roots, 2. Respect elders, 3. Respect Nature, 4. Be soft and adaptable. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Aug 7 4 min How to Handle The Death of Loved Ones 1. Be loving while they are alive. 2. Follow the Middle Way. 3. Ask them their wishes for you. 4. Carry on their dreams. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Jul 31 11 min The Enlightened Mind - Explanation and Application Enlighten your mind, and your world will change accordingly. Have sincerity, purity, equality, wisdom, and compassion. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jul 25 4 min Commemorating Venerable Master Jing Kong 2022 A bittersweet (mostly sweet) commemoration of my idol and teacher, Venerable Master Jing Kong. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jul 23 20 min Seven Timely Acts of Love Love and respect are not just empty words, they are shown on a daily basis through each and every small action. 0 comments 7 likes. Post not marked as liked 7 Alex Chen Jul 15 6 min Why So Harsh On Yourself? Are you harsh and demanding towards yourself or your loved ones? If so, let's untangle that knot for you. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Jul 8 3 min The Old Man And His Grandson A short story on the The Golden Rule and the importance of role modeling. 0 comments 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Alex Chen Jul 5 6 min Learnings From A Wise Friend Major learnings from my wise friend over the past year in honor of his birthday. 0 comments 6 likes. Post not marked as liked 6 Alex Chen Jul 1 3 min Can You Feel Their Hardship? No one is perfect. Do you focus on their hardships, efforts, and contributions? Or do you focus on their imperfections? 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jun 29 3 min The Body is The Temple of The Soul How my mother and I came to value cooking and nourishing the body more. 0 comments 5 likes. Post not marked as liked 5 Alex Chen Jun 24 5 min Confucius Worries Too "Not cultivating virtues, not striving to learn, not emulating others' goodness, and not correcting bad behavior, these are my worries." 0 comments 4 likes. Post not marked as liked 4 Alex Chen Jun 18 5 min Is it my responsibility to know what you want? The answer...it depends on if I truly love them or if I just want a transactional relationship. 0 comments 4 likes. Post not marked as liked 4 1/14 22 Things I'm Grateful For In 2022 0 1 like. Post not marked as liked 1 Yielding & Humility ≠ Being Weak 0 3 likes. Post not marked as liked 3 Ten Ways To Deal With Difficult People (And Even Work Well With Them) 0 6 likes. 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