（来源） 什么是谦虚？ 正确认识自己的长处。肯学，善学，有时间精神体力学。勇于自我批评改正错误，不断提升。 认识自己的不足。 指一个人有信心地做出决定，或者采取行动前会主动向他人请教，求者征求意见的习惯。 谦虚实益 天会帮助谦虚的人 地会滋润谦虚的人 神明会福荫谦虚的人 有德行智慧的长者会成就谦谦的人。 《易经》谦卦，六爻都是吉祥无灾。《书经》又说，谦虚全是好处，绝不会有损失。谦虚恒顺别人，天地神明就会帮他开智慧，赐福给他。 傲慢的损害 傲慢没有前途，发达了也不会长久享福。稍有见识的人，必定不狭小自己的心量，远离福慧。 如何落实谦虚？ 不夸大自己的能力价值. 不自负自满，接受批评 不鲁莽，不一意孤行，感恩任何批评指责，接受不同意见。 谦虚的榜样：唐太宗 （来源） 唐太宗被认为是中国历史上最伟大的皇帝之一。即使被误解了，他还是恭敬地接受批评，说是他的错。当别人问他为什么不纠正批评者时，他说 【如果令批评者感到难过，将来就没人批评我，我就没法提升自己。】 唐帝并不完美；有时他还是会因为听到批评而生气，但他总会纠正自己。他有一位大臣叫魏征，以向皇帝提供直率的反馈而闻名。有一次，唐帝从朝廷回来，生气地对太后说【我迟早要杀那个魏征！他老是在众人面前顶撞我，让我丢面子！】 太后回答【只有明君才有忠臣敢坦率提意见。恭喜皇上，有一位不怕与您顶撞的大臣！】 唐帝顿时冷静下来，想到了魏征的正直品德。他后来说【很多人认为魏征是个直率、不圆滑的人，但我认为这正是他的魅力所在。】 魏征去世后，唐帝在葬礼上泪流满面。他说 【以铜为镜，可以正衣冠。以史为镜，可以知兴替。以人为镜，可以明得失。魏征没，朕亡一镜矣！】 唐帝还嘱咐身边的人要谦虚，多征求别人的意见。他告诉他的大臣们 【如果自己接受不了批评，怎么有资格批评别人？】 有一次，唐帝看到儿子懒洋洋地躺在树荫下。他走到儿子跟前对他说【一棵树通常不会长得完全直，但木匠可以把它变成一根直木，强度足以支撑一座建筑物。一个在宫廷里长大的君主，不可能什么都知道，肯定会犯错。只有虚心听取大臣们的劝告才能改正，才能成为一个好皇帝。】 儿子听从父亲的建议，学习父亲的榜样，后来在皇帝的位子上取得了更大的成就。

Time, clothes, food, body, tasks, and influences. Have you ever spilt a glass of water? Walked into a glass door? Tripped on your shoelace? Sent an email to the wrong person? Eaten too much? Had a pot of soup overflow with bubbles because you were busy chopping vegetables? Not that last one? Then you’re doing better me…I’ve done all of those! Carefulness is an extremely important virtue, and it is not talked about enough. Carefulness is not just about doing things slowly or paying attention to details, it is about having respect for the person you are doing the task for, whether that is someone else or yourself. As the saying goes, "How you do anything is how you do everything." According to the DISC personality test, around 30% of the population is naturally very detail-oriented, so carefulness is their strength. Around 29% of people are big-picture focused, and attention-to-detail is their weakness. The other 41% are somewhere in the middle when it comes to carefulness. Personally, I am actually the type whose strength is carefulness, which is why my classmates always loved studying my detailed notes in school. I used to think I was a very careful person, but then I read the book Guide to A Happy Life and realized there were so many things I was not careful about. Image Source: Unsplash The book says: Get up early and go to bed at a reasonable time. Knowing how time flies, we should treasure every day. When it comes to clothes, care about cleanliness not extravagance. Whether at work or at home, wear what is appropriate for the situation. Towards food and drinks, don’t be picky. Eat enough, not excess. When turning corners, leave ample space. Hold empty containers as if they are full. Don’t rush things. Haste makes mistakes. Don’t be afraid of difficult tasks, and don’t be careless with easy tasks. If I can get close to virtuous people, the benefits are limitless. If I get close to non-virtuous people, the harm is limitless. From these teachings, we can see that we need to be careful towards six things: Our time (#1), clothes (#2), food (#3), body (#4), tasks (#5), and influences (#6). If we are not careful with these things, how can we possibly have a good and happy life? My Experience I started practicing carefulness over a year ago, and I made many changes that greatly improved the quality of my life. Time and Influences: Before I quit video games about a year ago, I used to think "I'll just play for 15 minutes", and then next I know an hour has passed. That was a lack of carefulness towards my time and mind. Now, I use my spare time to either improve my mind (e.g., learning, meditating) or improve my health (e.g., rest, exercise). I also deleted all negative influences on my social media and followed healthy and inspiring influences. Clothes: Like many, I started working from home due to Covid. At the beginning, I wore very comfortable and casual clothes since people aren't watching what I'm doing. But I noticed my clothes influenced my mood, and I wasn't as focused as I wanted to be. Later, I decided to wear proper work clothes as if I were in an office, and I even sat more upright as if there were colleagues nearby. That made me much more focused and productive while working at home. Food: I get hungry pretty easily, so I used to eat a lot to avoid snacking in between meals. But later I learned that eating too full is bad for digestion. Plus I used to eat really fast, which meant I didn't chew properly, which led to bloating. Later, I learned it is best to eat to 80% full, and to eat more consciously and slowly. After doing these two things, my digestion improved a lot, and interestingly, I don't get hungry in-between meals nearly as often as I imagined. Tasks: I go to the basement when I have online video calls, and I used to go downstairs five minutes before my meeting would start, so then I would rush, and many times I hit my laptop against the door or almost tripped on my laptop charger. A big lesson: never allow myself to feel rushed. If I feel rushed, calm down first, then act. Now, I go downstairs 10 minutes before meetings, and thanks to that extra time, I naturally move slowly and calmly. Conclusion On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your carefulness for Time Clothes Food Body Tasks Influences Based on your ratings, how can you improve your carefulness? Weekly Wisdom Newsletter #168 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

Guest post by Lance Cody-Valdez For many, the new year is a time for change and self-improvement — especially when it comes to bettering our health and well-being, financial situation, and personal relationships. This article will discuss three common New Year’s resolutions in greater detail and offer some tips for keeping them. Read on and start enjoying your most successful year yet! Image via Pexels 1. Improving Your Physical Health Losing weight, exercising more, and eating healthier foods are some of the most common health and wellness resolutions people make. According to a 2020 poll conducted by Ipsos, 42 percent of respondents planned to lose weight in the new year, while 41 percent aimed to focus on improved mental wellness. And though most of us start the year with good intentions, it’s easy to lose motivation when life gets busy or we lack the support we need to achieve our wellness goals. To help you keep your health and wellness goals for the year ahead, there are alternatives to simply joining a gym or fitness studio. Most people have more success with starting new habits if they have accountability to a person, such as a coach. A health and wellness coach to set intentions for the new year, come up with a plan for making changes to your diet and lifestyle, and look for additional health and wellness experts (such as dietitians and personal trainers) to help you achieve these goals. Depending on your health and wellness goals, your health coach could help you come up with a plan for: Making healthier food choices. Quitting smoking. Incorporating more physical activity into your routine. Reducing stress. Improving your sleep habits. Managing your time at home and work. To find a board-certified health and wellness coach in your area, visit the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching (NBHWC). Many health coaches see clients online, in person, or in group settings. 2. Improving Your Financial Health Like bettering your health and well-being, achieving financial security is another common New Year’s resolution. Ipsos found that around 54 percent of women and 38 percent of men plan to improve their financial situation in the new year, which could mean building credit, buying a home, saving for retirement, writing a will, purchasing life insurance, or appointing a power of attorney. Creating a financial plan can help you to achieve these types of goals. If buying a home is one of your goals for the new year, you’ll need to start saving for a down payment, reducing your debt, boosting your credit score, pre-applying for a mortgage, and budgeting for your new home. It’s also important to research housing prices in your desired area and use a home value estimator to calculate a property’s true value before making an offer. These free online tools can also be used prior to selling or refinancing a home. 3. Improving Relationship Health In addition to achieving financial security and improving one’s physical, mental, and emotional health, building better relationships is another common New Year’s goal. Come January 1st, many of us plan to spend more time with our friends, families, and other loved ones, improve our marriages or romantic relationships, and deepen our personal connections. To build better relationships in the new year, starting therapy — whether individually or with family — could be a good start. Therapy helps to improve communication skills, address and resolve relationship issues, strengthen bonds, and treat conditions such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse or addiction. As an alternative to therapy or in conjunction, you could also plan weekly, monthly, or quarterly “check-ins” with your loved ones. These meetings can be used to address and resolve conflicts, ask questions, and better understand your loved ones. A great role model is Tim Ferriss, who does monthly relationship check-ins with his girlfriend. In Episode 371 of The Tim Ferriss Show, Tim explained the four questions they talk about in their meeting: What I think I’ve been doing well (or better since the last meeting). Where I think I've dropped the ball or could focus more on. What I think you have been doing well. What I'd love to see more of. (Phrasing is super important here) Relationships require communication and appreciation, and these four questions are super helpful on those two fronts. Here's To A Healthier You This Year! You don’t have to wait until New Year’s Day to make positive changes in your life, but the start of a new year can be a great time to check in with yourself and your loved ones and acknowledge the changes that should be made for your health, finances, and relationships. Even if you don’t end up keeping your resolutions, you’ll still be taking strides toward better health, happiness, and financial security.

In school, we learned lots of knowledge, from math to science to languages to art. But what about how to make decisions? What about how to live a good life? What about how to be a good person? The answer to these three questions is ethics. John C. Maxwell is an American author and speaker famous for his work in leadership. He wrote Ethics 101 as a short guidebook for helping people make ethical decisions, live a good life, and be a good person. And who wouldn't want that in their lives? In this post, I summarize the key ideas from the book: The Importance of Ethics Education The Most Important Ethical Principle is The Golden Rule Factors that Influence Unethical Choices Build Your Character Key Idea 1: The Importance of Ethics Ethics is important for individuals, businesses, success, and society. Why is ethics important for individuals? Some people think ethics is a concern for businesses, politics, or society. But ethics should be a concern for each and every person. People say that want others to act ethically, yet studies show that people don’t always act with the kind of integrity they request from others. For example, a survey of college students found that 77% of them believe CEOs should be held responsible for the business crisis in the USA, yet 59% of those same students admit to cheating on a test. In the workplace, we see a person asking for honesty and integrity from the company, yet that person steals office supplies and cheats on his taxes. It’s easy to discuss ethics or be disgusted at other people’s unethical behavior, but the important thing is, we have to make ethical choices in our own lives. Why is ethics important for businesses? Many businesspeople think being ethical is a waste of time and money. But according to the Ethics Resource Center, companies that are ethical are consistently more profitable than non-ethical ones. James Burke, Chairman of Johnson and Johnson gave the following example: “If you invested $30,000 in a composite of the Dow Jones thirty years ago, it would be worth $134,000 today. If you had put that $30,000 into these [socially and ethically responsible] firms—$2,000 into each of the fifteen [in the study]—it would now be worth over $1 million.” These ethical companies have a written commitment to social responsibility and act on it consistently. So clearly, being ethical is not only the right thing to do, but also the smart thing to do. Why is ethics important for society? Author and speaker Zig Ziglar once commented that the reason America had so many outstanding leaders in the early parts of the 1900s is because those men grew up in a time where 90% of education was about being moral, ethical, and religious. By the 1950s, education almost completely ignored morality, and so by 2002, we have no one of equal caliber to the leaders of the early 1900s. Why is ethics important for success? Maxwell says, “There are really only three kinds of people: Those who don’t succeed, those who succeed temporarily, and those who remain successful. Character is the only way to sustain success.” Maxwell further explains that character is the key to living an excellent and ethical life. Below are some principles about character: Character is more than talk. It’s about walking the talk. Character is a choice. Character brings lasting success with people. People cannot rise above the limitations of their character. Whether you are looking at individuals, businesses, or societies, we need to take responsibility to act ethically rather push that responsibility and expectation onto others. Only then can we attain and maintain success. Key Idea 2: The Most Important Ethical Principle is The Golden Rule The Golden Rule is to treat others the way you want to be treated. One day, when Maxwell was having lunch with his mentor, Fred Smith, he said something that Maxwell always remembered. Smith said, “You know, a version of the Golden Rule exists in just about every culture.” Here are some examples: “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” —Christianity “Hurt not others with that which pains you.” —Buddhism “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” —Confucianism “This is the sum of duty; do naught unto others what you would not have them do unto you.” —Hinduism “No one of you is a believer until he loves for his neighbor what he loves for himself.” —Islam “Whatever is disagreeable to yourself, do not do unto others.” —Zoroastrianism It’s clear that the Golden Rule is embraced by pretty much every culture. The hard part is to follow it consistently. Maxwell gives this short list of things that all human beings have in common when it comes to how they want to be treated: I want to be valued I want to be appreciated I want to be trusted I want to be respected I want to be understood I don’t want to be taken advantage of Maxwell mentions that an important point about the Golden Rule is that it starts with you. It’s easy to treat others well when they treat us well. Treating others with well even when they don’t treat us well is truly doing the Golden Rule. Key Idea 3: Factors that Influence Unethical Choices From his experience, Maxwell found five factors that most commonly make people compromise on their ethics. He calls these the 5P’s: Pressure, Pleasure, Power, Pride, and Priorities. Pressure When people are faced with a lot of pressure, they might just do whatever is easiest to relieve their pressure. The problem is, that easy decision might not be the ethical decision. For example, is it easier to go to the bar and drink away your worries, or to work overtime and deal with your problems? When facing high pressure, we have to guard ourselves against making rash emotional decisions taking shortcuts pleasing other people's unethical desires making promises we can’t keep Remind yourself of who you are accountable to, whether that’s God or your family or whoever is counting on you to do the right thing. Pleasure For decades, Americans encouraged short-term pleasure, and that led to bankruptcy, divorce, and drug addiction. How can you prevent this? First, avoid these situations in the first place. Second, develop discipline. Discipline is doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. Maxwell says, “It’s ironic, but to gain freedom, you need to contain your emotions with discipline. That takes character.” Power Regarding power, Maxwell says, “Having power is like drinking salt water. The more you drink, the thirstier you get.” Power itself is just a tool. It can be used for good or ill. A good leader will use power for good, to help all people, not just his small group of friends. If someone else is more suitable for his position, then he will even yield his position to the more suitable person because that person can serve the people better. A good leader won't cling to his power. Pride Pride is very competitive. Maxwell says, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man… How can people treat others the way they want to be treated if their preoccupation is to BEAT them? They can’t.” Pride is also not easy to conquer, and it requires us to build humility and to practice the Golden Rule. Priorities If we are unclear about our priorities, then we are more likely to make unethical choices and succumb to pleasure and pressure. If you value your integrity and moral character, and you are very clear about that, then you can reject temporary pleasures, and you can say no to outside pressure to do unethical things. Key Idea 4: Build Your Character As mentioned before, people who gain success without character lose their success quickly. Only those with a solid foundation of character can maintain success. How can we build our character? As mentioned before, practicing the Golden Rule is a great way to build your character. Maxwell also mentions some more ways to build your character: Take responsibility for your actions: Don’t blame anyone else. Develop personal discipline: Set goals, use your time wisely, and master your emotions. Know your weaknesses: If you ignore your weaknesses, you set up yourself up for failure. Align your priorities with your values: Define your values, then align your actions to them. Admit mistakes quickly and ask for forgiveness: Who can ask for more than that? Be cautious with finances: Earn your money, be generous in giving to others, and use debt sparingly and wisely. Put family ahead of work: Having a strong a stable family creates a launching pad for other successes during your career. Place a high value on people: Trust, develop, and empower others, and it will be worth it thousand times over. Conclusion In his conclusion, Maxwell asks the reader two questions. First, what do you want to achieve? Second, how do you plan to do it? The how sets the tone for how you will live and how well you end up. Maxwell says there’s two paths people can choose from: going for the gold, or going for the Golden Rule. Application After reading this book, my biggest takeaways were Practice the qualities I want from others. Treat well the people who don’t treat you well. Give more praise to others. Put family ahead of work. 1: Practice the qualities I want from others. I remember often times, when people tell me they’d do something, I’d take it very seriously. For example, if someone agreed to meet up at 5:00, I’d arrive 5 minutes early and get annoyed if there were late. But then when I reflected upon myself, I realized that there were times in the past where I didn’t do exactly what I said. If I have this problem, it’s completely unfair for me to judge others for having that problem. So first, I must fix my faults and develop my own character. 2: Treat well the people who don’t treat you well. Something I’ve learned is that not everyone is fortunate enough to come across ethical teachings. When people treat me badly, it’s usually not personal. They probably treat everybody that way. I’m fortunate to have received ethical teachings. I need to do my best to treat them well regardless of how they treat me. Only then am I truly practicing the Golden Rule. As a teacher, I’ve met students who have a bad attitude towards school. If I treat them worse than the other students, then I’m not practicing the Golden Rule. I realize that their behavior has nothing to do with me, and they were never taught ethics. So just as with any other student, I need to try my best to help them make the best of their time in my class. 3: Give more praise to others. One of my biggest shortcomings was that I didn't give praise very much, which also meant I didn't spend much time looking for other people's good points. When I thought of my own mother, I only remembered negative arguments and found it hard to think of good things. I learned from the Gottman Institute that good relationships have a 5:1 positive to negative interaction ratio, while excellent relationships have a 20:1 positive to negative interaction ratio. In October of 2021, I decided I would praise one good thing about my mother every single day, with the goal of adding positive memories and feelings to our relationship to crowd out the negative memories and get closer to the goal of 20:1 positive to negative interaction ratio. After a couple weeks, my mom got happier and decided to praise me every day too. After a couple months, our relationship became very happy, and I barely remember the negative arguments from the past anymore. 4: Put family ahead of work. I used to put work ahead of family, and that created a lot of conflict at home because my family members felt neglected. And since I prioritized work so much, I didn’t take care of my own health, which just made my family worry even more. That tension and negative energy from home then carries over into the workplace, which then impacted my work relationships. Indeed, it is much wiser to put family ahead of work. After all, we owe the biggest gratitude to our parents. If I had to choose between having harmony with my family versus having a “successful” career, I now see that it’s definitely better to choose the former. There are many people who chase career success at the cost of family, and in the end, they see that it’s not worth it. After putting family ahead of work, I began to have much more harmony at home. I then brought that positive energy into the workplace, which allowed me to have better relationships at work too. Further Reading I think Maxwell did a great job introducing ethics from a business perspective and explaining the Golden Rule. Another great book, which I highly recommend, is Guide To A Happy Life. That book talks about building our character through five virtues: Filial Piety: being a good son or daughter Carefulness: being caring and respectful towards all tasks and matters, no matter how small. Trustworthiness: having good faith, integrity, humility, and carefulness. Loving Kindness: wanting the best for all people without any conditions or expectations. (The Golden Rule is part of loving kindness) Humility: always seeking to improve our virtues and being appreciative of criticism. In Ethics 101, Maxwell mentioned the 5Ps. The Guide To A Happy Life offers detailed solutions for each of the 5Ps. Pressure and Pleasure can be solved through carefulness and trustworthiness. Power and priorities can be solved through filial piety and loving kindness. Pride can be solved through humility.

Happy new year everyone! With a new year often comes new aspirations for oneself. In the past, I often set goals on things I wanted to DO, like exercise more, read more, meditate more, etc. But in 2021, I learned that the root of our actions is our character, it is what kind of person we ARE. Therefore, rather than making resolutions on what you want to DO this year, try setting resolutions on what kind of person you want to BE this year. To help you think of some ideas for what kind of person you want to be, consider these three questions: What were some past goals you had that you didn't stick with? WHY did you set those goals? Who do you admire? What qualities do you admire about them? What often makes you unhappy? What quality about yourself or bad habit is the root of that problem? Image Source My Experience I actually started this process a few months ago, and it's been a life changer for me. I hope my experience can help you with your To-Be List. #1: What were some past goals you had that you didn't stick with? WHY did you set those goals? I set a goal for exercising more in the past, but I would stop after a short while. Then I asked myself WHY I wanted to exercise. I realized the reason is because my family worries that I'm too skinny and eating vegan is not healthy. Therefore one item on my To-Be List is filial piety, which means being a good child so that parents and grandparents are happy and proud when they think of me. Exercising was so they didn't need to worry about my health. But in addition to exercise, there are so many other actions I could do to be filial, such as learning about health (that's why I learned so much about Chinese Medicine in 2021), cooking, giving parents a massage, helping with chores, and calling grandparents. Whenever I do any of these things, I give myself a point for being filial on my To-Be List. #2: Who do you admire? What qualities do you admire about them? I admire many people like Jay Shetty, Confucius, Seneca, Dr. Alan Zimmerman, Ray Dalio, and Gretchen Rubin. I realized that all the people I admired were wise teachers and avid learners. They helped others through sharing useful knowledge, and they also walked their talk. Therefore, I added "studious" on my To-Be List. Being studious is not just about reading more, it's about reading useful things, taking notes on them, publishing articles on them, and walking my talk. Whenever I spend time on any of those things during my day, I get a point for being studious. I used to waste time on mindless entertainment, but after I resolved to be a studious person, I replaced mindless entertainment time with study time instead, and surprisingly, I'm a lot less stressed! I learned that doing meaningful work is much more de-stressing and fulfilling than mindless entertainment. #3: What often makes you unhappy? What quality about yourself is the root of that problem? I reflected that my most common source of unhappiness was arguments and conflicts with my mother. That's also why I thought I should meditate more. So I reflected on the root quality of this problem. I realized that the root of my problem is my arrogance and insecurity, which leads to my habit of always trying to prove myself right. If I was humble, I would naturally not argue back. Therefore, I added "humility" onto my To-Be List. If I was able to accept criticisms and complaints from others without arguing back, I got a point. If I argued back, I lost a point. Habit change takes time. At the beginning, there were many times I lost points, but after a few times, I got much better. In addition to not arguing, humility also involves focusing on other people's good points rather than bad points, so I also praise my mom every day about something good she did that I can learn from. This also improved our relationship greatly. To-Be List Example Here is a picture of my To-Be list, which I made in Microsoft Excel. As you can see on the left, I have a list of 10 virtues that I inspect myself on every day. At the bottom, I gave examples of actions under some virtues. The purple ticks represent comments that I inserted, kind of like a diary entry. I add a comment to each box explaining why I got each point or negative point. For negative points, I also write down how I will avoid the same mistake next time. For example, I had a negative point under "Calm and Careful", where I wrote, "I was not careful when taking a food sample out of the oven to taste taste, then burned my hand. This was because I was talking to my mom so my attention was split. Next time, only do one thing at a time." This process of daily self-reflection has really helped me to be more conscious of my thoughts and actions throughout the day rather than being a mindless slave to my old habits. As a result, I have become so much happier, more productive, and harmonious in my relationships! Conclusion If you want to change your results, change your actions. If you want to change actions, change your thinking. If you want to change your thinking, change your character. If you want to change your character, make a To-Be List and inspect yourself on it every day.

With 2021 coming to a close, we should all take time to do some self-reflection! Personally, I've reflected on 3 things that really changed my life this year that anyone can do. 1: Make conscious effort to give praise. Image Source: Unsplash This year, I really tried to improve my relationship with my mother, especially since I live with her and see her every day. In my daily interactions with her, most of our speech was very neutral. It was stuff about chores or work or food. Occasionally, one of us would do something that annoyed the other person, and then one person would complain, and then we'd argue. We rarely ever praised each other. In other words, our interactions were 80% neutral and 15% negative, and maybe 5% positive, hence only negative memories stood out. This has been true for many years. In the past 3 months, I made a vow to praise one thing about my mother every day, with the intention of adding positive memories to crowd out the negative ones in my mind. I praised her based on virtues such as kindness, consideration, respect, frugality, sincerity, diligence, studious, and tranquility. After I did this for a couple weeks, my mom started to do the same for me. Our relationship got noticeably better after a month. Now, when I think of my mother, instead of all those negative memories and words, I think of so many positive traits. I had no idea this little habit would have a such a big impact. I did this with other people in my life too, such as with my friends, colleagues, and students, and it adds lots of happiness to my daily life! According to research from the Gottman Institute, happy couples have a 20:1 positive to negative interaction ratio. Now I understand why. If you want to improve a relationship with someone you see every day, I highly recommend trying what I did: find one thing to praise about them every day, and it has to be specific to something they did or said that day. 2: When I see others' faults, reflect on whether if I have the same fault. If I do, fix it. If I don't, teach by example not words. Image Source: Unsplash In the past, I used to always see other people's faults and grumble about them in my mind or verbally point out their problems, in which they'd then defend themselves and argue back. It created a lot of conflict and unhappiness in my life. Although I started focusing on praising others in the past few months, I still saw people's bad points. In order to stop grumbling in my mind, I decided to reflect on whether I have the same mistake. If I do, then I am no better than them, so I have no right to criticize them. Since I still have an urge to DO something after seeing their problem, I decided to role model a good example for them to see rather than use words that would probably make them feel defensive. For example, a student once complained to me that her score of 96 was too low such that she couldn't sleep at night. When I heard this, I wanted to respond by saying, "Are you serious? Your being a bit excessive aren't you?" But then I stopped myself because I've been working hard on not criticizing others. But in my mind, I was still grumbling. Then I reflected on whether I have the same problem. Well, when I was in high school, I was also a perfectionist, and if I didn't get 100, I felt a pit in my stomach. So yes, I had the same problem as that student when I was her age. That helped me feel empathy instead of annoyance towards her. Then I reflected on how I could teach by example rather than by words. If I used words to say, "Stop being so demanding and arrogant about your grades," that definitely would not be received well by a stressed perfectionistic student. So instead, I demonstrated a humble example in front of the class by telling them what I didn't do well this semester and how I will fix those mistakes next time. I didn't specifically point out that student for being arrogant. This way, no bridges were burned, and everybody gets a lesson on humility. 3: Use a To-Be Checklist every day. Self-improvement is not rocket-science; most of the advice we hear is common sense. The problem is that so few people actually ACT on the advice they hear, myself included. Why don't we act on good advice? I reflected on two big reasons. First, it takes persistence to change bad habits. Second, we don't remind ourselves enough so we forget shortly after hearing that advice. To overcome these two challenges, I created a "To-Be" Checklist that I spend 5 minutes reviewing at the end of each day. It's basically a list of virtues I want to cultivate (see picture below). If I did something in accordance with a virtue, I got 1 point. If I violated a virtue, I lost a point. I found this daily self-reflection to be super useful for both adding good habits and for changing bad habits. I made this daily checklist on Excel and every day, I track how many points I got. For each point or negative point, I add a comment to that cell to explain what happened. I've used this To-Be list since August, and it's been such a game changer. I can happily say I've corrected many of my bad habits, and as a result, I'm much happier than before! To give an example of starting a good habit, I have successfully spoken at least 1 praise every day for the past two months, and that's thanks to the fact that I give myself a point under the virtue of harmony for doing so. To give an example of changing a bad habit, I've had bad posture for a long time. But I set an intention for a week to have good posture every day, and I got a point for that under etiquette. In the first week, I actually had many negative points because I simply forgot to think about my posture. I had to extend this effort to 3 weeks. By the second week, I was much more aware of my posture, and by the end of the third week, I could happily reflect and give myself a positive point for posture. I also use this check-list to record major negative experiences to prevent them from happening in the future. For example, I once got really upset when I felt I was wrongfully criticized, but arguing just made the situation worse. Then I made a vow to not get upset or argue back if wrongfully criticized. Later, when I got wrongfully criticized again, I remembered my vow from last time, and I knew I would be facing my to-be checklist at night, so I was able to restrain myself from arguing. I got a big point for that. Then I reflected on my faults, apologized to the other person, and asked them what I should do differently the next time. I got another point for humility under that. If it weren't for this daily To-Be list, I probably wouldn't have been able to change myself! Other Learnings from 2021 There are many other big things I learned this year, but I won't detail them here since I have already written about them elsewhere: Traditional Chinese Medicine is awesome! I wrote a whole series about it and taught it in a healthcare course. You can check out my TCM series here. There is no such thing as a good or bad memory, only a trained or untrained memory. You can check out my notes from the memory course I took here. Reading is a skill that we can train like a muscle. You can check out my notes from the speed reading course I took here. Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty was one of the best books I've read in a long time. You can check out my summary here. The most important thing in life is our moral character, which is why this year I've been so focused on improving my virtues. You can check out my article on character here. Concluding Thoughts Like most people, I hope that I can improve each year. With improvement comes more happiness, productivity, and wisdom. There are so many things I learned this year, but the three most life-changing ones are Consciously give more praise When I see others' faults, reflect onto myself Use a To-Be Checklist every day These three are also quite low-effort items that anyone can do, so I hope you might try them too!

早在1950年前，人们就认为睡眠是一种使大脑和身体休息的被动方式。如今，我们知道睡眠是积极的。在日常生活中，我们体内的细胞在不停的通过化学反应来代谢废物。在睡眠中，那些废物从我们的大脑和身体中被清除。我们的大脑同时也在睡眠时进行记忆重组，我们的身体进行生长和自我修复。 来源 现在很多人，尤其是年亲人，入睡很难，睡觉的质量也不好。当今有很多关于如何改善睡眠质量的研究。如下是一些有关如何改善睡眠的小诀窍。主要分为四大范畴： 夜晚活动 睡眠环境 食物和饮料 其他一些诀窍 范畴1：夜晚的活动 诀窍1：有一个晚间习惯 大多数人有一个晨间习惯。当我们醒来时，我们的身体知道该做些什么，甚至不需要自己去想。同样我们也可以拥有一样的晚间习惯。人类是拥有习惯的动物。当我们在睡前重复做一样的事情，就可以使得自己在上床前感到困意。 我们如何形成一个晚间习惯呢？我们应当做那些能够放松的事情，不应当包含电子产品。对如今大多数年轻人来说，如果在睡前不能看手机，只能做别的事情是多么难以想象。事实上，有很多事情是我们可以做的！例如，我们可以写日记，泡脚，洗澡，梳头，看纸书，听轻音乐，等等。 诀窍2：睡前60分钟避免来自屏幕的蓝光 再次强调，在睡前避免使用电子产品。蓝光会使我们保持清醒并且降低睡眠质量。我们同样也会从使用设备中的内容受到刺激，所以我们应当在睡前60分钟停止使用电子设备。如果你仅仅用手机来设置一个闹钟或是查看一下天气，那不成为题。但是如果你想的是“我只打算用5分钟看一下社交媒体”，那就很可能演变成15分钟，然后会使得你难以感到困意。如果你确实需要使用电子设备，那么至少安装一个防蓝光的软件例如f.lux。同样，在你的手机上也可以打开夜晚模式。 来源 诀窍3：冥想与深呼吸 冥想是最能让内心平静下来的方法之一，它已被证明能够减少压力和身体中的炎症。一个很简单的冥想方法就是用鼻子做深呼吸，吸的時候数到四，呼的時候数到八，做五分钟左右就会感觉很放松。在网上你也可以找到很多有关助眠冥想的信息。 诀窍4：日记 日记通过记录一天的想法和感受来帮助我们度过这一天。它同样能帮助我们把任何想法写在纸上，如此我们就不用在晚上再去想它了。如果你发现自己躺在床上时仍无法控制去想，你可以起来并写下你的想法。一旦他们呈现于纸上，你就能经常在未来回顾和反思它们。 另一种日记的形式是专注于感恩之情。你可以写下三件今天发生的令你感到感恩的事情。培养感恩之情能带给我们安宁，令我们在睡前处于一个快乐而能改善睡眠的情绪中。 诀窍5：洗个热水澡或泡澡 我们都认同淋浴或是泡澡是非常令人放松和冷静的。它不仅仅使得我们身体干净，并且令我们在淋浴后感到精神净化。在洗热水澡或泡澡后，我们的身体会褪去热量使得我们的体温下降。这将帮助我们感到睡意。 诀窍6：为晚间习惯设一个闹钟 很多时候，人们在晚上非常繁忙以至于忘记了时间。如果你想在10点睡觉，那么你可以设置一个9点的闹钟。当闹钟响完后，你会记得该结束现在做的事情了然后开始你的晚间习惯。 范畴2：睡眠环境 诀窍7：仅在睡觉的时候上床，不要在床上使用电子产品 在白天甚至是晚上，很多人在床上看电视或是使用手机。结果，当他们上床睡觉时，他们并不感到困意。他们的身体认为现在应该看电视或是娱乐，所以很难入睡。即使你昏昏入睡，那些电子产品会产生影响睡眠质量的辐射。 诀窍8：保持凉爽 当我们入睡时，我们的体温会自然下降。研究表明适宜睡觉的温度介于20度高于24度或是低于12度会令我们难以入睡。 诀窍9：在一个完全黑暗的房间里睡觉 人类已经进化到在一个黑暗的环境里能更好的入睡。甚至微少的光都可以使得我们难以入睡。 使自己的房间像图中一样那么黑是很难的，但是尽量做到，这样会对你的睡眠有帮助！ 范畴3：食物和饮料 诀窍10：停止在夜晚摄入咖啡因 咖啡因是一种兴奋剂，它会刺激我们从而难以入睡。此外，如果我们睡觉时血液中存在咖啡因，睡眠质量会大打折扣。咖啡因存在于咖啡，茶，巧克力，碳酸饮料和能量饮料中。 来源 根据美国睡眠医学学会，咖啡因的半衰期是5小时。这意味着如果你在中午喝了一杯咖啡，那么下午五点时你的血液里仍存在那杯咖啡中的一半咖啡因，晚上10点时仍有四分之一。美国睡眠医学学会建议人们在至少睡前6小时停止摄入咖啡因，越早越好。一个研究发现哪怕在睡前6小时摄入咖啡因仍会减少1小时的总睡眠时间。 诀窍11：不要吃太饱 睡前2-3小时不要吃东西。当胃是满的时候入睡是很困难的，消化也会不良，起床后会有口臭。 范畴4：其他小诀窍 诀窍12：在适宜的时间入睡 在Sleep Smarter书中，作者Shawn Stevenson解释了晚上10点到凌晨2点是“黄金睡眠时间”因为在这几个小时中，人类能得到最大量的恢复性睡眠。一小时的黄金睡眠时间的价值是其他睡眠时间的两倍。 Medical Medium同样把晚上10点到早上2点称为“神圣的睡眠之窗”。因为那是你的身体进行大部分治愈的时间。它说如果你不能在这段时间入睡，那么就躺倒闭上眼睛，你的身体仍然会做一些治愈。如果你有晚班，那么你可以在早上10点到中午2点时间打个屯或是闭眼躺着，得到最好的治愈效果。 印度医学也是说晚上10点到早上2点是最重要的睡眠时间；中医说是晚上11点到早上3点。如果你觉得10点太早了，那最起码听中医的建议吧！ 诀窍13：早醒 人类习惯在太阳升起时开始新的一天。这将帮助你进入自然的睡眠习惯并且更早感到困意。假如你现在是晚上12点才睡，而你想11点上床就困，那你就先早起一个小时，这样你更容易提前一个小时困。 诀窍14：在白天运动 在白天做运动能帮助人们入睡和提高睡眠质量，但是不能运动太晚。那是因为运动促使我们的身体分泌内啡肽，它可以保持大脑清醒。它同样能提升身体的温度来防止打瞌睡。因此，我们应当在白天运动，不要在夜晚运动。如果要在夜晚运动，就要做一些低强度的运动。 结论 人们为了改善醒来的时间做了很多努力，而我们应该同样为睡眠时间做出努力。得到适宜的睡眠，特别是深睡眠，是保持我们身体和心理健康的关键。如果你的睡眠并不好，那么采取一些文中的小诀窍来应用到你的生活中吧。

中医的五行是非常有用的健康常识，它将大自然与我们的器官，情志，食物，经络相连。以下是五行的简介，希望能帮助大家了解自身五行平衡情况，从而针对自身情况来制定保健计划。 土🌱 土的对应器官是脾胃。 如果脾胃不好，人容易担忧。 如果脾胃好，就会更有信心，内心也会更加开放。 属于土的人如果健康，他就会富有爱心，能解决冲突，很忠良； 如果土不平衡，那就容易担忧不休，很容易被得罪。 当我们担忧的时候，可能会想吃点甜的东西，这是因为土的味是甜，甜补脾胃。 甜的食物包括粮食，米饭，面粉，水果，根菜，土豆，红薯，等等这些都是自然甜的食物。 白糖不自然，中医西医都不建议。 白糖会欺骗身体，不像水果蜂蜜枫叶糖，自然的糖分是跟很多微细营养密切联系的，而白糖没有。 奶制品也属于甜，但是它们特别湿寒，所以中医只允许一点点，如果吃多就伤脾。 其实人类大多数都是乳糖不耐受，按照中医解释的原因就不奇怪。 那些乳糖耐受的人可能暂时脾胃良好，但是如果继续大量摄入乳制品，当脾胃变弱了后，就会造成乳糖不耐受。 中医建议应该摄入50%-60%的甜食，主要是粮食。 保健从脾胃开始，所谓【病从口入】，如果消化不好，以后其他器官也会开始有问题。 ST = Stomach = 胃. SP = Spleen =脾. 脾胃的一些大穴位点是ST36, ST37, SP9, SP6. 案例：之前自己的消化不好，通过每天按摩脾胃经络大概十五分钟，一两星期后，消化得到了改善。 木🌳 木的器官是肝和胆。 如果肝有问题，人很容易发脾气，不能包容，没有耐心，很固执己见。 如果一个人的胆有问题，他容易犹豫不决，缺乏下决心的勇气。 属于木的人如果健康，那他就像一棵树，总是想提高，一直往生提升，对别人也会慈悲宽容。 如果木不平衡就会加重之前所说的问题。 压力，熬夜，发脾气，犹豫不决都会对肝胆成伤害。 在中医当我们说任何脏腑，这是包括它的经络，比如肝脏包括肝的经络。 腿上有很多经络，包括内脏的经络。现在人长时间久坐，这样就很容易把这些经络堵塞，所以西方也说“sitting is the new smoking”，就是整天坐着伤害身体的力量像抽烟。 木克土，所以如果木一直有问题（比如很多压力），那以后脾胃就会出问题。 在食物方面，酸味帮助木，比如西红柿，橙子，橘子，柠檬绿色的菜也会帮木。 运动和好好睡觉也会帮木。 中医建议我们的食物大概50-60%是甜（粮食），其他40-50% 就是其他四味：酸辣苦咸。 这需要按照个人身体的需要来调节。 如果一个人发现按肝经络很疼，那可以加多点酸味补木。 按摩是告诉身体哪里有问题，而食物的作用是给身体适合的能量去修复问题，兩者是相輔相成的。 此外，肝脏的一个功能是让我们消化脂肪，但现在的社会环境很容易让人吃太多脂肪伤害肝，比如奶制品，油炸食物，肉（肉里面有很多脂肪），鸡蛋，糕点。 中医建议此类食品不要超过10%，西医建议5%-25%。 脂肪也分为健康和不健康。 动物脂肪比较不健康，植物脂肪比较健康，像坚果，椰子油，牛油果。 尽管是健康脂肪但也不能过度摄入。 LR = Liver = 肝. GB = Gallbladder = 胆. 这是肝和胆的经络。 肝的一些大点是 LR 3: 太冲和 SP（脾） 6: 三阴交 （这是脾，肝，肾）。 胆经很大，一个方法是敲大腿的外面，也可以按摩GB31 和GB32。 头上侧面有胆经，可以用梳子按摩，或手指也行。 水🌊 水的器官是肾和膀胱。 如果肾有问题，人容易害怕和受惊，缺乏毅力动力，容易怀疑自己的能力； 身体容易冷。 如果膀胱有问题，人放不下怨气，甚至小事情都会一直不能原谅别人，也会容易对人有嫉妒或猜疑。 属于水的人如果健康，那他会像水那样的柔顺，很有创意，喜欢求智慧，有稳定的毅力； 身体的发育也会好。 如果水不平衡就会出现以上所说的问题。 以上所说的不好情绪会伤害水的器官。 咖啡，可乐，红牛，能量饮料，等等，也会伤害水的器官。 我们需要喝够水，但也不用刻意去喝很多，只要渴了就喝水。 下午三点到五点是膀胱经的时间，适合喝水帮膀胱清理垃圾。 在食物方面，咸味帮助水，比如海带，咸菜，腌菜，泡菜，芹菜。就像自然糖比白糖好，海盐比白盐好因为海盐有很多自然的微量营养成分，而白盐缺少这些微量营养成分。 煮饭煮汤炒菜都可以放点海盐，当然也不能放太多。 水克火，火脏是心，吃太多盐会导致高血压，心脏病。 KI = Kidneys = 肾. BL = Bladder = 膀胱 肾的经络比较难按，但是有三个重要点不难按 KI1: 涌泉，KI2: 然谷，KI9: 筑宾。 膀胱经是最大的经络。 膀胱经可以从按摩图片上的脊椎和小腿开始，哪里疼就多按。 金🛠 金的器官是肺和大肠，两个器官都是帮我们排出不需要的东西。 如果金有问题，人容易悲哀，放不下过去。 这个跟膀胱不一样，膀胱是放不下过去的怨气，肺是放不下过去的悲哀。 肺经包括西医所说的免疫系统，所以当人很悲哀时，免疫力会降落，更容易生病，特别是感冒。 鼻子和喉咙都跟肺经有关。 如果金平衡，那人的免疫力会好，跟人建立关系也会好，沟通时能心通，面对生活也有勇气。 属于金的人如果健康，那他就像个利剑，做事非常细致，效率很高，有条不紊。 她会很可靠，勤奋，有自律。 如果金不平衡，那就容易感觉忧郁，孤独，觉得别人没法理解自己，跟亲人沟通时也会很难让自己的心打开。 养金可以深呼吸，气功，那类的活动，比如吸数到四，呼数到四，这样的深呼吸能让情绪平静下来。 如果呼数到八，那效果就更明显，令身心放松，睡觉之前做能安静心，更快的睡着。 因为属金的人容易忧郁，要保持社交生活，跟亲人好友常常往来沟通。 在食物方面，金的味道是辣，闻到这些味道都会把我们的鼻子和肺打开。 辣比香更刺，如果不习惯吃辣可能会有反感，消化不了，容易上火。 香比较温和。 奶制品和油炸的东西对金不好因为会产生黏液和痰，之前在土行也说过要少吃这些。 LU = Lungs = 肺。 LI = Large Intestines = 大肠。 肺经比较容易按，也挺小的，一些大穴位点是 LU1 和 LU2: 中府 和 云门，LU5: 尺泽，LU9: 太渊。 大肠经离肺经很近，也比较容易按摩，一些大点是LI20: 迎香，LI18: 扶突，LI11:曲池，LI4: 合谷。 肺经和大肠可以两个都按，哪个点疼就多按。 案例：之前母亲的鼻子和喉咙不舒服，我按她鼻子旁边和喉咙，按了几天还是没好，后来想到要按摩整个肺经和大肠经，一个星期后情况改善了很多。 火🔥 火的器官是心，心包，和小肠。 在中医的理念中心包是心的扩展，他们俩是一体。 心是人的情感中心，它负责我们的心理健康。 小肠会对食物进行分辨营养与废物，也能帮助心分辨对错好坏。 如果火有问题，人容易乐极生悲，发愁，可能很难入睡或睡觉很多鲜活的梦； 身可能会突然出汗，血循环不好。 如果火平衡，人会开心，心情舒畅，血循环好。 属于火的人如果健康，他会很热心，好玩，有魅力。 如果火不平衡，那么心容易分散，容易感觉无聊，可能会不守信。 养火就要养心，修安静心，可以打坐，做深呼吸，瑜伽等等。 在食物方面，火的味道为苦。 很多绿色的青菜都属于苦，但是他们并不苦，比如西兰花，芦笋，芥兰，芹菜，生菜，青菜，和其他绿色蔬菜。也要避免或少喝咖啡类的饮料，这些对心不好。 HT = Heart = 心. PC = Pericardium = 心包. SI = Small Intestines = 小肠. 心经和心包经都比较小，按摩比较方便。 如果人悲哀因为分手了，PC7 能帮忙。 案例：我的母亲在SI15的位置很久不舒服，之前总是按那个点，后来学到小肠经就开始按摩整个经络，这就解决了那个问题。

有一个孩子脾气不好，父亲为了帮他，跟孩子说"你每发一次脾气，就到家里后院那根木柱上钉一颗铁钉"。那孩子一发脾气就去拿一颗铁钉钉到柱子上。 來源 一开始一天钉五六颗，钉了几天，孩子吓了一跳:密密麻麻的，他突然感悟到说:"我的脾气居然坏成这样"。 他开始収敛，经过一段时间，不发脾气了。父亲跟他说"你一天不发脾气，就去拔一颗铁钉下来，孩子拔得很有成就感。拔拔拔拔，有一天拔完了。他很高兴，跑去报告父亲:"都拔完了"。父亲不急不慢地把他带到木柱前面说:"虽然铁钉都拔掉了，留下多少坑洞！木柱能回到原来样子吗？回不到。“ 治怒三宝 一停: “笑一笑，十年少"，我要少，我要笑，心里想好笑的人事物，开始笑。 二想: 想对方的恩惠德。 想脾气怎么来的？因人？因事？因物？ 想结果: 脾气能解决问题吗？ 想脾气让谁得到了好处？ 各自省，天清地宁。 三选: 你不好，我好，一颗炸弹炸双方是糊涂。 你错了，我对，一颗炸弹炸别人是自私.。 你好，我不好，炸弹在自己身上引爆是圣人。 你好我好大家都好，把炸弹拆掉了是智慧。 愿天下人都享智慧乐，没脾气苦。

Socrates used to give public discourses about important subjects on life and philosophy while standing on a big stone in the corner of the market. People in the market would pass by and listen for a few minutes and then leave. They never paid much attention to his philosophy. When he noticed that the people were not giving much attention to his philosophy, Socrates decided to try something different. He announced to the public that he is going to tell a very interesting story. Those who heard his announcement came near very eagerly to listen his story. He started his story like this: “There was merchant who had a lot of merchandise to sell, and he decided to go to another bigger city to sell them. He packed his goods and carried them on his shoulder and left before daybreak. The only route to the city required him to climb a big mountain. While he was walking, he found another man with a donkey also heading to the same city. While walking together and talking, they become friends. Then the merchant asked the other man to rent his donkey to hold his merchandise until they reach the other city. The man agreed for a certain amount of money.” At this point, Socrates found that a larger audience had gathered around him to listen the story, and lot of people forget their duties while listening to his story. The people who used to come and leave within a few minutes also forgot their business and stayed back to listen the story. Socrates continued his story: “They have to climb a steep mountain to reach their destination. The merchant placed his merchandise on the donkey and they started out in the morning. It was easy to walk in the morning. As the day progressed, it became very tough for them to climb the mountain. They were sweating and become very tired. When the sun rose on top of their heads, they decided to take a rest.” Socrates now had even more people gathered around him, eagerly listening his story. Image Source He continued: “It was noon and they were tired. They decided to take a break, but there were no trees or shade under which they could sit and rest. There was only the shade of donkey who was carrying the merchandise. Under the shade of that donkey, there was space for only one man. The owner of the donkey told the merchant that the shade of the donkey belongs to him as he is the owner of the donkey. But the merchant disagreed, saying that he hired the donkey, so the shade of the donkey belongs to him. The owner of the donkey said he only rent out the donkey, not the shade. But the merchant said that when he hired the donkey, that includes the donkey's shade. Both men fell in to fierce argument for the shade of the donkey. Both argued that it belongs to him legally.” By this point, there was a very large crowd gathered around Socrates. Then he climbed down from the stone where he was standing and walked away. People followed him, requesting to complete the story. He paid no attention to them and continued walking. People were following him and requesting him to complete the story all the more. They pressed him hard for the end of the story, so he stopped walking, turned to them and said, “I was talking to you people about important and serious things like life and philosophy, but you were not paying any attention. But when I started telling an imaginative story of a donkey and its shade, you became very eager to listen. You are paying more attention to silly things and ignoring the important things in life. You ought to pay more attention to the important things in life rather than trivial matters.” Story Source Commentary: The key lesson for all of us is to reflect on whether we are spending too much time on "donkey stories" rather than important priorities. I'm actually impressed by how captivating that donkey story was! Indeed, so many non-important things are so captivating, such as TV shows or games or scrolling social media. It's up to us to spend our time and energy wisely. Before listening to this story, I thought I prioritized my time pretty well, but Socrates probed me to reflect on whether I could actually stay focused on priorities in the face of enticing distractions. After all, you can't really say you focused on priorities if there weren't any enticing distractions for you to ignore. For example, while writing this article, I saw an unrelated email and wanted to check it. After opening it, I realized I didn't finish this article yet so I closed that email. My focus still has room for improvement! A second lesson is to do the important things, whatever those are for you, every day. One useful habit I've been doing for over a year now is to journal about my day before bed. I just spend a couple minutes to write down the key things I did, such as work, meditation, books I read, chores I did, etc. This journal helps me keep a streak of the things I want to do, such as meditation and reading. I don't want to break any streaks, so the 2-minute journaling helps me keep the good habits going. I highly recommend this tactic for anyone who wants to start a habit streak. A third lesson is that education is not just about talking, it's about showing. If Socrates had simply lectured people about living a life focused on priorities, people would disregard him and think they already do it. But by enticing people with this silly donkey story, he caught everyone off-guard, then he told them "Look, you're so captivated by a silly story. Don't you know that you should focus on important priorities in life?" Concluding Thought Am I spending too much time on "donkey stories" rather than important priorities? --- Weekly Wisdom #163 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

Guest post by Lance Cody-Valdez We all struggle from time to time with being confident. The pandemic pushed many of us into situations where this struggle became our everyday reality. But, as we learn to live with the virus and have a glimmering hope of returning to normalcy, it’s time to make improvements in ourselves that can lead to long-lasting positivity. Read on for six tips on ways to boost your self-confidence through self-improvement. Image via Pexels 1: Appreciate what you have. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to learn to love the things you already have. Although it’s human nature to want more and to strive for more, we could all be much happier right now if we learned to make best use of what we already have. If you don’t appreciate what you have, you may spend more time being negative about your life than looking forward to making positive changes. 2: Reach for your career goals. How long have you been in your current job? If it isn’t going quite the way you wanted by now, it might be time to change courses. Think about what you really want to do. If that’s become an accountant, for example, then go back to school. Your accounting degree – this can lead to your CPA certification – can even help you get a better job in other areas, such as business ethics, economics, business finance, and even SMB marketing. You may have to dig deep to decide what you want to do, and now is also a great time to look back to your childhood dreams and work toward becoming a nurse, police officer, or musician. We normally don't think too much about our career in the hustle-and-bustle of daily life, but the pandemic has given us all a great reason to reflect on our career. 3: Change your diet. Oregon-based Northwest Primary Care asserts that a better diet can equal better mental health. On top of the physical benefits – weight loss, heart health, etc. – maintaining a menu that’s rich in vegetables, healthy fats, and fruits and berries will increase your brain’s production of the neurotransmitter serotonin. This is just one chemical that affects our mood, and it’s produced by your gastrointestinal system. Healthy eating definitely has an impact on our sense of wellbeing and self-confidence, and you can learn more by checking out Healthy Eating 101. 4: Nurture healthy relationships. If you want to be really confident and happy in your life, you need to find your people. The people in our lives give us so much more than friendship. They keep us centered when we are spiraling out of control and lift us up when we are down. Make sure that your relationships are healthy, and that you are not allowing toxic influences to negatively impact your life. This applies to all relationships, and especially your love life. If you don’t already have a partner, the digital age has made it much easier to find one, and, despite common misconceptions, you are likely to be just as happy with someone you met on a dating app as you would be mixing and mingling with your current network. Nurturing healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships is not something you can learn from Hollywood movies and pop music, which is why the Weekly Wisdom Blog has dedicated so many articles to this topic. A great starting point is How to Nurture Loving Relationships. 5: Get more restful sleep. We live in a fast-paced world, and we often neglect one of the most crucial components of the human condition in order to keep up with our busy schedules. Unfortunately, not getting enough sleep can have a serious effect on your mood. Psychology Today contributor Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D. explains that those in the trenches of sleep deprivation are cranky, irritable, and a little less pleasant than their well-rested counterparts. Remember, your body needs at least seven uninterrupted hours each night to work at peak. If you are looking for tips for how to sleep easier or get more restful sleep, check out Sleep 101. 6: Identify and eliminate derailers. Finally, evaluate your life, and look for habits, situations, or people that don’t contribute to your positivity. If you feel inadequate after scrolling social media, for example, put your accounts on pause or change the people you follow from negative influences to inspiring influences. Another example is if you allow everyone else to control your life. Remember, you should be in control, not your boss, your friends, or your partner. We shouldn't base our self-confidence on what others think or do, but rather on what we think and do. After all, it's not called others-confidence, it's called self-confidence. Conclusion Self-confidence is paramount to being successful in your personal and professional life. If you are just rebuilding yourself after the long couple of years we’ve all had, congratulations. Now’s a great time to come out of your symbolic cocoon and re-take your rightful place in the world.

來源 皇帝把皇位让给大舜，大舜没有开心，皇帝把两个皇女嫁给大舜，大舜没有开心，父母跟大舜恢复"父子有亲″时，舜开心了。 一位老师每天回家看到婆婆坐在门口抽水烟，婆媳相视一笑，婆媳都很开心。 王希海老师说每天醒来看到躺在床上的植物人爸爸活着，他就开心。 一位六十几岁的法官每天回到家门口喊一声"妈，儿回来了！"屋里九十几岁妈的应一声"儿，回来啦！母子都很开心。 九十岁很少走动的老父亲看到一年回来陪他三个月的女儿回到家，站起来扶着墙很高兴地绕大厅走了一圏，满脸欢喜地看着女儿，女儿泪流满面。 十七岁住大学一个月后的儿子，第一次回家在妈妈床上陪母亲说话到十二点，儿子睡着了，醒着的母亲很开心。 二十几岁的儿子看到妈妈牙缝塞了点菜，说"妈不动，我把那牙缝的菜给您拿出来"。两人享"父子有亲"之乐。 二十几岁的儿子给五十出头的妈妈按摩，尝试过不同姿势，有一次妈妈把她的小腿搭在儿子大腿上，很顺手。母子享"母慈子孝"之乐。 愿天下家庭都享受"父子有亲"之乐！