If we want happier relationships, more harmonious families, and a more peaceful world, we need more people everyone used a considerate heart in their daily life, imagine how much happier and more harmonious our relationships

These past few weeks, I have been attending a workshop on traditional Chinese culture. Venerable Jing Kong is considered a hero in revitalizing traditional Chinese culture, and last week, he passed away. Many people all around the world were extremely upset. Some people were in denial. Some people felt empty. Image Source Fortunately, those of us in the workshop had the guidance of good teachers, and they helped me recover after a couple of days. Lots of people were not as fortunate as me, and they continue to be depressed and sullen. Facing the death of loved ones is inevitable in life, so I wanted to share four things I learned from this experience. 1: Be loving while they are alive. One teacher said, "If you wait until they are dead to cry in agony, then you were not loving and dutiful enough while they were alive. Cherish them now. Then you won't feel regret when they're gone." My two grandmas are pretty old now, and I reflected on whether there was anything I still need to say to them or do with them. The main thing I wish for is to spend time with them, but I can't return to China to visit them right now due to visa restrictions. Hence, I can focus on the next best thing, which is to call and message them more. As long as we try our best, there is nothing to regret. I also try to not hold any grudges or conflicts in my heart. If I encounter any misunderstandings, I do my best to communicate and untangle the conflict as soon as possible. After all, no one can guarantee if they will still be alive on this Earth tomorrow. If we imagine that the person we have conflict with might die tomorrow, then we would naturally tell them how much we care about them, and that the conflicts are insignificant. Here is a great video on this topic: 2: Follow the Middle Way: Not too little. Not too much. It is fine and normal to be sad and to cry when a loved one passes, but we should remember the Middle Way. We should not suppress our emotions. Suppressing our emotions is very harmful for our health. At the same time, we should not be excessive in our emotions. For example, some people become so depressed that they refuse to eat for many days, which then damages their health greatly. If we realize that our emotions are excessive and impacting our ability to function normally, then we need to seek help. A great thought exercise to do is to imagine what the deceased person would say to us if they saw us depressed right now. They would probably say something like, "I know you are sad. Don't be so sad for so long. I want you to continue living a good and happy life." This helps us realize that to be truly loving towards them, we should recover our regular life and peaceful emotions sooner rather than later. 3: Ask them their wishes for you while they are alive. If we are clear on what our loved ones wish for us, then we can work towards fulfilling their wishes while they are still alive. Then, when they are gone, we won't feel like we neglected them. In other words, go ask your parents, grandparents, teachers, mentors, or any other loved ones, "What do you hope for me?" I asked this question to my parents and mentors, and I work towards their hopes for me every day. It is also a great conversation topic to revisit every once in a while. When we update them on how we are working towards their hopes for us, they will surely feel happy and loved. This way, we can prevent feelings of regret or emptiness when they depart this world. After they pass, we can turn the sadness we feel about their passing into motivation to continue living their hopes for us. 4: Carry on their dreams. While they are alive, we should also ask them what their dreams and aspirations for themselves are. We can then help them towards fulfilling their goals both when they are alive and after they pass. For example, my hero worked hard to revitalize traditional Chinese culture. Now that he is gone, I should continue to contribute to his mission. I can turn any sadness I feel about his passing into motivation to carry on his legacy. Conclusion Above are four things I learned this past week due to the passing of a loved one. If you have other wisdom on this topic, I would love to learn. What we can do today is to reflect on these questions: Have I been loving enough to my loved ones? Do I have any grudges or misunderstandings that I would regret not resolving if they passed away tomorrow? Do I know very clearly what my loved ones hope for me? Do I know the dreams and aspirations of my loved ones? Weekly Wisdom Newsletter #197 Interested in receiving Weekly Wisdoms in your email? You can subscribe here.

Similarly, I imagine one of the most common complaints in all relationships is, "I do so many things If we want to accumulate good relationships and avoid bad ones, then we ought to look for everyone's This kind of criticism kills relationships. Conclusion: Good relationships are key to our happiness and mental health. Relationship conflicts are also a major source of suffering.

talking about how when he was studying for a big test, his friends would come and talk to him about their relationship

Icon Sources: 1, 2 A young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview and now he was about to meet the director for his final interview. The director discovered from his resume that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The young man answered "No". "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees." he replied. "Where did your mother work?" The young man said, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director asked the job applicant to show him his hands. The applicant showed that his hands were smooth and perfect. So the director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes?" "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me." said the young man. The director said, "I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning." The young man felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son. Image provided by pvproductions on Freepik The young man cleaned his mother's hands slowly, with tears dripping down his face. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and so covered in bruises. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched them. This was the first time the young man realized that it was this pair of hands that washed clothes every day to pay for his education. After cleaning his mother's hands, the young man quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time. The next morning, the young and eager job applicant went to the director's office. The director noticed the tears in the applicant's eyes when he asked, "Can you tell me what you learned at your house yesterday?" The young man answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and I finished cleaning all the remaining clothes. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, I not only realized how difficult it is to get something done on your own, but I also have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping other people." The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired!" (Story Source) Commentary Gratitude is not just a nice-to-have feeling. It's a must-have for a purposeful and fulfilling life. We all have parents, and chances are, we could be doing more to repay their gratitude. Our parents may not have worn out hands like the mother in the story, but they've certainly gone through their fair share of hardship in raising us. Just like the young man in the story, many of us are oblivious to so much of our parents' contributions and sacrifices for us. Here are some examples to ponder: Mother carrying us around in her tummy for 9 months and having to endure a lot of discomfort, yet still looking forward to the day we are born. Mother enduring the pain of childbirth, and then right after, her first thought is, "Is my child healthy?" Parents tending to us 24/7 when we were infants, using their hearts to feel our needs whenever we cried, feeding us and changing our diapers. Despite being exhausted, they did this with love in their hearts. Parents dedicating so much thought, energy, money, and planning for our lives. Parents sacrificing their freedom and sleep for us. Parents being so happy to see us grow and mature. Parents always wanting the best for us and giving us the best they can give. When we reflect on how much our parents gave to us, we should feel a sense of gratitude and warmth, and then we naturally feel the desire to repay gratitude. It's kind of like if a friend gives us a gift, we'd be happy and naturally feel compelled to give them a gift in return. Repaying favor is a natural human sentiment. When we focus on our parents' gratitude, we will naturally want to repay gratitude. There are four broad ways to so: Nurture parents' physical health: make sure their body is healthy Nurture parents' emotional health: ease their worries and give them happiness Nurture parents' aspirations: fulfill their wishes and ambitions for us Nurture parents' wisdom: helping parents to grow as a person When we repay gratitude, we are making our parents healthier and happier. When we see our loved ones healthy and happy, we will be happy too. Confucius said, "When taught filial piety, people will respect all parents in the world. When taught siblinghood, people will respect all siblings in the world." (Original Text: 教以孝，所以敬天下之為人父者也。教以悌，所以敬天下之為人兄者也。) Note: Filial piety means having a heart of love, respect, and gratitude towards parents. Siblinghood is the same but towards siblings. When we can feel the care and gratitude of our family, it's easy to extend that feeling to other people outside the family. If you think about it, society is kind of like a big family. At school, our teachers are similar to our parents, and our classmates are similar to our siblings. At work, our leaders are similar to our parents, and our colleagues are similar to our siblings. Our leaders take care of us, and we repay gratitude by being harmonious with colleagues, easing our leaders' worries, and working towards their aspirations. In order to teach filial piety, parents ideally would to role model respect and gratitude towards grandparents. The family should frequently do nice things for the grandparents. After all, children don't do what you tell them to do, children copy your actions. It's also important to not spoil children and make them think they are the king or queen of the world. The father can tell the children about how much the mother contributes and how hard the mother works, and urge the children to be filial to mom. The mom can do the same for dad. Icon Sources: 1, 2, 3 Even if our parents didn't role model filial piety for us, we shouldn't blame them because chances are, no one role modeled it for them, and no one taught them either. They still tried their best for us, and now we need to try our best for them. That means starting with us, we set a good role model for them and for the future generations. Conclusion Gratitude is not a nice-to-have, it's a must have for a purposeful, meaningful, and productive life. It also helps us to persevere through hardship. The best place to start digging our inner fountain of gratitude is towards the under-appreciated heroes in our lives. Weekly Wisdom #258

With that kind of mental state, we will have happier relationships and be more effective at work. 1.2 To succeed in any relationship, we need to endure conflicts and negative emotions by being patient, tolerant For example, a relationship is broken when we cannot endure anger. In my relationships, even though we are having an argument, when I think about the past kindness and someone spends hours reading Buddhists texts, but they have not improved their moral character and relationships

every day or posting a blog post every week, it's about actually correcting bad habits and improving relationships

Instead, having quality relationships is the single greatest driver of our happiness and health. Since quality relationships is a key driver of happiness, trying to control others (whether unconscious

Obliger : I put others ahead of me, and I value harmony in relationships. Working with a Questioner Questioners can add value to relationships and organizations by ensuring people Working with an Obliger Obligers are like the adhesive in a relationship or a team. They bring people together and focus on maintaining good relationships.

case of the ambitious boss and the family-oriented employee, the boss should first develop a strong relationship your partner because he understands you very well, and he shows great effort in contributing to the relationship So despite your partner already setting a good example and showing genuine care in the relationship, Then she’ll reflect on if she built a strong relationship with the child. He will also build a strong relationship with each person so that they trust that their leader has their

If we have good relationships with those around us, then we would get so many doses of happiness and Helping others and giving more is a key to good relationships, and anyone who's sincerely helped others When we are self-centered, we tend to create conflict in relationships, and we are more likely to do If we let our anger loose, we’ll destroy relationships and opportunities. Our relationships also improved, and they were eager to help me in the other courses.

As for our loved ones and relationships, if we knew we would die tomorrow, how would we behave today? It is a great way to mend and build relationships. Lesson 3: Let go of obsessions.