Once, a university professor went to visit a well-respected Zen Master to learn about Zen. The Master first invited him to sit for a cup of tea. The professor sat down and started talking about Zen. The Master quietly prepared and poured the tea. When the tea was filled to the cup's brim, he kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's full! No more will go in!" blurted the professor. "The same with your mind. How can I teach you Zen unless you first empty your cup?" Image Source Commentary Many lessons can be drawn from this story. The main one would be that we can't learn something that we think we already know. Recently, I had two experiences that reminded me of this story. Story 1 I'm teaching a healthcare course this semester, and I was talking to my students about whether western medicine is better or Traditional Chinese Medicine. One student said "I don't trust Chinese medicine, all the people who use it are old-fashioned in thinking and illogical." I said to him, "For you to have such a strong negative reaction to Chinese medicine, I'm guessing you must've had a really bad experience with it in the past, is that right?" He said yes, that the people who recommended Chinese medicine to him in the past left a very negative experience in his mind. A key point I wanted to teach in that discussion is that nothing is 100% always good or always bad; it's about using it correctly. Western medicine is great for emergency life-saving situations, while Chinese medicine is much better for long-term health and chronic-illness prevention. But throughout our Chinese medicine unit, this student indeed was unable to let go of his prejudice towards Chinese medicine, which I felt was a shame because he's a bright student and could have really benefited from using Chinese medicine in his life. Story 2 My mother accidentally shut the car door on her thumb, which resulted in her nail turning blue/purple and swollen. Unlike the student in my class, my mom was prejudiced towards western medicine, thinking it's illogical and naïve. The next day morning, she told me she didn’t sleep well because her thumb started to hurt so much at night. I did a quick internet search and told her she needs to dip her hand in ice water for 30 minutes twice a day. She immediately dismissed my idea and told me she doesn’t need it. I still went ahead and prepared the ice any way, just in case. Shortly after, she changed her mind and decided to give it a try. She ended up using ice water for most of the day. At the end of the day, she told me, "Wow, this western medicine solution was really useful! My thumb is so much better now. I always thought western medicine was dumb because they think cutting off body parts will solve illnesses. But it looks like I got saved by western medicine this time." Conclusion As Epictetus once said, “You can’t learn that which you think you already know.” If you want to learn anything, first empty your mind of all your pre-existing opinions so that you can listen with full respect and attention.

Commentary First of all, I just have to say, that taxi driver is very admirable, and my virtues are nowhere We can maintain our inner peace through the virtues of humility and gratitude.

"No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have." —Seneca Previously, I wrote about moderating our desires in the Self-Control Poem and in Rewiring Our Minds for Happiness. This quote from Seneca really stood out to me because it combines reducing desires with putting to good use what we already have. If we are told only to reduce our desires, it feels restricting and unpleasant. But Seneca is saying what we want may not be necessary because we already have a good alternative to it. If we don't have a alternative and we have no way of getting that thing, surely we can still find good in what we do have. In this post, I want to share a few examples from my own life. Image Source Example 1: New Vest I wanted to get a Uniqlo vest for my mother since she would sometimes wear mine, which is a bit big for her. When we got to the store and I showed her the vest, she said she doesn't want it because she already has a vest. I asked, "But you've worn mine multiple times...I thought you really like this kind of vest?" She said, "Yeah but that's just a few times, and it was mainly out of convenience since your vest was right there, you weren't using it, and mine was all the way upstairs. I already have a good vest, so I don't need a new one." I admired my mom for not wanting something unnecessary and for putting to good use what she already has. Example 2: Closet Reorganization Since I still work from home, I mainly wear comfy clothes when not working. Recently, with the weather change, I reorganized my closet from summer clothes to fall/winter clothes, and I realized I have so many items of great clothing that I basically forgot about because I haven't worn them in so long. I decided that after I get out of bed, I would change into proper clothes even if I'm not working. This decision let me put to good use all those great items of clothing I have, and it's also made me more alert and diligent because the clothing we wear affects our mental state. Example 3: Pull-Up Bar Around a month ago, I wanted to buy one of those at-home pull-up bars that attach to a door frame, but my mother was worried it would damage the door frame and that I would stop using it after a while. She said, "Why don't you just go use the monkey bars at the park first? The weather is still pretty decent." I decided to follow her advice and walk to the park to use the monkey bars for pull-ups. I thought I'd try it for a week and if I really enjoyed doing pull-ups, then I could assure my mom I would use it if I bought it. Interestingly, I started to really enjoy that short walk to and from the park, the fresh air, and the sunlight. I even met some new people and had great conversations. Later, I found a pull-up bar alternative in my very own closet. Even though I found this alternative, I still preferred walking to the park while the weather still permits. If I had bought the pull-up bar right away, I wouldn't have discovered my enjoyment for walking and the existing alternative in my closet. Example 4: Commuting In the past, I used to commute 2-3 hours roundtrip every day for work. Just sitting or standing there on the bus is quite exhausting, and I wasn't making best use of the time. Later, I decided to listen to education podcasts and take notes on my phone while commuting. It made my commutes so much more enjoyable and productive. Later, I had the choice of driving to work, but I actually chose to commute instead because I valued the time to learn while being transported to work. Example 5: Garden Tower My family is pretty big on eating organic and fresh, so we plant a lot of food in the garden. Earlier this year, I proposed getting the Garden Tower, which is basically a big, compact, multi-level container that can fit 50 plants and costs several hundred dollars. Image Source My mother said, "That's a lot of money to spend on something we may not even need. Let's just properly plan out how we can best use our garden space, and if we indeed feel like our space is not enough, maybe we can consider buying it next year." Later, we got a bunch of big buckets, put them on our patio, and planted a lot of extra food that way. We ended up have more food than we could eat in some weeks. Good thing we didn't buy that Garden Tower or else we might have wasted a lot of food and unused buckets! Example 6: Food Waste Did you know that Americans waste 30-40% of their food? That hurts both the wallet and the planet. Food takes up more space in US landfills than anything else! One reason is that we put food in the back of the fridge and forget about it. Then we find it has gone bad later so we throw it out. To overcome this problem, my family always inspects what's in the fridge every weekend and bring to the front what needs to be eaten soon. We also try to buy produce that can be stored for at least a couple weeks, such as cabbage, brussels sprouts, and root vegetables. I use a tool called Save the Food to look up how to properly store food items for maximum storage life. A second factor is restaurants giving more food than we can eat. If we just leave the leftovers on the plate, the restaurant will throw it out. Instead, we can take the leftovers to go and eat them later at home. A third factor is grocery stores only selling what looks nice and throwing away what doesn't look nice or is not so fresh. When I visit the grocery store, I'll look at the section of discounted food, which usually has food that either looks not so nice or that's going to go bad soon, and I'll buy whatever I can eat in the next day or two to prevent that food from being wasted. It's win-win because it helps my wallet and the planet! Conclusion: In our modern materialistically rich world, most of us nowadays have so much stuff, and we aren't putting all that stuff to its best use, which is kind of a shame. I encourage you to think about how you can put to best use what you already have. It's very pleasant to do and reminds us of how fortunate we are!

Once upon a time, an Evil King went to a Good King's castle for dinner. The Good King provided a beautiful reception for the Evil King, even though he knew the Evil King probably had some inner agenda and negative motives in mind. The two kings sit down for dinner, and the server brings two identical plates of food and places them in front of the two kings. Source: Unsplash The Good King said, "Enjoy your meal", and proceeded to start eating. But just as he was about to take his first bite, the Evil King stopped him and swapped the two plates. The Good King was bemused and asked, "What's going on? Is there something wrong?" The Evil King replied, "Well, this is my first time here, and you may have poisoned my food." The Good King laughed and said, "OK, let's carry on with our meal then." Just as the Good King was about to take a bite, the Evil King swapped the two plates again. The Good King said, "What's wrong this time?" The Evil King replied, "Well, maybe this is all a set-up and you double-bluffed me." The Good King, laughed, shook his head, and started eating. That night, the Good King ate his meal while the Evil King went hungry. Morale of the Story: If you have judgment, suspicious, or envy towards someone else, you may be projecting that problem onto other people. But in reality, the problem is in you, not them. For example, if you think your boss is against you, you will act in a way similar to the Evil King, and you will be the one to go hungry. Source: Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty. (Video)

I've heard of the virtues of water from the Dao De Jing, which mentioned humility and benevolence. He said, "Water has so many virtues. For example, water has great aspiration." I decided to study the virtues of water as a way to commemorate this event. Lao Zi didn't talk about waterfalls specifically, but Venerable Cheng De was able to see the virtue of What virtues of water inspire you? Are there any virtues I missed? Let me know!

We have to cultivate and train our virtues and emotional self-regulation. To give an analogy, If a person's immune system is strong, external viruses cannot hurt them.

Image Source: Unsplash Once upon a time, three criminals were sent to jail for three years each. The prison guard felt pity for them, so he asked them, “Since you’re going to be here for three years, is there any one thing I can provide you to make your time here better?” The first man asked for cigarettes. The second man asked for a woman. The third man asked for a telephone. The jail guard gave each man what they asked for and then shut their doors. After three years, the prison guard went to open their doors. When the guard opened the door to the first prisoner’s room, the prisoner rushed out saying, “Where’s my lighter? You didn’t give me a lighter!” For those three years, all this prisoner thought about was how he couldn’t smoke his cigarettes. The guard felt sorry for this man’s being a slave to his bad habits. When the guard opened the door to the second prisoner’s room, no one came out, but he heard the sound of crying babies. The prison guard felt ever more pity for this man. Before, he only had himself; but now, he has a family that he cannot take care of, so even more people have to suffer. When the guard opened the door to the third prisoner’s room, the man walked out proudly and said, “Thank you for the phone. I used the phone to keep connected to the outer world. I learned from my wrongdoings, and I will improve. I even made some investments in preparation of my exit.” The guard was very happy for this man.

Carefulness is an extremely important virtue, and it is not talked about enough.

"How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?" —Jerry Colonna Image Source: Unsplash Commentary: We can apply this idea to both matters and people. Towards matters, we should look at how we've dedicated our time and energy. For example, I fell off my usual meditation practice this past week. It's easy for me to push the blame on busy-ness, but ultimately it's my responsibility to choose how I prioritize and spend my time, which I didn't do well. Towards people, we need to realize that our actions speak louder than our words. In this short excerpt from Knowing Where to Look, author Light Watkins gives some great examples: We are always teaching others how to treat us. If we are easily reactive, we teach people to sugarcoat the truth. If we routinely gossip about our friends, we teach others to question our loyalty. If we refuse to spread rumors, we teach people to trust that we will stand up for them too... If we consistently over-give, we teach others to take us for granted. If we give thoughtfully and in accordance to need, we teach people to appreciate our efforts... Every interaction is a teachable moment. What lessons will you teach today? Action: If you're unhappy about something or someone, ask yourself, "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"

He was famous for his great virtues, including good temper, humility, righteousness, and frugality. In his will, Wang told his children, “Our family’s prosperity is from virtues. I think Wang's legendary good temper comes from two virtues: reciprocity and humility.

During the Ming Dynasty (about 500 years ago) in ancient China, there was a high government official named Wen Zhen Xu (徐文貞). Xu was known for his humility and consideration. Specifically, he was able to admit his own faults (humility) and conceal the faults of others (consideration). Source Xu’s Humility One year, Xu served as the Chief Examiner of his province, and he was in charge of making the exam papers and hosting the exam. (For context, in ancient China, scholars had to pass different levels of imperial examinations in order to gain government positions, which were equated with wealth and prestige. You can think of it as if he were in charge of conducting a very important round of interviews for important government jobs.) During that exam, there was a student who noticed a mistake in the exam. He was very nervous about pointing out the mistake because he might offend the examiner (Xu) and indirectly offend the Emperor who chose the examiner. But he took the courage to go up to Xu and tell him the mistake in the exam. When Xu heard this, not only was he not defensive or critical, but he immediately checked the related book and verified the mistake to be true. Then he admitted his mistake, apologized, and said he learned an important lesson today. To be able to admit his mistakes publicly in such a high-ranking position requires great courage and humility, and the public admired him for that. Xu’s Consideration for Others When Xu retired and returned to his hometown, he hosted a big banquet and invited family, neighbors, and fellow villagers. There was a guest who saw that Xu had a golden cup, and he wanted to steal it. This guest hid the golden cup in his hat. Xu happened to see him stealing the cup, but he didn’t call him out. Instead, he concealed that person’s wrongdoing because he felt that human sentiment is more important than material possessions. When the meal was over, a servant who was cleaning up couldn’t find the golden cup. Xu saw this servant searching and told him to not worry about it because he already put the golden cup away. In reality, he didn’t want to embarrass the guest who stole the cup. Unfortunately, that guest didn’t control himself and got drunk. When he was walking, he stumbled and fell down. When he fell down, his hat came off and the golden cup rolled out. When Xu saw this, he immediately turned around and pretended like he didn’t see the cup. He also told his servant to go put that cup back into the person’s hat. Everyone realized how kind and considerate Xu was to conceal this person’s wrongdoing rather than publicly shame him. Commentary The Guide to a Happy Life said, “If I get angry when hearing criticisms and happy when hearing praise, then bad people will come and good people will leave. If I am uneasy when hearing praise and happy when hearing criticisms, then good people will come.” Xu did this when a student pointed out his mistake on that very important examination event. The Guide to a Happy Life also said, “Whatever I impose on others, first ask if I want to be treated that way. If not, then don’t do it to others.” Everyone makes mistakes in life, and nobody likes to be publicly shamed. That’s why Xu concealed that guests’ fault rather than publicly shame him. He showed that valuing human sentiment is more important than material possessions. We can all learn from Xu’s great role modeling of humility and consideration.

Image Source One night, a couple went to bed. Shortly after they went to bed, the man remembered he had to make an important call to a client. He got up, went to the closet, and changed into a suit. He then called the client and spoke in a very formal business manner. After the call, he went back to the closet, changed back into his pajamas, and went back to bed. His wife watched him the whole time and asked him, “Did you hit your head or something? Why did you change into a suit if you’re just making a phone call? He can’t even see you!” The husband replied, “Even though he can’t see me, he can definitely feel my attitude through my voice over the phone. I know my attitude is different when I’m in my work suit versus pajamas. So even if he can’t see me, I wear the suit to bring out my professional attitude.”