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But when we don’t know HOW to urge others, we can end up hurting the relationship and making things worse However, when we follow these five principles, we maximize the chances for success and build a happy relationship

There were three brothers who lived together. The youngest brother loved to fool around, and he often came home past midnight. The eldest and middle brother both wanted to change the youngest to come home earlier and be more responsible. The eldest brother got very angry at the youngest, often scolding him loudly and fiercely. The youngest was already a young adult, and the more he got scolded, the later he came home each day. The middle brother saw the result and reflected on the eldest brother's methods. He then told the eldest, “Please let me try helping our younger brother. You can relax and leave it to me for the time being.” From that day on, the middle brother waited by the front door every night for the youngest to come home. The first night, he watched the clock pass by 10:00PM, 11:00PM. Rather than get impatient or angry, he cultivated his patience, waiting past 11:00PM, past 12:00AM, until finally, the youngest appeared. The middle brother immediately opened the front door, walked up to the youngest brother, and took his hand. The middle brother said, “It's so cold outside. Are you warm enough?” as he took him into the house. He also said, “You must be hungry. I’ll go cook some noodles for you.” The middle brother continued doing this for many weeks. Later, the youngest brother slowly started coming home earlier, day by day, until eventually, he came home at normal times. The middle brother kept encouraging him and giving him proper ideas about life so that his younger brother would have a bright future. Commentary: How often do we get angry at others for their bad habits? Getting angry doesn't help, and in fact, it usually makes the situation worse. If we want to inspire others to change, we must show genuine care for them and be patient. It took the middle brother many weeks to finally move the youngest brother's heart. Once the youngest brother really felt how much care and love the middle brother had for him, he naturally started to change.

Published Date: Sunday, July 7, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Success: The two obstacles to success are ego and blind spots. We need insightful people that offer different perspectives to cover our blind spots. To attract those people, we need to drop our ego. (Source) Unconscious Mind: To leverage your unconscious mind, ask yourself a hard question at the end of the work day. Then don't consciously think about it. The next day, revisit that question multiple times and jot down potential solutions. You'll reach a break-through much quicker than always consciously thinking about the question. (Source). Happiness Proverb: Joyful people say, "I'll help you!" Annoyed people say "You help me." -Chinese Proverb Here are this week's recommended actions: Identify the people in your life who offer you different and insightful perspectives. Have a conversation with them about a problem that's been on your mind. Try leveraging your unconscious mind for a hard question. Ask someone how you can help them. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

It applies to both personal and professional relationships.

Published Date: Sunday, January 27, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Giving Advice: We should be cheerleaders instead of advisers towards others unless they explicitly ask for advice. Besides, people only take advice from their trusted cheerleaders. (Source) The Arrival Fallacy: It's "the false belief that reaching a valued destination can sustain happiness." To truly attain lasting happiness, we need to enjoy the process. (Source) Goal Achievement: What is your #1 goal this year? What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning (after your morning hygiene routine)? Do the answers match up? The #1 priority should get first access to ALL relevant resources — your calendar, your time, your attention, your energy. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

(Source) Relationship Quote: "When you like a flower, you just pluck it.

Waldinger explains that good relationships aren’t necessarily relationships where people never have conflicts That’s a good relationship. On the other hand, relationship conflicts are extremely stressful and toxic to the body. improving those relationships. For more on this topic, check out this article on how to nurture loving relationships.

Published Date: Sunday, February 17, 2019 Hi All! In this week's letter, I am introducing a Recommended Actions section. If you think this new section is redundant and/or not worth the space, please let me know. Here are this week's chosen learning points: Developing Passion: For most people, a passion isn't suddenly discovered but rather developed over time. That's because the most joyful part of a worthy endeavor often comes after you get good at it. (Source) Do we treat strangers better than loved ones? Actually, it's not that we treat strangers better than our loved ones; it's more that we wouldn't have strong emotions, positive or negative, towards strangers. (Source) The Marie Kondo Method: To not dread organizing but enjoy it, realize that organizing is a process of appreciation. Identify the items that served you in the past that you no longer use. Say "thank you", then donate or throw it away. (Source 1) (Source 2) Here are this week's recommended actions: If someone asked you "What's your passion?" two years from now, what would you want to say? Start developing that passion this week. For one encounter, treat a loved one as you would a stranger you want to befriend. Identify one thing that you no longer use. Thank the item for its past service, then donate or throw it away. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, September 8, 2019 Hi All! This week's newsletter is about Blue Zones, which are places in the world where people live the longest and free of chronic diseases. Examples include Okinawa, Sardinia, Nicoya Peninsula, and Loma Linda. Blue Zones give us guidance on how to live a long, happy, and healthy life. The sources are this interview and this Ted Talk. Here are this week's chosen learning points: Diet: 90-98% of what they eat is low-processed plant-based foods. On average, they eat meat 5 times a month and fish a few times a week. No cow dairy. They drink 6 glasses of water a day. They may drink 1-2 glasses of wine with friends over a meal. They eat mindfully and stop when 80% full. Exercise: People in blue zones don't "work out" by going to the gym a few times a week to do intense exercise. Instead, they're always moving around naturally, whether its doing housework, running errands or visiting friends. They are constantly and unconsciously doing low-intensity exercise. Companions and Community: They often belong to a tight faith-based community. They surround themselves with people who are healthy influences on them. They prioritize taking care of children and aging parents. Sense of Purpose: They can clearly articulate why they get out of bed every morning. They usually have a specific word for it, like Ikigai. Here are this week's recommended actions: Walk more. Take the stairs instead of elevators. Increase the ratio of low-processed plant-based food in your diet. Add healthy influences to your daily content intake, whether that's social media, books, or podcasts. I'm trying to do that on Twitter and Instagram! Reflect on your purpose. To learn more about Ikigai, you can check out this blog post or this Ted Talk. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

This week's newsletter is about four agenda items for regularly scheduled relationship check-in meetings The original context is for significant-other relationships*, but you can apply it to any important relationship *I know you might think "It feels weird to have regularly scheduled relationship meetings with a significant But such a relationship is largely about teamwork, which requires effective communication.

Examples include Asking for a raise Ending a relationship Giving criticism Apologizing Saying no to someone

with yourself, relationships with others, and your success. Ability 5: Handling Relationships To handle relationships well, we need to know how to argue and resolve The solution requires emotions intelligence, namely aspect #5, handling relationships. relationship problems, and nurturing self-confidence. But if we do it right, they will be appreciative and the relationship will improve.