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Published Date: Sunday, June 2, 2019 Hi All! This week's newsletter is about four agenda items for regularly scheduled relationship check-in meetings. The original context is for significant-other relationships*, but you can apply it to any important relationship (e.g., with your boss). What I think I’ve been doing well (or better since the last meeting). Where I think I've dropped the ball or could focus more on. What I think you have been doing well. What I'd love to see more of. [side note: wording is super important here] These questions come from Tim Ferriss and his girlfriend after many iterations. They have their meeting monthly. He talks about this near the end of his podcast episode 371. *I know you might think "It feels weird to have regularly scheduled relationship meetings with a significant other." But such a relationship is largely about teamwork, which requires effective communication. And these four questions get at the core of what needs to be communicated. Not to go too far off on a tangent, but divorce rates have been increasing from 18% in 1920 to 67% in 1990**. If you want above-average results, you'll have to go above what the average person is willing to do. **Source: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Chapter 9 If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Hi All! This week's learning points are from the new On Purpose podcast with Jay Shetty. Here are this week's chosen learning points: Romance: To bring back the spark to a relationship, try something new together in which you're both a beginner at. (Source) Gratitude: Gratitude isn't just for the positive things in life. It should also be for the negative things because they often set the stage for later positive things. (Source) Comparison: To stop comparing ourselves to others negatively, we need to define success for ourselves and identify our strengths. The first grants us control to not unconsciously accept definitions of success from others, and the second allows us to narrow our comparison pool to only what's relevant (our strengths). (Source) Here are this week's recommended actions: If you want to strengthen a relationship, try bullet 1. Ideas: a new sport, escape rooms, cooking, a new game, art, etc. Reflect on a negative time from your life and how that set the stage for something more positive. Define what success means to you physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually. Then identify your strengths. Don't bother comparing to others on anything where you didn't define success and where it's not something you want to be a strength of yours. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, May 19, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Sleep: 10PM to 2AM is money-time sleep. Those 4 hours are worth twice as much as other hours. (Source) Overcoming ANTs: We often have Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and don't challenge them. Instead, we should ask two Super Power Questions: 1. "Is the thought true?" 2. "Are you 100% sure it's true?". Often, we'll realize it's not true, which will make us feel better and empowered. (Source) Self-Image: "When you're 18, you worry about what everyone thinks of you. When you're 40, you don't give a damn what people think about you. When you're 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all." -Dr. Daniel Amen Here are this week's recommended actions: Get at least 2 out of the 4 hours of money-time sleep. Identify Automatic Negative Thoughts you have. Ask the two Super Power Questions to remove those ANTs. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead! P.S. For more on ANTs and Super Power Questions, check out my blog post.

Published Date: Sunday, May 5, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Sleep: We always hear we need 6-8 hours of sleep a night, but actually, it's not the daily hours that matter but rather the accumulated hours over a 10 day cycle. So if you sleep really little one night, you can still be fine the next day. But if you do it for 10 days, the effects will really hit you. (Source) Addiction: People don't get addicted to something just because it's chemically addicting to the brain. It's actually because they lack meaningful connections to people or a purpose, so they end up creating a connection to the substance. Unfortunately, society tends to punish addicts and severe their societal connections, which just makes things worse. Instead, addicts need integration into society, and they need their friends/family to stop threatening the relationship and to start nurturing it. (Source) Education over Entertainment: "Choose education over entertainment. When you choose entertainment, you escape. When you choose education, you elevate." -Jay Shetty Here are this week's recommended actions: Substitute 1-3 hours of entertainment for 1-3 hours of education about something interesting or useful to you. (1 hour if you want a manageable goal, 3 hours if you want to challenge yourself) If you know someone who may be struggling with substance abuse, share the Ted Talk video with them and start nurturing the relationship. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, April 28, 2019 Hi All! This week's newsletter focuses on self-understanding. Here are this week's chosen learning points: The Four Tendencies: Everyone falls into one of four "tendencies", which determines how you respond to inner expectations (like a fitness goal) and outer expectations (like work deadlines). Understanding the tendencies will help you get more out of yourself and others. I highly suggest reading a short summary I wrote here. Perhaps the most important thing I learned is that 41% of the population needs outer accountability to meet inner goals. The Big 5 Personality Traits: While there's an endless number of personality traits, there's five big categories represented by OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. To understand your personality better, you can take a free test here. Quote I'm pondering: "One can have no greater or smaller mastery than mastery of oneself." -Leonardo Da Vinci Here are this week's recommended actions: Learn about your tendency and identify the tendencies of those around you. Find out your Big Five test results. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, April 21, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: The 5-Step Cycle of Life: Learning, Experimenting, Performing, Struggling, and Thriving. People always want to be in Thriving, but we need to do our time in the other stages too, just as how the four seasons have a sequence. (Source) Smile File: If there's someone you want to have a better relationship with, make a smile file about them. Put in happy group pictures and nice messages from them. Before interacting with them, look through that smile file. (Source) Work-Life Balance: "Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life." - Bryan Dyson Here are this week's recommended actions: Create a smile file for someone you want to have a better relationship with (could be personal or professional). On a sticky note, write down important but non-urgent things (e.g., exercise, read, etc.) you can do for the four glass balls. Put that sticky note on your desk beside your computer. Do something from that sticky note every day. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, April 14, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Food Trivia: Peanuts aren't nuts (they're legumes). Whales aren't fish (they're mammals). Tomatoes aren't vegetables (they're fruit). Habit Change: There's three steps to habit change, represented by "I AM" = Identify the habit, be Aware of it, and then Modify it. Most people want to skip to Modify, but we need to go through Identification and Awareness first. (Source) Intention Meditation: An Intention Meditation is when you mediate on your options and decisions to clarify your intentions. You focus on planting seeds (good intentions) like love and removing weeds (negative intentions) like greed and pride. (Source) Here is this week's recommended action: Try the intentions meditation for 10 minutes a day. It can be for small things like hanging out with friends or big things like your career. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, March 31, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Work Happiness: The three things people need to feel fulfilled at work are mastery, autonomy, and purpose. Mastery is about getting really good at your craft. Autonomy means having control over how you do your work. Purpose is about feeling like your contribution matters. (Source) Action and Intention: "Action without intention is meaningless. Intention without action is impact-less." - Jay Shetty How to THINK: If you're angry or unhappy, THINK before speaking. That is, make sure what you say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind. (Source) Here are this week's recommended actions: Think about how you can increase any of the three factors mentioned in bullet #1. Identify something you do that feels meaningless. Set an intention for it to become meaningful. Identify an intention you have but haven't acted on. Take the first step and get the ball rolling. The next time you feel angry or unhappy, go through the THINK acronym before you send off that email or text. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead.

Published Date: Sunday, April 7, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Photo Tip: In photos, tilt your head slightly so that your jawline is visible. That's more flattering than a straight-on photo. (Source) 3 D's in Relationships: In relationships, there are 3 D's to not do over text or social media: Decisions, Disagreements, and Debates. Only do them face-to-face. (Source) Ego: "Egomania is a strange disease. It makes everyone sick except the person who's got it." - Zig Ziglar Here are this week's recommended actions: Try the photo trick and practice different positions to figure out your ideal one. If you need to make a decision, disagree, or debate, make sure to do it face-to-face. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, March 24, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Managing Shared Work Spaces: Some people work better with clear tables and shelves (like me). Others work better with lots of things (creative disorder) on their surfaces. Neither is right or wrong. It's just a matter of personal preference. (Source) Accountability Productivity: If you want external pressure to do focused work while taking advantage of Parkinson's law, post on twitter/insta/facebook "I'm doing a 1-hour [task] sprint!". (Source) Choosing Priorities: "It's not how well you play the game, it's deciding what game you want to play." - Kwame Appiah Here are this week's recommended actions: Is there someone you get annoyed at because they always want to clear or clutter up surfaces? Instead of arguing, assign separate spaces. You manage your portion the way you like it, and they manage theirs. If you get distracted by social media when you want to read/write/anything else, try bullet #2. Example: "I'm doing a 1-hour reading sprint!". Afterwards, tweet about how productive you were! Think about the "games" (career, health, etc.) you're playing. Are you in the right "games"? If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday March 17, 2019 Here are this week's chosen learning points: Teeth brushing tip: After brushing your teeth, don't rinse rigorously with water. Instead, rinse with mouthwash or a little bit of water to retain more of the helpful fluoride on the teeth. (Source) Exponential Scale: Many people don't grasp the huge difference between a million and a billion. A million seconds is 11.6 days. A billion seconds is 31.7 years! Credibility Formula: Credibility = Proven Competence + Relationships + Integrity (Source) Here are this week's recommended actions: If you used to rinse rigorously after brushing your teeth, try using mouthwash instead or just a little bit of water. If you are assessing someone's credibility on a matter, use the formula above. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, March 10, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Role Models: "Pick your role models based on their values, not their valuables." -Jay Shetty Perception: People can hear and see different things from the same source, but they're all valid. Like I hear "yanny" in this clip but others hear "laurel." Also, I see blue and black while some see white and gold for this dress. Trait transfer: What you say about other people gets associated with you. (Source) Here is this week's recommended action: Reflect on your role models in life. Identify the values they exhibit and whether or not their values align with yours. Say great things about others and others will associate those traits with you! If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!