Search Results

Oddly enough, I can't find this one in my email. However, I checked the dates for newsletter #18 and #20 and indeed it's a two-week gap. So I don't think I skipped this one by accident, but somehow I've lost the record for it.

Published Date: Sunday, February 24, 2019 Hi All! This week's newsletter is about shared work, which Gretchen Rubin talks about in this blog post. It applies to both personal and professional relationships. We unconsciously overvalue our contributions relative to others and under-estimate the difficulty of tasks done by others. "Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise." The more reliably you do a task for the team, the less likely it is for the team to notice you're doing it, to feel grateful, or to want to help. If you really want someone else to do the task, don't do it yourself. And when they finally do it, don't criticize them. If you can't bear this, then you value the task more, so you should just do it yourself. This week's recommended actions: Identify a task someone else does for the team and thank them for it. Don't unconsciously undervalue their contributions. Identify a task you've been doing but you'd really rather someone else does. Decide if it's worth your effort or if it's better to stop doing it (see bullet #3). If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, February 17, 2019 Hi All! In this week's letter, I am introducing a Recommended Actions section. If you think this new section is redundant and/or not worth the space, please let me know. Here are this week's chosen learning points: Developing Passion: For most people, a passion isn't suddenly discovered but rather developed over time. That's because the most joyful part of a worthy endeavor often comes after you get good at it. (Source) Do we treat strangers better than loved ones? Actually, it's not that we treat strangers better than our loved ones; it's more that we wouldn't have strong emotions, positive or negative, towards strangers. (Source) The Marie Kondo Method: To not dread organizing but enjoy it, realize that organizing is a process of appreciation. Identify the items that served you in the past that you no longer use. Say "thank you", then donate or throw it away. (Source 1) (Source 2) Here are this week's recommended actions: If someone asked you "What's your passion?" two years from now, what would you want to say? Start developing that passion this week. For one encounter, treat a loved one as you would a stranger you want to befriend. Identify one thing that you no longer use. Thank the item for its past service, then donate or throw it away. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

There was a dad whose son was very lazy, and he wished to teach his son to cherish time. One day, when his son was lounging around and refusing to do anything worthwhile with his time, the dad took out an 8-inch long wooden rod. The son thought his dad was going to hit him, so he stood up and paid attention to what his dad was going to say. The dad said, “A person’s life is like this 8-inch long wooden rod. 8-inches represents 80 years. When you are under 20 years old, you don’t have much ability to contribute to the household and society. You can only be a taker of your family’s hard work and society’s services. During those 20 years, you’re not very useful.” Then the dad took out a knife and cut off 2 inches from the rod. BAM. The loud sound startled the son. The dad continued, “When a person reaches 60, they lose the ability to contribute to society. They retire and rely on their family or the government to provide for them. So that’s another 20 years.” BAM. The dad cut off another 2 inches. The son was feeling very uncomfortable at this point. The dad kept going, “The remaining 40 years, we can divide into three parts. People spend a third of their time sleeping, so we need to cut that off.” BAM. “People also spend a lot of time eating, showering, using the restroom.” BAM. The son was very nervous and said, “Ok I get it dad. You can stop cutting the rod now.” The dad replied, “You don’t understand yet son. People also lose time because they get sick. And you waste so much time on pointless chatter. You really have such little time in your life to do meaningful and worthwhile things.” BAM. From that day on, the son stopped being lazy and started to cherish his time, using it for meaningful and worthwhile purposes. Source

Published Date: Sunday, February 10, 2019 This week, I was very interested in the Gottman Institute, which gives research-backed advice for improving relationships. Here are this week's chosen learning points: Who should listen more in a marriage: Heterosexual marriages succeed to the extend that husbands accept influence from wives, not vice-versa, because males tend to have bigger egos. (Source) What to avoid in a relationship: The Four Horseman that bring apocalypse to a relationship are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. I highly recommend checking out this 2-minute video. Commitment trumps tactics in marriage: Marriage success is not depend on who you are or what you do, but rather how you communicate with each other. Personality compatibility and life circumstances are trivial compared to commitment to making things work. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please share. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: February 3, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Relationship Longevity: There's a magic ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions that guarantees a relationship to last. As the ratio approaches 1:1, the relationship becomes doomed. (Source) Small Decision Making: If you're struggling between two options, just flip a coin. If you're displeased with the result, you subconsciously preferred the other choice. If you're still indifferent, then at least the choice is made. (Source) Helping Lonely People: People who are feeling lonely feel more critical, negative, and judgmental, so we can't expect them to reach out and be friendly. It's our job to reach out and be friendly. (Source) *I think loneliness is an important topic that more people need to better understand, so I wrote a blog post on it. If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, January 27, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Giving Advice: We should be cheerleaders instead of advisers towards others unless they explicitly ask for advice. Besides, people only take advice from their trusted cheerleaders. (Source) The Arrival Fallacy: It's "the false belief that reaching a valued destination can sustain happiness." To truly attain lasting happiness, we need to enjoy the process. (Source) Goal Achievement: What is your #1 goal this year? What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning (after your morning hygiene routine)? Do the answers match up? The #1 priority should get first access to ALL relevant resources — your calendar, your time, your attention, your energy. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, January 20, 2019 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points, featuring wisdom from Gretchen Rubin's Happier podcast: Maintaining Communication: When it comes to communication and visiting people, frequency is more important than duration. (Source) Habits: What I do every day matters more than what I do once in a while. Set thoughtful daily habits, and don't beat yourself up for the occasional mistake. (Source) A rhyme to help with gift shopping: Something they want, something they need, something to do, something to read. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: January 13, 2019 Here are this week's chosen learning points: Souvenir Idea: A great souvenir for yourself when travelling is a postcard. On it, write yourself a message about the trip. It's cheap, easy to store, and helps you look for things to remember on the trip. (Source) Process vs. Outcome Goals: The secret to achieving goals is to set process goals, not outcome goals. An outcome oriented goal would be "lose 10lbs", whereas a process goal would be "make my own lunch instead of eating out five times a week." Then schedule the process into your calendar once and have it recur every week for the whole year. (Source) The Argument of the Growing Heap: If 10 coins are not enough to make a man rich, what if you add one coin? What if you add another? Finally, you will have to say that no one can be rich unless one coin makes them so. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

I searched my email archives and couldn't find this one. Seems like I skipped #11 by accident.

Date Published: Sunday, January 5, 2019 Hi Al! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Three Work Styles: Marathoners prefer working steadily towards project deadlines, while Sprinters prefer the pressure of impending deadlines. Marathoners get annoyed at Sprinters, but Sprinters do a good job thanks to their rush of energy and creativity. In contrast, Procrastinators struggle to work even as a deadline approaches. (Source) 3-Gulp Rule: In a heated or ineffective discussion, try Bob Parson's 3-gulp rule: First, acknowledge them with an "mhm" or a nod. Then take 3 gulps of water and use that time to think. This act makes your response seem (and rightfully so) thoughtful rather than an off-the-cuff remark. (Source) Quote I'm Pondering: "The days are long, but the years are short." -Gretchen Rubin (Source). If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful week ahead!

Published Date: Sunday, December 30, 2018 Hi All! Here are this week's chosen learning points: Only 44% of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions (Source). Of those people, the top resolutions for 2019 are exercising more (38%), saving money (37%), and traveling (24%) (Source). Only 39% of people in their 20’s and 14% of those in their 50’s achieve their resolutions (Source). Don't like making New Year’s Resolutions? Try Past Year Reviews. Go through every week of your past year’s calendar and write down the people and activities that brought the most positivity and negativity. Then, schedule more of the positive things for next year and write the negative things on a not-to-do list. (Source) People often obsess about making the “best” decision such that it's ineffective. Instead, it’s better to get good at making a decision, then quickly undoing and remaking the decision with new learnings. (Source) If you think someone else would find this newsletter useful, please forward it to them. Thanks, and have a wonderful New Year's!